Tinder has led to some of the most triumphant and unfortunate hookup stories in modern history.
Below are some of the best…or the worst stories. Check them out!
1. So many thoughts about this one…
My friend hooked up with this stripper with half a shaved head and facial tattoos. She told him that she had been smoking meth all morning and that she had a boyfriend. My friend said it was the best sex he’s ever had in his entire life.
chronicandrails
2. 0 to 100 real quick.
Hooked up with a girl who turned out to be a sister of a friend, like one of those sorority sister things. We saw Frozen. She called me later that night trashed and asked me to pick her up. Took her to her house. She asked me to stay. Tried to get me to snort cocaine off her breasts. As in, asked me, “Wanna do cocaine off my breasts?”
[deleted]
3. Could it be love?
I started chatting with the hottest girl ever. No lying, she is definitely be the most attractive girl I will ever hook up with in my life.
Finally went over to her place at 3am one night. I couldn’t believe how hot she was. I literally lasted 16 seconds. Needless to say, she wasn’t impressed. One does not simply perform well with a girl that fucking hot.
Anyway, she was kind of a terrible person and since I’m also kinda terrible, I fell head over heels in love. She stopped contacting me after I…(Continued)
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I blacked out one night and kept texting her mean things.
Didn’t talk to her for months until she texted me saying I should get checked for chlamydia. I only saw her once afterwards, we made out in the street for like five minutes before her friends dragged her away. All my friends think she’s crazy and all her friends think I’m crazy, so it’s probably true love.
charbok
4. Stick it to the man!
Got drunk, liked everyone, went to sleep. Woke up, zero matches, deleted it in a fit of hung over anger.
I am sexy and I know it, and ain’t no app gonna tell me otherwise.
DarthRoach
5. That’s…not the hookup we were looking for.
I chatted a girl up that had a nice dresser in one of her pics. I needed a dresser for my new house. She ended up selling it to me for $10. That was a good hookup.
Ahnylenater
6. Smoothest. Pickup Line. EVER!
During university last year me and my buddies downloaded tinder. I swiped right nonstop for a weekend and got about 300 matches & messaged all the attractive ones with various pickup lines. I had two one night stands as a result of this and coincidentally it was the same line that worked on both:
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“Sit on my face and I’ll eat my way to your heart <3.”
rick288
7. But you did get to pay Settlers of Catan.
Oh boy! Back in January I started using it and was matched with a girl who happened to also be in engineering at the same school as me. We started talking and next thing I knew we had gone on a few dates and everything was going great.
A few days later I had a stats midterm, and while studying I got a text from her saying, “Hope your midterm goes well! Why don’t you come over for board games after?” Now I’m usually pretty oblivious, but “board games”? on a Friday night? Yeah, I’m getting laid.
So I finish my midterm, text her that I’m on my way and hop on a bus. The entire bus ride I’m smiling from ear to ear, waiting patiently until I finally arrive around 9:30pm.
I entered her place and bam, bottle of wine on the table. Yeah, I’m getting laid. I go and sit down, we start drinking and BAM! Settlers of Catan. We played for 2 hours. She hugs me goodnight and I leave. I didn’t get laid.
kimjongmi
8. The Tinder Hole.
I totally suck at Tinder. Met a girl for a one night stand. Four months later, we’re getting on a plane to go on holiday together. Amateur.
twoverend
9. Highest quality dates.
The first person I met on Tinder peed on me. The second one called me the next day and accused me of drugging him at the bar. This was especially weird because he left alone without even saying goodbye to me. The third met me for lunch and was actively swiping on Tinder matches during the meal.
Ironically, I am still using Tinder.
meeegan
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10. Top quality.
I went out to get drinks with a girl. I proceeded to admit that I was completely broke and we would have to split the drinks. She not only paid for those drinks, but then paid for the food we later ate, more drinks, and gave me a quality BJ at the end of the night.
Spodayy
11. Just a sweet gal.
I met a girl and we met up for drinks. We talked for a while and eventually ended up going to a late lunch.
We texted for a couple days and ended up going out again, and she took me back to her place. Easily one of the best times of my life. She’s a sweet girl, I hope to see her again soon when our schedule matches up again.
0ut0f1deas
12. The ol’ switcheroo!
I’m an identical twin. My brother was visiting me at school and I invited a girl I met on tinder over. He doesn’t use Tinder, but obviously didn’t want to be alone for the night so I used the app to get him a girl too.
