Recently a Reddit thread asked “Those who have witnessed wedding objections, what happened?” Here are the users’ best submissions.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
I went to a wedding a few years back set on a beautiful barn where many wedding have been held before. When the question was asked “..does anyone object?” this goat off in the distance let out this loud bleat sound that they make, and everyone laughed it off.
They got divorced 2 years later. Goat knew what was up.
yurp30
A boy (maybe ten or so) stood up like he was going to object. Found out later it was because he didn’t want his mom to marry his new stepdad. One dirty look from mom shut him down but it was really uncomfortable.
IWorshipTacos
My wife’s ex confessed his love for her at our wedding during the objections part. He wasn’t invited, just showed up.
OCthrowaway18
We had our wedding in front of a bay. We had our officiant say “If anyone has any objections as to why these two should not be married, the bride and groom have provided cement shoes and you may feel free to jump into the bay behind us.”
mtg-Moonkeeper
Walk pass a church over in the village nearby to get some lunch from a take away. The obvious angered father in an old looking suit that had a torn sleeve burst out the church door yelling “MY DAUGHTER IS NOT MARRYING A BLOODY AMERICAN” I only wish I stuck around to have found out why this man was so against his daughter marrying an American man but my stomach called for some cheesy chips.
XombiMetManyCreeps
My Friend’s older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a Judge who was a friend of theirs. He and his Fiancee thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell “I object” to which the judge yelled “Overruled!” It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don’t think some of their family members got it. I am dying to see the wedding video of it and not the crappy cellphone version.
lonihoni
Wedding I shot last year- got to the ‘do either of you know any reason why you may not be married bit’ and the bride disappeared behind the stage. Think the guests were fully expecting a jilting until the best man decided to take the edge off the situation by playing a slideshow of embarrassing photos of the groom while she was gone, she came back about ten minutes later. Turns out she just felt sick.
amphetaminecommunist
I was at a distant friend’s wedding. My wife knew them better than me, but I was her date, so I went. Right as the priest proclaims them husband and wife, there’s this huge lighting/thunder, then a gust of wind, church doors slam closed, and a stone angel topples over. They ended up getting divorced after she slept with the best man a few years after the wedding.
octavian_c
I’ve seen it happen a few times when I deliver cake/ food for a wedding, and it always is for two reasons: either someone in the family thinks the bride/groom isn’t good enough for their baby, usually for stupid reasons (income disparity, race, religion, etc) or cheating and being a general dirtbag.
notasugarbabybutok
At 2 different weddings when the officiant said “If anyone has a reason these two should not” I stood up, thought a second, and said ‘never mind’ and sat back down.
Hilarity.
I didn’t get invited to many weddings after that.
Before you hate: one bride knew it was coming, the other LOVED it.
ColorfulFork
My son was 19 months when my brother-in-law married his wife. We were in the second row of pews on the groom side. They had a full Catholic mass along with their wedding ceremony. When the priest finally got to the actual vows, my son had hit his limit. He screamed NO!! at that “Does anyone object” moment during the ceremony. Brother-in-law thought it was hilarious. It was.
nohelicoptersplz
I was at a wedding when the “funny guy” (we’ll call him Bobby) in the groom’s friend group decided to stand up when the question about objecting came up.
Before he could get a word out, another friend of the groom yelled out and said, “Sit down Bobby, you ain’t got nothing to say!” Everyone laughed because we didn’t really know how to react and Bobby sat down without a single word. He basically made a fool of himself in front of 75 people and made the rest of the ceremony really awkward.
Millionaire_
The groom tried to object. He had gotten the bride pregnant after a one-night stand, and the parents had forced a marriage. Even as a kid I could tell that they were clearly disgusted of each other (i.e. they couldn’t even kiss during the glass clinking). The bride dragged her feet quite literally across the aisle and when the pastor asked if anyone objected the groom began to nervously whisper to him, shaking his head and gesturing towards the bride. Both sets of parents got up and in loud whispers convinced him to go through with it. After a long, painfully awkward pause the ceremony continued. I have been to a lot of weddings and seen a lot of drama but this one has been one of the worst.
CJS_on_reddit
At my cousin’s wedding. The ceremony was quite elegant, and just as the pastor asked if anyone had objections to this marriage, my uncle stood, in the front row where everyone could see him, and proceeded to yell at and demean my cousin for getting pregnant before marriage. She then burst into tears and ran into the bathroom for over an hour. After she calmed down, we finished the wedding and my uncle hasn’t talked to her since.
JDogg_of_RS
I went to a friends wedding and during the reception his mother (who is an abusive alcoholic) got up to do an impromptu speech. She said “I can’t believe my son is marrying that horrible woman. She’s going to ruin his life.” The groom ripped the microphone out of her hand then yelled at her to back off and leave. This was 7 years ago and the couple are still married. For the record the bride is not a horrible person.
mastig
My friend had a little courthouse wedding and her future mother-in-law objected. The judge just stared at the mother-in-law for about 30 seconds and continued on like nothing happened. It was super awkward and the groom was mad. They did end up getting divorced, the groom had an affair with the maid of honor like 5 years later but, that’s a whole other story.
Troll_Flogger
Last wedding I went to was for a cousin. So it gets to the point of raising an objection and someone on our side of the guest seats stands up and begins screaming that he loves the bride and she should never have gotten with my cousin.
Apparently one of his friends had a thing for her and couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Yeah, he got escorted out by family right quick like. They divorced a few months later when it came out she’d been cheating on my cousin with that guy for a few months before the wedding.
cerem86
My dad attended my Uncle’s wedding (not my real uncle, but they were roommates in college) a few years ago and objected to the wedding as a joke. When the question was asked, my dad stood up and yelled “I object, she’s too good for him!” Suddenly all their old college friends stood up and also started objecting as it was all part of an elaborate plan to screw with my Uncle. The bride of course was mortified.
