Hotel cleaners have a tough job on their hands: they have to spruce up an entire hotel room on a tight schedule, and if a single thing is out of place, most guests will notice it. What's more, when a guest checks out of their room, you never know what kind of mess you're going to have to clean up when you walk in.
It may not be surprising to learn that these cleaners have found some pretty outrageous things over the years!
(Content has been edited for clarity)
Hm, I Wonder Why He Wanted That Room So Badly
“I’m not a housekeeper, but I work the front desk. The head of housekeeping told me that cops came to our hotel because we found a bag of blow the size of six D batteries hidden inside of a clock radio.
It’s funny because some other guy called in three days later who was deadset on reserving that exact room. When we told him what happened, he immediately changed his mind and canceled his reservation. He must have been disappointed.”
A Reward For His Kindness
“I’m not in housekeeping, but I work at a hotel. Once, a few years ago, a guest checked out and left the safe locked. We popped it open and found handcuffs, sensual beads, and a couple of plugs.
I was somewhat annoyed that I had to act as a witness for the safe opening (It is hotel protocol always to have a witness when opening safes). I decided to call the guest and leave a voicemail to ask if he wanted to pick these up later or have us toss them. He called back immediately to claim them and said he’d be back to the hotel soon. He walked in an hour later and claimed his items, and on his way out he tipped me $60 for calling to return his property.”
Must Have Been A Pet-Friendly Hotel
“Well, I’ve been in the hotel industry since 2001. I’m now at the executive level, but here are a few things I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with while in the industry.
1. Twenty pounds of pot left behind by an unstable man who had recently evaded his family’s attempts to have him institutionalized. There were also about a dozen perfectly organized bottles of soap.
2. Twelve dogs that had been set free on the top floor. It took us an hour to round them up in a banquet room.
3. An awful trip that caused a man to cut up ten ink pens with a razor blade and smear them over every surface.
4. One giant bag of assorted intimate toys left behind after a massive drag show.
5. One woman that drank too much handcuffed herself to the legs of the bed, and relieved herself. Everywhere. She was still like that when housekeeping walked in on her by accident. Her explanation: ‘I was waiting for someone!’
6. So many naked people. So many. Doing so many perverse things. Also? Many of them are celebrities.
7. Just one poor old man who died in his sleep.
8. Oh! And the room full of hair. As in, a group of four male athletes of some sort (I can’t recall) decided to shave their heads and bodies completely. Every surface was covered, and it took the professionals two trips to clean the drains.
I could write a book, honestly.
Also, most hotels now triple-sheet their beds. There isn’t anything except for the decorative throws at the bottom that don’t get washed each time. I’d welcome anyone to black-light my hotel.”
Am I Living In A Horror Movie?
“This thread was big two weeks ago, but whatever. Here’s the lovely goodness that I found:
When I was 14, I worked as a housekeeper for a little hotel during the summer. Y’all are nasty. I’ve cleaned up rubbers, puke, and crap in the room, as well as in the bathroom.
The most horrifying thing I’ve ever come across still freaks me out to this day. I pulled back the blanket on the bed to discover the bed was ENTIRELY stained with blood. It soaked in EVERYWHERE. Now I’m trying to breathe calmly, and not hyperventilate, knowing that I am about to find a foot or a head in this bedding somewhere. There was nothing. I go to the bathroom, which was relatively clean, and start working there. I open the ice bucket to check if it’s been used. It is filled to the brim with completely soaked, bloody pads. Disgusting. I mean, I’m a woman, and I know women bleed, but there was SO MUCH BLOOD. And why would you put your ravaged pads in the ice bucket, where people put their drinks?
I had to clean the whole thing out, and as soon as I tipped it over to try and shake the whole mess out, blood started pouring out of the bucket. I hope this woman, whoever she is, is ok.”
Got Any Spare Change?
“I cleaned this room with over $45 in pennies EVERYWHERE!! I’m talking EVERYWHERE!! Even stuck in the door frame and baseboards, under the bed frame, all over. The hotel vacuum wouldn’t suck them up, so I had to hand-pick every last one.
