People in movies always seem to have the best timing: perfect comebacks, perfect excuses, perfect pickup lines. Screenwriters these days are on a roll and you may start to question whether you could come up with something as good as their lines without getting a writing degree. Well here’s a few examples to give you hope.
People on Reddit were asked: “What is the smoothest thing you have ever done that resulted in a date?” These are a few of the best answers.
Was at a rock show with my friend and we ran into three sisters who we knew and got into a conversation with them. The eldest sister pulled me aside and asked me what the deal was with my friend because “He was hitting on me a couple of weeks ago and now he’s turning around and hitting on my sister. What’s up with that?”
Without really thinking I just pointed out that “You and your sisters are hot. I would think that you would be used to that by now.” She cornered me in a stairwell later that night and made out with me very aggressively.
ghosttrainhobo
We both worked at different stores in the same mall. I had seen him a couple of times when I went into his store and we had talked for a while.
One day he brought out some snowboard boots that I was going to try on. We got to talking and he asked why we hadn’t hung out yet. So I said “We probably would have by now if you had ever asked for my number!” He totally blushed and of course got my number. We’re still dating 2 years later.
SarahEverything
I walked right into a guy last week. As I was turning red and opened my mouth to apologize, he looked skyward and said, “thank you.” It cracked me up, gave me an out, and when our conversation ended, he walked away with my number.
surpassing_disasters
I was clubbing in Cambridge at the end of Movember, and the club I was waiting in line for was passing out fake comedy mustaches we could stick on, so I put one on.
There was a hot guy/ fit lad in front of me sporting an impressive tash, and I said:
“Hey. You have a mustache.” He agreed that he did.
“I have a mustache.” He agreed that I did.
“We should touch our mustaches together.” And we did.
ScathachRises
I was at a house party my freshmen year of college and the upstairs bathroom had a window that overlooked the deck we were out on. Basically, if a gentlemen were to use the facilities he would be overlooking the party. So this very good looking guy opens the window and starts yelling at his friends from the bathroom.
When he comes back downstairs his group of friends is standing right near mine so I turn around and say, “Hey, did you remember to wash your hands up there?” Everyone gives me a look, and he answers, “Um, yeah.”
I stuck my hand out and said, “Just wanted to make sure. Hi.” He took my hand and introduced himself amidst all of our friends doing the “oooooohhhhhh!!!”
I felt so smooth. Plus I got to drunkenly make out with a hot older guy. In my albeit hazy memory this was such a movie moment.
MoreThanASuperstar
Cute female TSA agent apologizes for the inconvenience as she pats me down.
“That’s alright. We can tell our kids this is how we met.”
MuNansen
Met an English girl at a party. She said, “Sorry, I like girls.”
I said, “So do I. Let’s find one we can share.”
First threesome.
BrokenSea
Walking in a store and did that awkward step to one side, guy steps to the same side, try to step to the other side, guy also steps to the other side. This happened three times before he gently grabbed my hand, put his other hand on my waist and said “Now we’re dancing” and spun me around until we were both on the side of the aisle we wanted to be on. It was quite magical.
reneelizabeth
So my sophomore year (of high school), there was this girl I was kind of developing feelings for. There was a dance coming up I wanted to take her to, but I didn’t want to look like an idiot by asking her out and then hearing that she already had a date.
I came up with this brilliant plan. I would ask her who she was going with, and then if she said either no one, or she didn’t know, then I would ask her if she would like to go with me.
The resulting conversation:
“Who are you going to the dance with?”
“You.”
I wonder if I should have tried repeating this conversation when I asked her to marry me.
SteevyT
We were killing time after a movie, neither of us wanting the night to end. Perched upon the hood of my car, we were staring up at the night sky. A shooting star arcs across our field of view, and I casually mention that I’d never seen one before (truth). She excitedly tells me to make a wish. I shrug my head and say “No need. You’re already here.”
ZekeD
He told me he liked my hair, and I said “You think my hair is pretty? You should see my phone number!”
lurking_lady
My fianc used one on me first and I gave her one back.
So we were at the last football game of the season at the university we attended sitting in the student section. I was drunk and almost fell over a few times. We got to talking and stuff, cheering for the team and I almost fell over again. She caught my shirt and said “If you’re going to fall it better be for me” with the most gorgeous smile ever. I looked at her and said “I’m going to make you my wife, so we should hang after this is over.”
hardshell1919
A guy came up to me at a bar and asked me who I thought would win in a fight: a gorilla or a lion? I saw his friends watching with smirks off to the side. I said, “It depends. Was it a silverback gorilla, and was the lion male or female?”
His friends exchanged money while laughing (I guess they had bets on whether I’d talk to him or not). We then proceeded to talk about animals for the next 20 minutes and was by far the most interesting bar conversation I’ve ever had.
