Camp counsellors of Reddit were asked: “What is the most NSFW thing you’ve seen happen at camp?” These are some of the best answers.
30. This summer I walked in on five 15-16 year olds comparing testicle size. That was a fun incident report to fill out.
ReiDelSofa
29. My favorite one was a thirteen year old boy at camp out. Both his hands were in his sleeping bag and he was clearly playing with himself. His counsellor called a “handcheck” where you have to display both hands in the air. He only raised on hand. The counsellor asked for both hands and he replied “Give me four minutes.”
hillary511
28. Saw a girl give a guy a handy under a towel. On the bus. On the bus filled with children. On the bus filled with children going to a Christian camp.
landica_33
27. I was a camp counsellor a few years ago at a camp for foster kids. One week a counsellor caught a camper (M15) in bed with another camper (F14). The room they were in was tiny, and the four other girls in the bunks were awake and cheering them on.
They were loud enough to wake the counsellor, who pulled the male camper out of bed. The guy had a zip lock bag around his junk, held in place by a rubber band. I was both impressed at their dedication to trying to have safe sex, and appalled at how terribly they went about it.
26. One year I was working a “regular” camp and had a lead counsellor run over to another counsellor and I to say “Look in the first stall of the boy’s bathroom.”
We left our kids with our age group’s female counsellors and ran. By the time we made it a crowd of counsellors had formed around the toilet. Contained inside was by far the mightiest, largest turd I have ever seen in my life. Easily a diameter of 3 inches and long enough to be far down into the toilet while also Free Willy’ing out of the surface of the water. No campers were told about this.
A few days later a camper asked me if we were running to the bathroom the other day because of a giant piece of poop and claimed to be the conjurer of it. I was mortified.
DanThePenguin
25. We heard rumors about the cabin next to us one week at camp. It was a game called “Monkey” and it involved one of the kids getting naked and putting a sock over his penis. He’d then swing around the room using the bed frames and what not making monkey noises.
To this day I’m not sure what the “game” was…
Tcraw487
24. Had 6-year-old campers at a day camp. After swimming, found 2 of them facing each other naked in the locker room. They were standing there, hitting each other’s erect penises and making the ‘boing boing’ sounds.
kulak
23. I was working at a camp in Colorado probably 12 years ago. I think it was the first day right around dinner time and a girl just up and died. Her heart just stopped. She was sitting talking with her friends and fell over. It was incredibly intense and very sad for a lot of people and tons of people were there to witness it.
OnlyTrueAnecdotes
22. A 5-year-old girl peed the bed next to mine and we couldn’t tell for days because it was so humid that we thought it was the mildew on the damp towels. Poor girl slept in her own pee for 2-3 days.
kam1012
21. I was a day camp counsellor during the summers in high school. I watched another counsellor perform oral sex on herself after smoking by the gully. My 16-year-old self couldn’t look away.
_tx
20. There was this kid named Kevin who went to the bathroom to take a poo, but there was pee on the toilet seat so he started to cry and then took a poo on the floor because he really had to go.
rickysauce36
19. I was a camp counsellor years ago and I can tell you almost everything I saw with the counsellors was NSFW. I couldn’t walk into a room without seeing people banging. In tents, on top of the staff washing machines, in the General Store. Parents, if you send your kids to camp, just remember…literally the only thing those counsellors are thinking about is banging each other.
very_cool_stuff
18. Camp counsellor for a bunch of 12-year-olds a couple years back, and Tyson, the horny little pleasured himself every night. We all stayed in big teepees and I’d always hear that kid every night, just the subtle sound of movement and then it would gradually die after a few minutes. I could barely sleep.
yungfinnigus
17. I worked at a sleep-away Girl Scout camp with all female counsellors and staff where a solid 60% were lesbian. There was a strictly enforced “no more banging in the bushes rule,” because so many counsellors would go at it anywhere they could find.
listless_leprechaun
16. Camper who spoke no english got a nasty head wound from a nail on the cabin rafters that he face dived into.
irrationalskeptic
15. I was with a group of about 10 kids, all 8 or 9 years old. One day before pool time one kid walked into the bathroom, got buck naked, then started crying because he had lost his bathing suit. I went in trying to defuse the situation and he bolted.
He ran around at top speed screaming and crying, flailing his arms all over the place. Do you know how illegal it looks for a 16 year old boy to chase a nude 8 year old?
Well I eventually caught the kid and brought him back to the bathroom. When I asked him what his bathing suit looked like, he pulled a bathing suit out and said “It looks like this… OHHH!”
He had his bathing suit 6 feet from him the entire time.
PKMNtrainerKing
14. Counsellors having group sex in an empty cabin next to the bathrooms.
ReginaAstrum
13. I knew this guy at camp. He was maybe 13. He got two girls pregnant, man. Two girls pregnant!
Born2dodishes
12. I worked as a counsellor at a camp for adults with intellectual disabilities. All my campers were in their 20s-late 30s.