She thought he was me the entire time all the way up until she left the next morning. Right before she left she asked my brother a question about my rugby team that he just couldn’t answer. I got some angry messages afterwards.
whyme427
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13. I’m not one to brag, but…
My buddy just told me his story last week. Apparently he had it for a while and got nothing. His first hook up was some really cute girl (showed me pics) that was somehow in the sports industry. She got them special access to a game then they went to a party at somebody’s uber expensive apartment (rooftop garden in NYC, in the millions). He got a BJ in the bathroom. He is not the guy to brag, but it was over the top enough that he had to share the story.
geekworking
14. It makes for a great story.
I recently started using Tinder and happened to get pretty damn lucky with the first girl I actually met up with. We met and got ice cream and did some making out and stuff the first time, and again another time, but the third time was quite a different story. She and I met at a bar that I usually go to on Wednesday nights (my friends work there and they have a great special called group therapy). At some point she told me that she was pretty inexperienced and wanted a good story if we were going to hook up. Somehow we ended up going to a lake in the middle of campus and found a secluded spot where we did it for almost 2 hours. Inexperience apparently did little to affect her enthusiasm, and it did end up being a damn good story. Plan on seeing her again.
bluepheonixia
15. Yikes…
I was reluctant to go when she asked me out cause I’d never met anyone from online before. We ended up hooking up and all that, which was nice, but on my ride home she called me. Not once. Not twice. But…
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But thrice. Then she texted me. I feel asleep and woke up with 7 text messages and quite a few snapchats from her. I attempted to break it off nicely and politely inform her I wasn’t looking to date or anything, but she wasn’t really having it. I ended up insulting her until she said I was the biggest dick alive and stopped texting me. 3/10… Would probably still do it again.
Neilio_Knarf
16. Let it go…let it go.
I met a up with a girl so we could watch Frozen together.
We actually watched Frozen together. She was disappointed and I was mesmerized, I’d never seen that stuff before.
Systemizer
17. ‘The Tinder Girl’.
My buddy used it, found a girl, and they’ve been dating since around Easter. They have a totally normal relationship, except that we call her “Tinder Girl.”
DickJustic
18. Thank you, Tinder!
I matched up with a 40 year old recently single female (and me in my mid twenties). We met up at a bar, had a drink and ended up making out in the parking lot. A few nights later we met up at her place and watched a movie. Of course, we didn’t really watch the movie. She gave the best blowjob I’ve ever had in my life and was a squirter. So, thanks Tinder.
brainkandy87
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19. No regrets here!
Got talking to a girl on there, we met up for drinks and it turned out to be the best date I’ve ever been on, we just talked all night and ended with a kiss… I walked her home and then we text each other till we both fell asleep. It was like being 16 again or something. The next time I saw her I got a blowjob whilst we watched Titanic…
We dated for 2 months or so and she was great, as was the sex. We wanted different things relationship wise so things didn’t last long but absolutely no regrets on my part. Bless Tinder I say.
[deleted]
20. Who knows what the future holds?
Disclosure that I’m bi, but predominantly fool around with guys. I was in a opposite sex mood or something so found a girl on there. Good sense of humor, personality, that sort of thing. We wound up meeting up, hooking up… aaaand then kind of kept up with that frequently for weeks, then months, and so on.
Guess what’s annoying is that she was a perfect match for me. We were both well educated, I was finishing my JD, she had a double major and was getting into a Masters program. So we were both goal/career oriented, both into sports, we loved the same jokes, just… a scary perfect match.
So, great sex, cool set of friends, she cooks well (I cook too but I’m part Caribbean and she is not a fan of spicy food and cooking without curry is foreign to me), our political views are different enough that we can still have a good discussion.
And then I finished law school and went to take the bar in another state. I’m off and on sitting around just wondering what the fuck am I doing and if I should just keep it going or what. She’s honestly the first and currently only person in my life that I genuinely thought was marry worthy.
drazgoth
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21. Listen to your parents.
I’m probably late to the party but I’ll share because my tinder story is terrible, and that’s what we’re all here to see.
I matched with this really cute girl, all of her pictures were professionally done, like senior pictures. We texted for a few days and she seemed alright, not exactly interesting or funny but, as any sane male using tinder, I wasn’t looking for anything more than a hookup.
One night she invited me to pick her up, because she was sneaking out of her house. I agreed and drove to her neighborhood to meet her. I called her when I was at the gate and she sounded funny. Thought nothing of it and waited for her to come out.
