Your big wedding day should be a drama-free time to celebrate your unity with your spouse…but sometimes things don’t always go as planned. These folks share the petty thing that went down on their wedding day.
The Worst Father-In-Law Ever.
“My friend got married two years ago, and the bride’s father was an absolute prick. He never liked his daughter’s fiance, even though he’s a great guy. For her bachelorette party, she and a bunch of friends went to Las Vegas. Her parents came along too (they would hang out during the day and leave them alone to party at night). Apparently, her parents tried to talk her into not marrying him the whole trip.
I was in the bridal party and the dad was a grumpy slouch the whole time. I honestly wanted to pull him aside and tell him to not be so mean but decided that would just make things worse, there was just no reasoning with this grumpy turd of a human.
The wedding day goes off without a hitch, except for the dad being a Debbie-downer the whole time. During the afterparty, I’m walking out of the bathroom and happened to be walking behind my friend and his now father-in-law. My friend puts his arm around his father-in-law, smiles at him, and asks ‘Does this mean I can call you dad now?’ in a half-joking sort of way.
He doesn’t even look at him, lets out a stern ‘No.’ and walks away in the other direction.
He then proceeded to cut people off from drinking who weren’t even tipsy yet, yell at me when I was trying to get a couple of drinks from the bar, and then shuts down the bar and kick everyone out early.
You know it’s a great wedding when everyone is standing outside, waiting for cabs, talking about how much of an a-hole the father-in-law is.”
Yeah, You DO NOT Say That At A Wedding.
“My mother, the drunkard that she was, tried desperately to ruin my wedding. She simply didn’t like that I was marrying and who I was marrying. At first, she wasn’t coming, then she was, then she was running late (LITERALLY stopped to buy a case of Bud) and then got into an accident, asking me to postpone things until she could get there. I’m sure the accident wasn’t her fault, but the rest was her usual passive-aggressive nonsense.
So, the wedding goes as it goes, it was a nice day despite her acting the way she did.
My wife had previously been married to an abusive spouse. She had left him for an abuse shelter. He lured her home with the promise she could get some clothes for their 3-year-old old daughter. He took them hostage, and there was an actual standoff with the police. In the end, she got out of the house, with her daughter, and when the police entered the home they shot him.
So flash forward four years to 2001, and my wife’s ex-mother-in-law had been invited to the wedding. She was actually a nice woman, but had been abused by her husband (these things go in cycles, they say.)
Something about the photos upset my mother, and she was tipsily leaving the reception. I found out a few weeks later that on the way out the door she pulled the wife’s ex-MIL aside and said to her:
‘Don’t worry, she isn’t going to Kill MY Son as she did yours.’
That, my friends, was the final straw, cut that cancer out of my life then and there. I simply don’t need that in my life. Such hate.
She’s gone now, the world is a better place.”
She’s A Snake Alright!
“Let me begin by telling you that this was not the first marriage for my EX-best friend or myself. She got married for the third time a year before I got married for the second time. At her wedding, I was not only the matron of honor, but I also did a great deal of the footwork for her planning and directed this very small wedding (less than 20 people involved including attendees).
I also did her hair and makeup and even paid for her daughter’s bridesmaids’ dress (even though I was far from able to afford anything extra). So when it was time to plan my wedding, I fully expected her to be involved. I explained to her that because I have a daughter and younger sister that I’m extremely close to (my sister introduced me to my now husband), I wanted them to be my maid and matron of honor but wanted her to stand up with me.
She was fine with that but asked that since she has severe anxiety disorder was there something else she could do to be involved that didn’t require her to stand up in front of people. I was happy that she asked because I needed somebody to basically handle the reception, put the food out before the end of the ceremony, and make sure the platters stayed full. Bear in mind that my mom, my sister and daughter, and myself would have everything set up ahead of time, all she would have to do would be to take the food out of the refrigerator and put it on the tables before everybody got in the reception hall. She readily agreed. It kept her from having to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers, and still had her involved which I desperately wanted, I mean this was my BEST FRIEND (outside of family!)!