Also, I once walked into the cleanest room ever – the bed was untouched, and nothing had been used, not even a towel. Even the toilet paper was still folded in a triangle. So on my way through checking, I notice something pink in the bathroom garbage. I just immediately picked it up, not wearing gloves and not even thinking.
It was a GIANT HOT PINK INTIMATE TOY… I was expecting a bottle of shampoo.”
He’s Done Putting Up With Your Crap
“Oh god, over the years I’ve found so many horrible, disgusting things. Beds full of rubbers. Beds full of blood. Beds full of crap. All that, mixed and matched. Garbage bins full of urine. Walls covered in boogers, like an ungodly amount of boogers. Bathtubs clogged with vomit. Bathtubs clogged with crap (for real). A lot of adult magazines. Intimate toys in drawers. Puddles of unidentified fluids. Used feminine products and pads all over the floor. Illegal substances. No dead bodies yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
And by the way, I don’t work in a crappy hotel. It’s a nice, fairly pricy place. People are just nasty.”
You Never Know What Doors Can Be Unlocked
“I’m not a housekeeper, but I lived in a hotel for a year. A few months after I moved out of the hotel, I was getting drinks with a girl. We were walking past the hotel, and I still had my key card in my wallet, so I decided to see if it still worked. I stuck the key card into the door, and the green light flashed, meaning it unlocked. The girl I was with freaked out, as she was worried that there’d be someone in the room, and then we’d have to explain why we just broke into a hotel room.
I turned the handle, and… the room was empty. So we spent the night there.
Whoever booked the room next, I’m so sorry.”
Don’t Look Up
“I dated a girl in college who worked at a local Holiday Inn. I went to pick her up one afternoon, and a guy pointed me down the hall to a room she was cleaning.
As I got closer, the smell made my nose hairs stand on end and I almost gagged right there. I pulled my shirt up over my face to keep from puking. She and her co-worker came out and simply said, ‘Those jerks!’
It turns out a couple was in the room and had left two used rubbers hanging over the top of the bed lights. The rubber had partially melted and cooked what was inside, which was the source of the god-awful smell.”
I’ll Have To Call You Back
“My sister works at a sort-of upscale hotel in Philadelphia, and my mom and I went down to visit her one day. My sister got us a room using her free stays for us. The one catch was we had to move rooms after the first night. No problem, we didn’t care.
Now, there had recently been a prom at the local high school, and a couple of teens had been staying in the room that we were using. We get into the room, and it wasn’t too messy; the beds needed to be made and that was about it, or so I thought. After we changed the sheets and remade the beds, I sat on the bed to call my sister, who was working at the front desk at the time and was about to end her shift. The phone felt weird, so after I talked to her and hung up, I looked at the phone. IT WAS DRENCHED IN URINE.
I have never been more grossed out in my life.”
He Just Couldn’t Help Himself
“I worked at a retirement home as a teenager – a summer job in the front office. When a resident would move out (i.e., pass away), the family would have a couple of days to collect their belongings. A lot of times, the person who died would have no family or no family that cared, so it would be the cleaning lady’s job to clear out the room and move anything possibly reusable into storage. That’s when they would ask for my help with the heavy stuff since I was one of only three or four males who worked in the building.
An old Russian general who lived in the place had died, and cleaning out his room was one messed up experience. Unlike any other time I’d helped, his room looked immaculate but smelt funky like you wouldn’t believe. As we were starting to take apart this huge display, we could hear strange scratching noises coming from his dresser. When we opened the drawers, we found all kinds of little cages full of different animals. There were mice in some of them, rats in others, at least a couple of different kinds of birds, and some chipmunks. Each one was in its cage, and each one had a little cue card in front of it with a name and description in Russian. I couldn’t read them, but the housekeeper who spoke Russian said they were names like ‘Sergeant Hopper’ and they had little stories about the wars the animals fought with each other. Some of them also had weird little medals attached to the cages.
