A dream is a wish your heart makes. Or it’s a terrifying scream from the unconscious soul of Salvador Dali on acid.
This piece is based on a number of AskReddit threads. Links on the last page.
1. Heart of the party.
I dreamed I went cliff diving and ended up hitting a rock on my way down. But instead of blood, silly string sprayed out and a bunch of people gathered around my dying body to have a dance party.
2. Anything you can imagine is real.
I had a dream that I was in love with this girl and that we had this long, awesome relationship. She was beautiful, I was happy, etc. It was fantastic.
Two days later, I started a new job that I had never been to, and I met that exact girl. She looked exactly like the girl from my dream. I had a weird moment of “holy crap, did I just dream the future,” and then I started talking to her and found out that she was pretty mean. So close.
3. Boom – roasted.
I once had this super real dream that I was a roast beef sandwich. And then someone ate me and I had just this pure feeling of bliss and satisfaction like I had fulfilled my purpose in life.
4. …What happened to the others?
A few years ago when I was in high school, I had this dream where I was sitting in a field relaxing. A railway line was running through the field and I noticed a strange object sitting in the middle of the track. I go to investigate and it’s one of those ball-in-a-cup toys. The second I pick it up, the string suddenly wraps around me and I’m bound to the rails like in a cliche western movie. Sure enough, a train approaches. It’s Percy, from Thomas The Tank Engine.
He’s charging towards me full speed and stops a couple feet away from me. After I get a close look at him, his face looks like he just got the crap beaten out of him. In a very disturbing, raspy voice he mutters, “Help me, I don’t want to end up like the others! followed by a blood-curdling shriek.
Then I woke up in a cold sweat. I was 17 years old and just had a nightmare about Thomas the Tank Engine.
5. The man behind the Mask.
About 15 years ago, I had a dream/nightmare that occurred over 3 nights, like a horror mini-series, picking up nearly exactly where it left off the night before. It was vivid and terrifying in a way that was unlike any other dream I’ve ever had, and although it happened over 15 years ago, certain images are still just burned in my brain.
My mother and grandmother metamorphasized into vampires and began hunting me. At the outset of the dream I was on foot, going in and out of shops. But as my vampire mother and grandmother closed in on me, a celebrity made a guest appearance.
Jim Carrey suddenly arrived in an awesome Corvette and swooped me up, getting us out of there just in time.
The rest of the dream was basically a horror/action sequence of cat-and-mouse, with vampires chasing and nearly catching me, and my hero Jim Carrey helping get me out of close call after close call.
6. The rotary club.
I dreamt I really needed to dial 911, but accidentally kept putting in 991 every single time. For some reason, I was using one of those rotary dial phones.
When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I would have these dreams that I was pushing boulders up a hill. Sometimes there would be a rubber band holding them back so I was just pushing with all my might and not going anywhere. I would wake up exhausted. It was a pretty stressful dream to be having as a kid.
8. Hello darkness, my old friend.
A bunch of skeletons lined up while the Sound of Silence played in the background.
9. Heil Morpheus.
Just last night I met with Hitler and ask him who the second in command was. I knew it was Goering, but somehow his answer was “Lawrence Fishburne.”
I was careful to address him as “Mein Fuhrer.”
10. Sad meat tube.
A little boy was throwing a tantrum but stopped when I told him that the sausage he threw on the floor would be disappointed in him if he didn’t.
11. Panic room.
I had a dream about finding a “secret room” behind the walls in my apartment. It all started with me scratching on the wallpaper where I found a wooden door.
The next thing I know is that I’m having a hard time breathing and someone sitting on top of my chest while I have a bag over my head. A laugh was heard and I could barely do anything.
I then woke up and I though that I was being assaulted and killed. I haven’t had such a nightmare since I was on morphine for a week.
12. Man, I feel like a woman.
I dreamt that I was a woman, and I was having sex. With all the effects that come with it (the sounds, the feelings). Then I woke up and questioned many things.
13. You’re like King Arthur.
I had a dream when I was younger that I was in hell, face to face with Satan himself. A glowing white sword crashed into the ground from out of nowhere and we basically had a sword fight. I ended up cutting his head off. Go me?
14. That’s so sad.
I had a dream that my mom (who was dying from cervical cancer) went into full remission and was better again. Woke up in the morning and we got the call that she had died. The dream felt so real. Still feels like it was a big screw you from the universe.
15. Almost got hit by a red shell.
Dreamt I went to find my brother to get my game system back. I found him choking on an apple. I attempted a Heimlich manoeuvre but overdid it. We fell off a balcony, plummeting to our certain death only to be caught by Yoshi!
16. I Belieb.
Okay, absolute hands down weirdest dream I’ve ever had and I have no clue why I had it.I was in a studio where talk shows take place and I was sitting in the audience. So, the talk show began and the guest was Justin Bieber.
So, they’re doing their thing, talking and what not, when all of a sudden Justin whips out his penis and just starts waving it around while still talking to the talk show host. No one was phased at all. It isn’t until he finished that everyone’s like “oh” At this point, he’s screaming. Justin’s screaming, the host is screaming, everyone is screaming. The end.