One night one of my campers was pleasuring herself loudly and furiously. Because we all slept in one giant room, her noises were waking everyone up. It was so distracting that I had to give her the sex chat the next day and also explain it to all my campers privately. BOY what a fun day that was.
alluhsun
11. Day one at camp, we jumped out of the bus and ran around because we were so excited. My friend ran behind the bus and the bus ran him over. He was rushed off by ambulance, we didn’t see him for another 3 months.
Chefgarlicjunky
10. One year this kid at camp was convinced he was Jesus. He wore a purple tablecloth around and made three other campers don different coloured tablecloths he brought himself and be his disciples.
He would often slap female campers as he walked by, one time escalating to him throwing a female councillor against the brick wall of the bath house. That was the end of that.
pimpolay
9. A kid pretended to be possessed by Hitler and then attacked me because I’m Jewish.
Also while he was possessed by Hitler he yelled, “WHO KILLED ME?!” To which somebody in the crowded cabin responded, “You killed yourself Dustin.”
JoshGoldFish
8. I was working as a counsellor at an overnight camp and I saw two boys (about 10 years old) fighting and then walk inside a cabin to settle their argument. I followed them in just in time to see them start fighting. It ended with the one kid pulling off 3/4 of the other kid’s earlobe, which I had to scoop up and put in a plastic bag with some ice before driving him to the hospital.
They were fighting about who was a better musician: Eminem or Bob Marley.
12-12
7. We had a camp store. At the beginning of the session your parents would put in like 40 dollars so you could buy little things or ice cream if you wanted. However, everyone always ran out. Girls started prostituting themselves for store goods. A nipple peek for an ice cream, a butt grab for 2 king size candy bars, a kiss for sodas. It escalated.
yeastybeast
6. I was playing a Simon says type game and we had a way of ensuring the kids spaced out enough. Didn’t prevent one five year old from kicking another five year old square in the mouth. Lost 2 of his front baby teeth, blood everywhere, screaming. We had a guest speaker walk in while I carried this child covered in blood to the back room.
RedditsInBed
5. I was an adult leader at a scout camp, and was told to check on a pair of kids who were rumbling around their tent a lot. Well, I knocked on the tent post, and there was no reply, just more rumbling. Well, for all I knew, one kid was strangling the other, so I yelled, asking what they were doing, the rumbling stopped, but there was still no reply, so I untied the tent door.
In front of me was an iPad playing hardcore porn, a pair of ear buds, and two 12 year old boys, one nude, and one wearing only a shirt. I instinctively closed the tent flap, but I wasn’t sure what to do. I gave them a few minutes, confiscated the iPad, and separated the two. I told the scoutmaster that I did it because they were sharing porn.
Duck-You-Sucker
4. I work at a summer day camp at a local park with kids in kindergarten age group.
Basically this 6 year old boy found a dead bird in the grass and decided it would be fun to pick it up and smear the blood and guts all over his hands and arms. After doing that, he started chasing around other campers to try to share his bird entrails on them.
I had the pleasure of catching the gore-covered kid, ripping the bird’s ravaged carcass out of his hands, and spending half an hour in the bathroom getting him and myself cleaned up. When I asked him why the heck he picked up a dead animal he said that he “thought it was something awesome to do.”
3. In high school I was a counsellor at a community outdoor camp where a lot of the kids who attended were there just because their parents needed to put them somewhere. These kids were typically 8-12 years old.
We would have to take the kids on hikes around the property where we’d see a bunch of uninteresting animals, hang out by a pond or creek, then head back to the main center where some animal expert would bring in a snake or owl to give the children some excitement each day.
One week we got these two little dudes who hated everything about the camp from the start but they hated each other more than Samuel Jackson hates snakes on a plane. (continued on the next page…)
They were constantly finding creative ways to piss each other off throughout the week. On the last day of camp we had just finished a hike and stopped by a creek where everyone could rest and look for frogs or throw mud into the woods.
Behind me I hear one of the two call the other a “b—-“, after which I slowly turned around to see what the other one would do. The accused “b—-” had picked up a half cinder block size rock and was bringing over his head so he could smash the back of the accuser’s head in with it. Fortunately I was close enough to where I could grab the rock before it came down on the other kid’s unsuspecting head.
jamesbmadison
2. I was a counsellor at a day camp. We took kids to the zoo. A kid shoved his thumb fully inside a petting zoo goat’s butt. I asked him why and he just shrugged looking at me like I’m the idiot.
I felt bad for the goat but it was still standing next to him, so maybe it was into it.
Its-ther-apist
1. Worked at a cub scout camp. Hooked up with another staff member and dated for a few weeks until the girl left me for another female staff member. That went went on for the rest of camp. They broke up afterwards, and now that second girl (the one I didn’t date at camp) is my wife.
PenguinTamer