I guess he was catching them and adding them to his army; I’m not sure. I know the residents weren’t supposed to have any animals, and this guy somehow had a dresser full of them that no one ever noticed. It was regrettable and weird.”
Go Ahead, Take The Pull Out Bed!
“I’m not a housekeeper, but this was still funny. I was fortunate growing up because my family went on some awesome vacations. Traveling with a family of five is never fun, especially since being the only girl, my brothers always fought to sleep on the bed or pull-out bed, and I got the cot.
In Steamboat, Colorado, my family stayed at the crappiest hotel, and I started fighting with my brothers because there was a bed, a sofa bed, and cot. My older brother got the bed, which meant my younger brother and I fought over who would get the sofa bed. He won. We went skiing all day and when it was time for bed he pulled out the sofa bed. I noticed that under the sofa bed was a nice, dried log of poop. I had no complaints about sleeping on the cot.
I told my younger brother the next day about the poop under his bed. He was furious. Almost ten years later, we still laugh about it.”
Behold The Satchel Of Happiness
“I’m not a housekeeper either, just a front desk guy.
1. One of the phone line operators got a call the other day and had to put in a lost-and-found report for three intimate toys in a velvet bag. I dubbed it ‘the satchel of happiness.’ It was an older gentleman who claimed them, and he was not bashful in the slightest because he demanded that we bust into the room he had stayed in (which was currently occupied).
2. There have been a couple of adult films shot at my old property, and the aftermath wasn’t as bad as I thought. There were maybe like six used rubbers and a few used hygiene products as well.
3. There were about five used diapers left in a room with a fair share of brown stains on the wall. The couple didn’t have any kids with them during the stay, however.
4. Once, a guest laid a log across the bench along the foot of the bed. It was about a foot long and was respectable in size.
5. We’ve had a guest steal one of the TVs out of his suite. He put one of our pillows in its place and wrote ‘TV’ in marker across it.
6. Finally, there was a guest who was making fake IDs, birth certificates, and other sensitive documents with an embossing machine in his hotel room. Considering that it was his trade, it baffled us that he forgot the embossing machine but remembered to steal a TV. He then called us back wanting to trade the TV for his machine.
Hospitality is an industry in which you always come home with a story.”
Dogs Have Been Birthed In This Room
“I used to do room service (delivering food). One time this couple was staying for a full week at our pet-friendly hotel. They had their dog stay too, which was perfectly fine – except no one knew the dog was pregnant.
Later, the dog had ten puppies in the hotel room. Blood soaked in the carpet, the bed sheets, everywhere. Sadly, one or two of the puppies didn’t make it, and they had to lay them to rest right outside of their hotel room.
That was one of the most emotional experiences I had at that job. Also, no one was able to stay in that hotel room for at least a month because of how long it took to clean it up.”
She Didn’t Expect A Reward
“I worked as a housekeeper a few years ago and was in charge of cleaning the rooms of the guests who stayed for weeks or months at a time. This woman was staying there for a few weeks, and we would talk every day. It turns out she was in town to try and convince her daughter, who was my age (19) and a substance user, to come home with her. I had had my problems with substances before having this job and ended up talking to her daughter and helping her to decide to go home with her mom.
I guess it had somehow come up in conversation with the mom that I was on my own, trying to fend for myself. Anyway, after she left, I was cleaning her room and found she left me the sweetest card with $160 in it.”
Where Did You Come From, Handsome?
“I cleaned dorms back when I was in college, and my weirdest moment was cleaning the shared bathroom on the senior’s floor. I walked in with my yellow gloves and apron, all ready to scrub the showers clean (after picking all the hair out first) when a guy burst out of one of the showers like his butt was on fire. He bolted down the hallway and hid inside one of the rooms.
For context, I went to an all-women’s college, so it was very rare to see a guy around on Sunday mornings. This particular guy was naked with a tiny pink towel in front of his junk as well. I was a little shocked but kept clean. It wasn’t until later that I saw this guy again, this time in just a pink bathrobe, bolt back in to grab all of his shampoo and stuff he’d left behind in his haste. He blushed, apologized, and explained he didn’t know where his clothes were. I told him I felt bad but had no idea either and he walked away. Gotta admit, though, DAT BUTT.”