She rounds the corner walking kinda funny, and wearing weird clothes, like clothes a 12 year old girl would wear. (we’re both 19) She gets in my car and she’s kinda making a funny face. As she reached to hold my hand without saying hello, it hit me. This girl had a mental disability.
Her little brother came running around the corner yelling telling her to come back because their parents were gonna go crazy. She yelled back out of my open window, “It’s ok, I’m with my boyfriend. He’s gonna take care of me.” I crap my pants. I calmly told her she should probably go with her brother but she wouldn’t let go of my hand. After some convincing she went back with her brother and I sped the fuck out of there.
She called me about 20 times, texted me saying she needed me because her parents were going mental being mad at her. I sent one text back saying she should listen to them and not sneak out any more and never texted her again.
She still texts me to this day inviting me to go places with her family as her boyfriend, and I never reply.
Now I Skype everyone before I meet them in person.
BlueEyed7
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22. Get in, get out.
Gonna go ahead and share my deepest sexual regret.
I generally just used tinder as something to do when I’m bored, judge some random people based on their looks and see if they think I’m attractive as well. I rarely ever messaged girls I was matched with, and if I did it was usually a joke
I was sending out some some messages and one girl ended up replying, I don’t recall the pickup line but I think it was a pretty vulgar one, and she pretty much replied and said she was down, and we could meet up the next day to hook up
Now I was a little sketched out obviously, but I’m not exactly the most wholesome guy, and I’m no stranger to random hookups, so screw it, might as well. She wanted to meet in the morning, before she had to go to work, which I thought was pretty weird, but whatever, easy pussy.
Now in her tinder profile, she really wasn’t too bad, wasn’t too hot, but do-able. I pull up to her place that morning to pick her up, and my heart sinks, and she’s much different than her pictures. She’s a bit bigger, and had a face like Gary Busey.
My first reaction is to run, put the car in drive and peel out of there and get out while I still can, but i was frozen. I may be a heartless asshole, but even I’m not bad enough to do that, drive off immediately after seeing her, imagine how bad she would feel.
She gets in the car, i struggle to make some small talk, and we drive out into the country to do the deed. It was an incredibly awkward drive, but i eventually found a spot to park and we went at it.
I’m not exactly a sex god, but i’m usually not terrible either, but for whatever reason, I came after probably 30 seconds, something i hadnt done since my first time, which I was okay with, because it was over, i cant imagine what it woulda been like if i had to go longer
Anyway, we had the longest most awkward car ride back, i dropped her off at her house, and went back to my dorm, where i immediately stripped down, hopped in the shower, and sat down and cried for a minute or two. We obviously never spoke again
I’ve had a lot of random hookups, none ever effected me like that
Tinder, never again
eaclark2
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23. Not the puppies, please!
I matched a girl on there and we talked and flirted and eventually exchanged numbers. We texted for a few days, became Facebook friends, Skype’d once, then made plans to hangout. She had a puppy that I told her to bring because puppies, and she drove the hour to see me. She looked nothing like she did in any of her pictures or even when we Skype’d, she was a different person. and he puppy was just a piece of crap untrained mutt. I tried to make the best of it, so we left to go buy some cookie dough and when we got back my roommate was outside, panting and super sweaty. I asked what he was doing and he said her dog ran out the door as soon as it was opened and he had been chasing it. I start freaking out at this point cause I though this girls dog had rain away and I didn’t know what to do but fortunately my roommate had caught her. He tells me I need to go inside and look in my room though and to not touch her dog cause it was covered in crap.
I walk inside and my entire apartment smelled like poop, the dog had jumped all over my couch and had gotten shit all over it, I go into my bedroom and the dog had shit and rolled in the shit ALL OVER MY BED. At this point I figured I was going to murder this dog and eat this catfish-er girl, but I realized it was easier to eat the dog and kill her. So I grab my 9 from the closet and… just kidding. But after seeing how destroyed my apartment was from this tiny animal the girl started crying and got real upset and felt awful and I felt bad that she wasn’t having a good time, I mean I did invite her to come over and do something with me, so we cleaned everything up and made the cookies and sat down and watched a movie. After things had clammed down long enough, she motions toward my bedroom and I follow. Her dog follows us, jumps back onto my bed and pees in the middle of it. I had literally no reaction at this point and just cleaned it the best I could. What happened next was the greatest blow job I had ever received. I’m not sure if she was trying to make up for everything, but damn this girl gave me 199%, I didn’t know what was going on. We passed out and she left around 9 the next morning.
I haven’t spoken to her since.
besidesthat