So everything is planned and set in place, I talked to her several times the night before the wedding, me excited, nervous, and bouncing off the walls, and her seemingly excited, too. We confirmed the time for her to be there the next day several times with her even calling me one last time to check and confirm before heading off to bed.
The morning of the big day comes, finally, and I’m up early due to excitement and nerves and wanting to get everything just right. I headed out early to get my hair and makeup done and as I’m heading back to the church, a little over an hour before the ceremony is to start, and five minutes before my ex-best friend was to be at the church, I receive a call from her husband and because I was driving, I couldn’t answer it, but he did leave a message. When I got to the church it seems that she was ‘down in the back,’ and wouldn’t be able to make it.
His excuse for waiting until five minutes before time to be there was that they had hoped it would get better and she could come, so they waited until time to start setting out some of the food to decide not to come so that even if she had decided to come at that point she would have missed most of the ceremony because she had obviously not started getting ready or anything. I tried to be understanding of the fact that somehow she had hurt her back and was in pain and I wouldn’t have wanted her to try to do anything if she were hurting that badly. I even sent her a text saying as much and that I hoped it wasn’t anything major. I had a little harder time being understanding of the fact that she waited until five minutes before I needed her to be there to call and then have her husband call rather than have enough respect for me and our friendship to call herself.
But when I got on social media the next day to post some wedding and honeymoon pictures what do I see, but a post by her with pictures of her and several other people out around a bonfire in her backyard, drinking, laughing, and dancing. Her back made a miraculous recovery fairly quickly after I got the voicemail from her husband. I very cooly and formally commented that I was glad to see that her back was better. This led to a barrage of texts with ridiculous excuses that made no sense. Being on my honeymoon and having better things to do, I politely ‘blessed her heart’ (translation ‘F.U.!! I am a southern lady after all!) And blocked her! Who needs friends who only love you when they need something!”
This Took A Heck Of A Turn.
“Nothing particularly disrespectful happened during our wedding unless you count my husband’s aunt and her family turning up in shorts and t-shirts because they were coming to the wedding en route to their holiday. I may never have noticed but of my mother-in-law’s comments about it – she was very offended.
The disrespect happened before the wedding. In the few weeks preceding our wedding, my sister nearly derailed the whole thing. Her daughter was going to be one of my bridesmaids. My sister and I were not close because of something she thought I had done when our mother died, but she was family and I wanted her there. Unfortunately, she was in an on/off relationship with a man who treated her very badly, beating her to the point of causing serious internal injuries and the maxillo-facial surgeon told her that if her cheekbones got broken again he would not be able to fix it. I definitely did not want this man at my wedding and I do not believe that he wanted to be there; my sister, however, decided to take offense at my refusal to invite him and said that if he wasn’t invited then she wasn’t coming and if she wasn’t coming then my niece would not be my bridesmaid. She then took her complaints to my close friend who was helping me to organize my wedding and whose daughter who was the same age as my niece was another bridesmaid. She put my friend in a challenging position and in the end, she said that if my niece wasn’t going to be a bridesmaid she didn’t feel she could let her daughter be one either. At this point, I seriously considered eloping! It was unbelievably stressful and I had no other family who could talk to my sister but I knew my mother, who had died just a few years previously, would have squared her up in no time, which added to the sadness I felt that my mother wasn’t going to be at my wedding.
In the end, just a couple of weeks before the wedding this man beat her up again and she ended up in the hospital I was working in. I went down to see her and made a comment about ‘and this the man you want me to invite to my wedding. . .’ at which point she said no, she didn’t, she could finally understand why I didn’t want him there. I was very relieved but sad that it had taken this to change her mind.”
Plenty Of Drama At This Wedding.
“At my wedding, a female friend of my husband’s came up to me and told me about two guests who she overheard in the ladies’ room at the wedding, talking about what a hag I was for not inviting certain people. The friend didn’t even know who they were, but the way she described them I was able to figure out that it was the wife and daughter of a cousin of my husband.