BlitzChick
Couldn’t sleep and was listening to music because sometimes it helps. Guy I liked sent me a message. He asked what I was doing so I said I was just listening to music, but I also told him I’d rather be lying with my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat instead. He got so shy and awkward. It was so cute.
AlexisRayne
She had something in her eye, and she kept rubbing it.
She says, “My eye is driving me wild.”
I said, “Your eyes have been driving me wild all night.”
BAM.
ScienceAteMyKid
One time I had a girl in my car that I really liked and wanted to impress. Now, this was in the late 1980s when CD players in cars were really new. I had a custom installation that worked pretty well, but it had some flaws. In particular, I had to hit the play button whenever I turned on the car. Then the amp wouldn’t kick in for about 30 seconds, for some reason. So I was in the habit of hitting the play button ASAP as I turned on the car, so the tunes would start up.
So we get in my car (a Mustang convertible, at the time). And as usual, I hit the play button as soon as I started the car. But having done this literally hundreds of times, I was very fast and fluid at it, and the girl didn’t even notice that I had done it.
So we pull away, driving down Pacific Coast Highway in Southern California along the ocean, as I recall. So the girl says, “Hey, how about some music?”
I knew the amp was just about to kick in. So without even glancing at her, I snapped my fingers in front of the CD player. The timing was perfect. The music immediately started up.
My expression never changed, like I expect magic things to happen at the snap of my fingers all the time. She just stared at the CD player, stared at me, then just shook her head with a little laugh. I felt like the smoothest king of the smooth people.
nairebis
“Hi, do you have any raisins?”
“No.”
“How about a date?”
[deleted]
I was at a concert and saw an attractive guy who didn’t have any friends with him. Since I didn’t either, I figured it would be a good idea to walk up to him.
So I pushed through the crowd and said “Hey, you look cool. I’m going to talk to you now.”
Works every time.
choruscat
Back in high school, I used sit in the back of the bus and this girl from my neighborhood would always sit next to me. One day I was fooling around with the emergency release latch, and she grabbed my hand, making the latch go up and the door swing open.
I said “If that opens, you’re going out with me”, as in, when I fall out of the bus, I’m taking you with me.
She understood it as, she’s “going out with me” as in, ‘we’re dating’- so she opened the latch and pushed me out.
Pretty smooth.
matkrill
My girlfriend at the time and I were watching a movie in my basement. One of the lines in the movie went something along the lines of:
“So did you kiss her yet?”
“No, but I really want to.”
“Well you should just go for it.”
And I said “Yeah, you’re right.” And leaned in and kissed her. And that’s the story of my first kiss.
sconnie64
It was his birthday, I told him to close his eyes because I’d give him a present.
Then I kissed him.
sufferer
My sole act of confidence in life.
Was round a friend’s flat with a group of people having a drink and liked the housemate. He walked in just to introduce himself and then said “I’m off to bed.” I said “You should come to my bed instead.”
People sat there in a stunned silence. He took a minute or so to pull his jaw off the floor and went, “I’ll be two minutes I’ll get my shoes.” Ended in a relationship, he was cool.
wrong-hole
The first time I asked her out, I said “On a scale of one to America, how free are you on Friday night?” We got married. True story.
[deleted]
“Well, since the only other chair is taken, I’m either on your lap or the floor.”
I wound up on his lap.
LeucanthemumVulgare
When camera phones were a fairly new thing, I took a picture of one of my sister’s friends and said, “Now if I had your number, that picture would come up whenever you call me.”
[deleted]
Step 1: I had an asthma attack
Step 2: Looked her in the eyes
Step 3: Said “You’ve taken my breath away.”
Did this on my first date with my current girlfriend and we have been dating for over a year now.
themouseisonmyright
Saw an attractive girl on campus walking my way while texting. Pulled out my phone and pretended to text. Walked right into her.
Me: “OMG I’m so sorry I was texting and didn’t see you!”
Her: “OMG me too hahaha”
“Maybe you should give me your number so I can warn you next time?”
Got the number, went out a few times, but she was literally glued to her phone every time.
fallinouttadabox
I’ve done this a couple times. If he is taking off I will say “Hey, I think you forgot something.” He will turn around and look confused and I will say “My phone number.”
amg6
My mom wrote me an email that she was worried I wasn’t getting enough sleep, enjoying San Francisco too much, etc. and that my life was more organized and healthier when I had a girlfriend. It was a very mom e-mail, but it ended with “P.S.- Find a girl.”
I just walked up to a girl at a bar, handed her my phone with the email pulled up, and told her I was under orders. We’ve been dating for 6 months.
Ben_Childs
I wanted to ask a girl out at the place I worked, she was a customer. She was paying at the register and she was writing a check and asked me “What’s today’s date?” I said “Tonight at 8.” Cheesy? Yes. Did it work? Yes. Smooth? Who knows.
wacko007
Some of this material has been edited for clarity.