My uncle, knowing my dad and all their mutual friends, expected something like this and had spoken with the officiant about a reverse prank. My uncle whispered to the officiant that it was go time. The officiant quieted everyone down and then announced that he was in fact offering a two for one deal on marriages and invited my dad and his girlfriend of 13 years up to the altar to be married as well. Laughs ensued and my dad sat down and shut the hell up for the rest of the ceremony.
pinot_expectations
So my sister’s friend was getting married and I didn’t really now either the bride or groom, or their families… but yikes the families apparently had problems with these two marrying.
Sure the bride and groom were youngish (Bride 17, almost 18— Groom 18) but I don’t think that justifies the bride’s mother claiming the groom had said —he was the second coming of Christ— as one of the objections against him.
She had no proof of this and my sister tells me that was the first time anyone had said anything negative about the groom (my sister had attended the same school as both the bride and the groom, and rumor mills being what they are, you think if the groom had ever said anything remotely like this it would have come up before now)
Basically what happened is the wedding was ‘called off’. But not really. What happened was that they quickly (and secretly via text-message) coordinated the wedding party —minus the Bride’s mother— to meet in a nearby hotel where they held the ceremony with no further problems.
annamaetion
This was almost twenty years ago, kind of out of a Nicholas Sparks book. I went to the wedding of a friend of a friend while I was in town. Brides ex boyfriend shows up and objects saying he still loves her and will do anything for her. Bride then starts crying and admits she still loves him. Everything came to a crashing halt as the couple and their families went to have some private time to talk. A little while later we see the groom leave the church red in the face. The best man came out and announced the wedding was canceled. It was the first wedding I’d ever been to, I thought it was terrible.
(continued…)
Last year I was thinking about those people and called up my friend to find out what happened. Turned out the bride had broken up with the guy because of his lack of responsibility and maturity. She was going to marry a man who she thought she loved, but not more than her Ex. She went back to the Ex, and the Groom had to move on with his own life. I’d heard the Groom met a really wonderful lady and got married. He even said he was glad the first one ditched him as much as it hurt because his current wife is the greatest woman in the world. I don’t believe in karma, but the bride regretted going back to her Ex. He never changed, and after she started nagging him to change he gave her the slip and left her one night alone, with no money and with a kid. She lives with her parents now.
weird_in_UIC
So I had this friend (bride) who was in a verbally abusive relationship. I knew the guy from high school, he was actually one of the nerdy guys. She had only known the guy a few months and he proposed and convinced her to get married asap.
So day of the wedding they have known each other leas than a year. My friends father came to fetch her to go down the isle, she refuses and says she can’t do it. He says that she has to as he has already paid for everything. She walks down the isle and during the ceremony she “faints” (my opinion is she tried to get out of there). Groom picks her limp body up, whispers something in her ear and keeps her upright for the rest of the ceremony while her head bobs up and down.
(continued …)
On top of everything the pastor preached about how a woman can never be a mans equal and that if a woman tries to be a mans equal, he must do the right thing and oppress her in to knowing her place in the marriage.
On top of all this it was an outside wedding and the clouds were coming in. Lightning really frightened me. Some friends of ours comically thought it was God striking down on the pastor and groom.
Weirdest Wedding Ever.
TeargasTimmy
I work wedding bars and I saw a wedding where the bride never turned up to the altar and texted the guy 15 minutes before saying “I’m not coming.” It was super depressing, they went ahead with the ‘party’ and the groom ended up leaving at around half 7, the rest of the guests at 10. What had happened was the bride had spent all day with her parents the day before and they apparently hated her husband to be and had convinced her not to show up. Last thing I heard was she came to his door the next morning and apologised, they’re still together as far as I know… Man was that an awkward work night.
jannatjannat
I was about ten years old and went to a wedding with my parents. The wedding was for the daughter of one of my mom’s high school friends.
We got there early and Mom was talking to her friend who was continually reminding her husband to be nice. The husband was cop and the man marrying his daughter was a petty criminal. He was not happy and kept making comments about “the crook.” Even this many years later, I remember him sitting quietly and then he’d just burst out complaining about that “crook” whenever any of the ladies would mention him.
We get to the forest preserve where the wedding is being held (according to cop-dad, because the cheap crooked bastard didn’t make enough money stealing things to afford anything better). Apparently, the mother offered to help pay, but the bride didn’t want anything from them because she didn’t want more tension between the groom and dad.
Anyway, some minister goes through his thing and asks for objections. Cop dad stands up and you can hear gasps. His wife grabs his arm and is reaching to cover his mouth. She’s shouting, “SIT DOWN! DON’T DO THIS!” He shrugs her off and yells, “IT’S NOT AN OBJECTION!” Everyone quiets down. The bride looks somewhat hopeful. Cop-dad says, “Look, it’s not really an objection… I just want to say one thing… He’s an asshole and you’re making a huge mistake! Go ahead… I’m done.”
There were laughs, gasps, and every other kind of reaction you can imagine. Bride didn’t cry, but looked like she was ready to kill her father and burst into tears. Groom just grinned (I’ll never forget that smug look on his face – I’m amazed cop-dad didn’t attack him right then and there because I probably would have). After a minute or so, the hippie minister continued. Reception was BBQ and a keg. Everyone left within an hour or two.
I remember hearing that the groom was arrested on their honeymoon for starting a fight with someone. About six months later, he and a friends of his were arrested for kidnapping some woman, robbing her, and leaving her tied up in some forest preserve. While he was in jail for the next several years, the wife divorced him. She’s now married to an athletics director at some university. Cop-dad approves of this one.
Myzyri