The really, really stupid part is that I was being so accommodating that had I known that they wanted those two individuals invited, I honestly would have gladly invited them. I had never met them and did not have their address, which is amazing that these guests didn’t even think of that. If it was that big of a deal, why even come? They had certainly made other comments beforehand about who they refused to sit with, and I accommodated that. These are people to whom I was beyond gracious, had always been really nice, and thought that we were fine with each other. Oh, by the way, the friend told them off for good. She told them that she was there because she cared about both people getting married.
Another guy, who was the next-door neighbor of my MIL, SCREAMED at me when we returned from picture taking, that we had taken ‘too long.’ Um, okay, who asked you? He said that we had missed the whole happy hour (oh, you mean the thing that was created for the guests, so that the bridal party and families could take pictures? Yeah, ok).
There are other things, but they all, unfortunately, had to do with my MIL’s side of the family (nothing from friends, my side, or my FIL’s side, they were all normal). I did not and do not get why, if you hate a bride so much, you would attend the wedding. They did me NO favors by attending all events just to whine and moan. The purpose of the wedding is to get married, you invite people to celebrate with you because they are happy for you, or at least like you. It’s not about anything being perfect, from the guest list to flowers to whatever. At least, that’s what I was naïve enough to believe.”
Judgemental AND Rude.
“We married two days after Thanksgiving many moons ago. My soon-to-be in-laws (including my husband’s six siblings) came to town on Thanksgiving morning so that our two families could celebrate the holiday together. And my mother had been quite excited about putting them all up in their home. To prepare she had been cleaning and cooking for two weeks, freezing many meals in anticipation of hosting the large family – on top of preparing a huge T-Day feast.
Then came the morning after Thanksgiving . . . Mom was home with husband-to-be’s Protestant minister father [important later] and daughter-of-a-minister mother, along with my Grandmother and Great Aunt. The In-laws, I learned much later, decided they were going to convert the three women of the house over morning coffee.
At it, they went, but not to tell my family of God’s love for them. Instead, they pointedly trashed the Catholic Church, knowing full well that my father and Great Aunt were committed Catholics. And this was in my folks’ own home! Who does that??? Rude, self-righteous morons, that’s who.
Their message would have attracted no one, my Grandmother later related. It was purely negative. Moreover, she said, they left my poor Great Aunt devastated and confused as to what and in whom she should believe thereafter. And their ‘blessing’ to my mother? When neither she nor the other women converted, MIL decided it was time to go.
They packed up and unceremoniously left to stay with a daughter in her college dorm two hours away until the wedding was to take place. Guess how offended my mother was! Fortunately, considering my Dad had a bad heart, Dad was out for his morning swim when the In-laws did their dirty work. He wasn’t subjected to something that would have enraged him. And I think the rest never told him what took place.
Months later, my apparently still devastated Great Aunt wept when she read a birthday card I sent her in which I simply wrote in my P.S., ‘Remember Aunt M, Jesus loves you.’ My Grandma was there to witness her reaction. Such a simple message, the one that makes all the difference, was something my in-laws didn’t have it in themselves to give.
The fun continued on our actual wedding day.
My in-laws had their ‘back stories,’ to be sure. FIL’s own father had been a falling-down, passing-out wasted. MIL had been raised in a small Midwest town where ranch hands would come into town occasionally, get loaded, and commit violent acts, including murder. So, to be fair to them, they had good reasons for being against hitting the bottle.
However, on the day of OUR wedding, most of our guests were friends from college. For that reason, MY parents – who hosted and footed the bill for the reception – made sure beverages were available. And no one got wasted. But when my in-laws discovered the situation, they were incensed. Their reaction? They immediately lined up my husband’s siblings and themselves at the buffet, dished up their meals, inhaled them, and without so much as a civil good-bye to us (or anyone else, as far as I know), vacated the premises and headed home.
Ruder, more classless people couldn’t have been found to attend OUR big day. And they back-stabbed us for years over this ‘offense.’ Only when I confronted them years later with the fact that Jesus created a huge volume of very good vino for people to party and celebrate another wedding (at Cana), and asked them if they really thought they could outdo Jesus in virtue, did they finally get off their self-righteous jag about it.
Instead, they came up with volumes of other ‘offenses’ to knife us in our backs about for decades to come.”
He Brought Security To His Wedding.
