I have some really gnarly scars that my kids like to make up stories about. My favorite being the time I fought off three knife wielding, psychotic carnies and murdered them with my bare hands.

Heat stroke + rhabdomyolysis. I was admitted with a temp of 108.6 and they were telling my family to prepare for the worst. Had to stay in the hospital for a few days and then take it easy for a few months but otherwise came out unscathed. 

Don’t recommend it.

Had a seizure at work and was apparently walking into walls and fell down in the bathroom. My mom came to pick me up, brought me to my place. 

I fell down and had another seizure and my mom called an ambulance.

All I remember was going into the bathroom at work after puking in my lesson room. I woke up in an ICU with everyone telling me that I had brain cancer and that I only had two weeks to live. 

They started chemo treatment immediately at Cedars and now I’m completely clean of cancer.

When I woke up I had been in a coma for 5 days, both my lungs had collapsed, I had 3 blood transfusions, a chest tube to drain the internal bleeding, three surgeries and the whole left side of my body broken. I couldn’t walk and my vision and memory had been damaged. 

It’s been 6 years and I’m doing great now. You wouldn’t even know anything happened to me except I have memory issues and arthritis. But I like to think I came out on top in this situation


Was at school, about 8 years old. It was sports carnival day. I don’t know if they have that everywhere but it’s when the whole school spends the day competing in various sports. 

I was watching the other group play tee-ball. Next minute, hospital. I woke up feeling like I’d just had a dream that I was in an ambulance. 

Apparently I did briefly wake in the ambulance but not for long. I was thwacked in the forehead with a flying metal bat, had a massive abrasion which turned into the oddest scab you’d ever seen, like a unicorn had his horn lopped off. 

Still have a scar there where my skull cracked and healed with a kind of divot in it.

I was shot in the stomach at about two feet away by a guy who had the gun in his backpack.

He was in the process of robbing a store when I walked in, and I didn’t see it happening as he had the gun hidden. A lot of other people in the store didn’t know either. 

I asked him if he was in line, because he was kind of to the side, and he turned and fired. I don’t remember anything from after entering the store. The rest I’ve had pieced together.

He shot me three times, hitting mostly muscle, but also one kidney. I’m entirely fine today, but that was a fairly alarming realization of how close I came.

He was acting pretty aggressive and when I started to come out for behind the bar to escort him out, he threw his bar glass at he.

I closed the bar down about an hour later. As I was walking out the back door, there he was, about 10 feet from me and still pissed off that I had tossed him out.

That’s the last thing I remember. All the other details came from my girlfriend who had called 911 and saw the whole thing go down.

I blacked out, when I came to I had been told that I had been stabbed 5x and had the top of my ear cut off. I was in local hospital getting staples/stitches and waiting to be transported to other hospital to have my ear reattached.

Right before I was about to be transported, the police came into the emergency room and told me they found the guy. 

He still had the bloody knife in his pocket and a bunch of prescription drugs in his hotel room.

My mother, sister, girlfriend (at the time) and three best friends found me locked in my car screaming ‘i want to die.’ One of them managed to get into the car with me and restrained me until the police turned up and arrested me and took me to hospital. That was four years ago, still alive and now I work in a warehouse near home and iI honestly appreciate life and love my life so much more than I used to…


Went out partying with my friends, fished my 5th in about an hour and blacked out. Turns out I was all over the place and the are photos of me just chilling in some bush like they were a recliner. Got back to campus, RA heard my throw up at like 2 am, calls campus security and they call an ambulance. Woke up in the hospital not in my clothes, nurse came in said “oh, you’re awake,” and walked out. Doctor walks in 30 minutes later and tells me I’m good to go and that there is a cab outside waiting for me. No one explained what had happened or if they had done anything to me, very bizarre. Didn’t know what had actually happened until my friends explained later.


I was riding my motorcycle home from class and woke up in a CT scan. Apparently I had a high side crash and broke my collarbone, punctured my lung, had a severe concussion and a bunch of bad road rash. I don’t really remember getting on my bike to be honest.


Was sick for the last week, woke up feeling dizzy, called mum to tell her I’m not good for school just yet, went to sleep and woke up 5 days after in the hospital. They told me I had some kind of an infection but they didn’t know what and had to put me in a coma. Good thing is my life changed for the better that day and every day since then gets better because now I know how short life is and how lucky I am, as it was a recovery the doctors didn’t expect.


Fell asleep on a Thursday night and woke up Saturday in ICU. Apparently, Friday morning, I woke up to use the bathroom and my roommate found me collapsed in the hallway and called 911. Turns out my blood sugar level was 780 and I had excessive ammonia in my blood along with my white count being 37.7. Went into Diabetic Ketoacidocis. Am now an insulin dependent type II diabetic.


For me it happened when I was 12. I woke up in the hospital and discovered that I had broken both of my wrists at the same time and had cut up my whole face. It was pretty shocking to see when I went to the bathroom and passed by the mirror.


I woke up in the hospital one day after bicycling with 4 friends on road racers. I got hit by a woman driving while using her phone, she crossed her side of the road. The driver did not have a driver licence. I cold not remember any of these detail, but they where told by my friend riding just in front of me, avoiding collision by going off the edge of the road. (We were using road racers and I was less than 1 meter behind him.)

I was lucky as I was knocked down in the grass, 5 meters further ahead and I would’ve hit rocks. My body was made of rubber at the time, so I got no fractures just the seat attachment to the bike up my tighs and all of my left side mostly blue.

The lady was fined 1000$ and I got compensation of my the ruined bike.


My brother and I were outside playing with squirt guns (this was 2001 so I would have been 11). 

Next thing I know it’s Easter Sunday, I was in a hospital bed with a massive headache and blurred vision and the last thing I remembered was 4 days ago. 

Apparently I fell backwards and smacked my dome on the curb hard enough to fracture my skull and bruise my brain. Got 2 weeks off of school, which was cool back then, and I’ve had to wear glasses ever since. 

Apparently, according to my mom, the first sign of consciousness in the hospital was me getting out of bed, taking a piss on the floor, and then going back to sleep for two more days. The whole thing was a weird experience.


I hopped into the back of a mate’s pickup after a rugby game, went to sleep and woke up in ICU in traction with no feeling from my waist down. 

Turns out we had a head-on collision with a drunk driver and I went through the back of the cab, picking up a host of broken body parts including four compressed vertebrae. A year and a number of surgeries later, I walked out of hospital an inch shorter and with enough metal in me to set off metal detectors at airports.

I was the lucky one, the other three guys in the truck never woke up afterwards. Twenty years and it still gets me.

Suddenly, it’s two days later and I’m strapped to a hospital bed. 

Apparently I was hit by a Mitsubishi 3000 GT. The kid driving it was coming from a rave, high as a kite, and thought I was an angel in my reflective gear. 

He tried to catch me with his bumper.

Fun times.