17. Shag carpet.
Had a dream two weeks ago where I walked into a house with a young woman. The entire place had green carpeting and there were two staircases leading up and down. She grabbed my hand and said “let’s go up to the bedroom.”
We started walking up the stairs before I shouted for her to wait a moment. I then proceeded to find a bathroom on the 1st floor, fill a bucket with water, and wash the carpets. I passed on sex to do chores. Worst dreamer ever.
18. Why all the Hitler dreams?
I once dreamed I was dating Hitler. He liked to wear sweaters and was really sorry about WWII.
19. The dream police.
It was during a midday nap, which normally produces the most vivid dreams for me. This was also when I started trying to get lucid.
I dreamed that I woke up in my bed and walked into my living room to greet someone. The dream reset and I woke up in my bed again and I walked out to do dishes. The dream reset and I walked into my living room only to get chased around by a small, quick monster that I never really got a good look at.
This dream reset on me seven times. During that seventh wakening, the pattern of it finally occurred to me and I remember excitedly thinking, “I’ve been here before… I’m dreaming!” Immediately after having that thought, a voice that conjured up imagery of a group of men in suits and scrubs, a voice that sounded like it came from outside of my dreamscape said, “He knows. Get him out of there!”
And then I woke up alone.
20. Absolutely vital information.
I had a dream where I was sat on a chair in a weird room with red curtains and a black and white chevron tile floor. There was also a small man there and a young blonde woman sat next to him.
The small man spoke really strangely and told me the gum that I like was going to come back in style. The young blonde woman then told me sometimes her arms bend back. Apparently they’re from a place where the birds sing a pretty song and there’s always music in the air. The woman then got up, kissed me, and whispered someones name in my ear. The small man then started to dance to some cool jazz music. It was quite a trip.
21. Sexy AND delicious.
I had a dream where I saw myself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me.
22. Dawson’s Creep.
When I was about 14 I had an extremely vivid dream that my friends and I were being hunted by a serial killer and every time the killer would get one of us, Paula Cole’s “I Don’t Want To Wait” would play in the background. I can’t believe my subconscious ruined that musical masterpiece for me.
23. Never had a friend like ME.
I got chased down an alleyway by a half Robin Williams half pig creature.
The other day I dreamt I was Batman. I’m a huge Batman fan and I was … bad at being him. My grappling hook failed all the time, and I kept announcing “I’m Batman” when jumping into groups of criminals (which isn’t really very Batman-like), only to get beaten up badly every time.
It was really depressing.
25. A God dream.
When I was a kid I had an abstract, feverish dream which is hard to explain, but I basically dreamt of infinity.
I was enveloped in something infinitely small and infinitely big at the same time, and it was terrifying. Woke up and felt physically ill.
26. Giving me nightmares.
No joke: I’m at a party, and I need to pee. I ask where the bathroom is and someone tells me it’s in the attic, which is furnished. Just go up the stairs. But watch out. Jimmy’s up there, and he just died.
So I walk upstairs and the only bulb in the attic is red. Everything is awash with red. I look across the room, a sofa facing to my right and right beyond is the bathroom. Jimmy is sitting on the sofa with his head back as if sleeping.
I walk slowly, heart beating in my throat, blood rushing to my head; I clumsily step over Jimmy’s legs, trying not to touch him. I get to the bathroom and look back. He’s sitting on the sofa. While I’m peeing I reach my head back to check on Jimmy. He’s definitely dead.
I finish up, wash my hands and look up in the mirror. I notice how different I look in the red light. Even though I’m in my thirties, I look like a teenager. I dry my hands and move to go downstairs. Hes looking at me. Looking at me with white eyes. Jimmy’s head is now lazily facing me and he’s looking right at me as if he’s going to answer a question I asked.
How did he move his head? Why are the center of his eyes white? What did I do? He’s shifting his body. He’s moving. Trying to get up. How do I escape? How do I get by him without him grabbing me? My God he’s standing up. He’s making an excited sucking noise, the noise something makes when it’s going to get what it wants. Where do I go? He’s dragging himself, sliding, falling towards me. What do I do? What do I-
And then I woke up, terrified.
27. And my axe.
My sex dreams are getting concerning. Last night I had one where I walked into a bedroom to hook up with my girlfriend. But instead, on the bed, there was a big hairy dwarf – like Gimli from Lord of the Rings.
He wouldn’t get out of the room. He had an easel with a drawing of Texas and Mexico and he kept talking about the best way to defend Texas from a Mexican invasion, so I just put a pillow on his face and pressed. I suffocated Gimli so I could have sex. I’m still confused about what this means.
28. Grandma is for *real*.
Had a dream in which my grandma scored a goal for Manchester United while simultaneously robbing a bank.
29. How do *you* like it?!
A piata hung me from a tree by my neck and beat me with a metal bat, screaming about revenge.
30. Which is witch?
When I was about 9 I had a recurring nightmare for a few days in a row where I was being chased around my grandmas house by one of those rubber witch fingers you get around halloween that had been possessed.
31. That’s… almost poetic.
I dreamt cut open my wrist and inside was a strip of film whizzing around like a sort of old school projector, and on the film were different images from my memories spattered with blood.