“My father called right before the ceremony started and stated that ‘I’ll die before I let you marry that floozy.’
You see, Dad had issues with my taste in brides. She was rude because she dared to disagree with him. She was disrespectful because she thought she was equal to him. In short, Dad was a prick. I told him in no uncertain terms to leave me the heck alone. A lazy lay-about, deadbeat dad had no right of choice in my life. I told him to show up and do something. I had five groomsmen who looked like the offensive line for the Bears. I wasn’t worried. Well, Dad didn’t show. I married the woman of my dreams. We have been married for almost 10 years now. Dad died alone. Not the happiest ending, but you take what you can get.”
He Had To Set A Boundary Straight.
“When my wife and I got married, just about a year ago, there was one issue, and it wasn’t a major problem, but it was one of the few times I actually told someone off at just the right time, and in just the right way.
Terri was part of a local community and had a pleasant and sunny disposition, but could be quite manipulative and had hurt a number of people without understanding what she was doing. (Yes, she needs therapy – I know of at least one venue that has made it clear she’s unwelcome there because of her behavior and lack of respect for other people’s boundaries.)
I pretty much would say, ‘Hi,’ and ignore her when I could, but I didn’t want to actually block her on Facebook or do anything that would make her decide she wanted to go after me or my wife, or start playing any of her manipulative games.
For our wedding, we invited only family and close friends and even hired a friend, Shelly, as the photographer. The wedding was on our lot, not far from our newly built house. By intent, and due to a lot of effort, the lot and our home are secluded and private.
One day Terri starts up a conversation with me in Facebook Messenger. It was bogus and lead to this:
Terri: ‘Ok. Thank you. I hope to see your beautiful house one day.‘
Terri, with her boundary issues, was someone we had decided, from the start, would never be invited into our home space – or anywhere on our 24 acres of woods and field. Never. I brushed her comment off, which lead to:
Terri: ‘I hope I’m on your wedding list.‘
Again, I brushed it off, talking about only a very large family and a few friends being invited. No response from her at all.
After the wedding, we posted some photos on our Facebook timelines. In one of the photos, taken by a relative, Shelly was visible, but it wasn’t clear that she had her camera with her. Terri commented on that picture, ‘You said only relatives were invited. I didn’t know Shelly was a cousin. lol.‘
At this point, I couldn’t believe Terri had written that.
I deleted her comment on the post, sent her a message on FB Messenger, then blocked her. (At that time, if you sent a final message, then blocked it, they could still see it.) I don’t like doing that, since it’s kind of childish, but this was one time I felt it was quite warranted.
This was one of those few times I gave someone a brush off, saying what I wanted, dropping the issue in their lap, and feeling like I didn’t respond in anger, but walked away having set things straight without overreacting.
‘Terri,
I am quite disturbed by your recent comments on one of my posts, asking if Shelly was a cousin. Even if it’s a joke, honestly, there is no reason that is a concern of yours.
In the first place, it is terribly inappropriate to ask for, or hint, at getting invitations to visit someone’s home or for a special event they are planning. A person’s home is their private space and it’s up to them to invite those they want to share it with. It’s not up to others to ask for or hint at getting invitations. The same is true about a private and deeply personal event like a wedding.
When you brought up an invitation to our home and then an invitation to the wedding, I was shocked. It put me on the spot in a way I should never had had to deal with. It was an extremely inconsiderate and even rude thing to ask. It was an intrusion into my personal life in a way that most people in our culture realize is extremely inappropriate.
Our home is our private space. It’s over 1,500 feet off the road, back in the woods, and that’s for privacy. Our wedding was there because we wanted to keep it private for only family and close friends. That you can ask for invitations is a violation of privacy and personal space, an invasion of sorts, and that you can do this without seeing it as an imposition is the very reason you have not been invited to our private sanctuary.
It’s also the very reason I am no longer comfortable sharing parts of my life on Facebook with you.‘
I sent it and it worked. She has avoided us and hasn’t tried to engage us or play any of her manipulation games since I sent this. It’s so pleasant to see her walking away or trying to avoid us and knowing we won’t even have to say, ‘Hi,’ to her if we’re both at the same event.”