That’s Why You Always Double Check When You Leave A Hotel Room
“Most recently, we found about $10,000 in counterfeit $100 bills. How did we know they were fake? Some of them hadn’t been cut out yet. They were pretty realistic though.
We contacted the police, and the person had called to get them back. The police were waiting, but the person didn’t show. I was disappointed.”
From A Little Creepy, To Very Creepy
“I used to be a manager of a small hotel. We once had an elderly guest who left crude magazines laid out everywhere, lots of them. The housekeeper complained she couldn’t clean the room because the magazines were covering everything.
Each magazine was left open and had sticky notes on all the pages on which he had written detailed notes about the pictures, and drew arrows and such as if he were studying them in depth. A little creepy, but not a real big deal at first.
Then, the next morning while she was cleaning, he came out from hiding in the bathroom right as she entered. He was wearing rubber gloves, carrying lotion and magic markers, and was trying to close the door on her. Luckily, we had taken precautions, so she got out, and he was promptly arrested. It turns out he did it because he thought he was on a mission from God.”
You Forgot Your Key To The City
“I managed the lost and found for a large four-star hotel for a few years. Amongst the gems:
- Several weapons. Usually left by federal agents, but not always.
- More intimate toys than you can imagine.
- A key to the city of Las Vegas.
- A rim from a late model BMW.
- A giant pair of scissors.
- An empty bag of Purina Cattle Chow.
- A dried turd… left in the room’s safe.
- An elaborate vaporizer kit in a Pelican travel case.
- Two pairs of handcuffs and a Lomo Fisheye camera left in a suite after an 18th birthday party.
- A giant, coffee can-sized tub of lubricant. (It had been barely used. Methinks someone overestimated the fun they’d be having in San Francisco.)”
No Rice For You Tonight, Pal
“I worked doing the front desk night audit. The weirdest thing that ever happened was when we had a smoke alarm go off at 3 a.m. in a room. I sent my security dude up there to check it out.
He said he knocked on the door repeatedly and there was no answer. Technically, we’re not allowed to open the door. But I think it was okay because of the alarm. Details are hazy, as this was like nine years ago. Anyway, he opened the door.
A man is laying completely naked, sprawled out on the bed on his back.
There was a rice cooker on the counter just smoking away with burnt rice in it. The TV was on full blast. There was the smoke alarm going off. It was chaos. He paged me to call 911.
He grabbed a towel and tossed it over the naked dude, then unplugged the rice cooker and checked naked dude’s pulse. He had a pulse. Good.
The fire department showed up ASAP and barged in. They managed to get the naked dude awake and talking. He claimed he fell asleep watching TV and that he woke up to the smell of smoke, panicked, tried to figure out what to do, inhaled too much smoke, and passed out.”
A Hero In Tighty Whities
“I’ve worked front desk and VIP reception at one of the biggest hotels in the world for about three years, and here are a few things I’ve encountered:
- We had a guy break into another guest’s room while a couple was sleeping. He was going through all their stuff when the husband woke up, threw him out into the hallway, and had him pinned down in a chokehold. This hardcore dude was out there in just his tighty-whities, holding down the guy while the whole floor watched him until security got up there.
- We had a guest come back down to the front desk after getting into his suite because he managed to find a large grocery bag full of intimate toys, handcuffs, etc. He said he found them behind the grate on the air duct. My first thought was, what is he doing in there?
- Copious amounts of coke and Mary Jane; a few of our front desk agents moved up from housekeeping and talk about it all the time.
- I’ve personally checked a guest in to find out they hung themselves in the closet that night.
- A lot of dominatrix stuff including loads of leather, whips, spikes, whips with spikes, and a gold-plated dog collar with the name ‘Bubbles.’
- Some ‘bro’ that was jumping from balcony to balcony on the 20th floor. I can’t tell you how fast and how many people were calling from their rooms about this guy just jumping from one to the other, either frightened about him breaking in or just falling.”