Sometimes it’s hard to react calmly when you see someone attacking your kid…
This piece is based on a Quora question. Link on the last page.
9. We lived at an apartment complex where a boy was seen shooting at 2 of my daughters with an airsoft gun. He managed to hit one of my daughters. I confronted the boy, who was about 12 years old.
I politely told him that he needs to stop shooting at my daughters. I also politely told him that if he continued, I would not be so polite, next time. Shortly, there was a knock at my door.
It was the boys mother. Before I could even open the door, she actually nearly punched it in, screaming through my closed door.
I called the police. They escorted her back to her place and talked to the both of us, separately. It sounded as if the police officers agreed with the way I handled things.
The following week, I received a notice that my family was being evicted, due to “not fitting in with the culture of the community, therefore we would likely be happier elsewhere.” We were given 10 days to find alternate housing and move out. Somehow, we managed under such short notice.
But, as it turned out, the boy that was seen shooting at my daughters was the son of an employee of the management company that owned the apartment complex that we called home.
Word of my stern warning surfaced and went to the property manager. I told her my side of the story, but my side did not matter. We were evicted, end of story. We moved out and they were right. We are MUCH happier not being at that dump of an apartment complex
So, long story short I dealt with a bully by confronting him and it got my family evicted. Seems bullying runs in that family.
Dan Harvell
8. It may have been the wrong way to deal with it this way, but (continued…)
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My oldest son is and always was a gentle soul. When he was about 5 years old, I found out that an older boy in the military housing area in Germany where we were living in was bullying him.
I went to his familys quarters in my dress uniform, with all my combat decorations, etc., confronted his father and told him that if I found his son bullying my son again, I would go to the base commander, who I had served under in Vietnam and who owed me a few favors, and he would find his family sent back to the States while he finished the rest of his tour in Germany alone.
His son never came within 50 yards of my kids again. I rarely pulled rank during my Army career but this was one of those times.
Richard White
7. I was bullied and bitten by our neighbours son when I was about 5 years old. My mother politely but firmly asked him to never do that again, and he bit me again right then and there. Hard.
And, much to my surprise My mother bit him back! I dont think I have ever loved her more than in that instant.
The boy wailed and rushed to his mother, told her the story and she sent him to his room, screaming: Not only are you a bully, but youre a liar, too!
My mother and I overheard the whole conversation and laughed until we cried.
While, of course, I would never recommend this behaviour to other parents, but those were the sixties, and Anyway: This boy never bullied me again.
Susanne Muehrke
6. The neighbor kid used to bully me when I was a child. Hed call me names and stick his tongue out all the time. One day, my mom saw it. She rushed into the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. (continued…)
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When she came out, she put on her angry face. And that was a face that you never forget, I mean if looks could kill.
She then went to the boy who was still sticking his tongue out and told him in an ice cold voice that she would cut his tongue off with the scissors if he would ever stick his tongue out to us again. His eyes grew wide and he ran to look for his grandparents.
The grandparents later told us that they were actually happy about the disciplining, because he would do it to them, too! Needless to say, the boy never bullied me again.
Kat Palffy-Gelfand
5. My daughter was in 2nd grade. She always helped younger and smaller kids.
One day I was called to pick her up because – much to my surprise – she was suspended for fighting.
She insisted she didnt fight but was instead sucker punched.
I called the school and spoke with the Principal. She admitted my daughter was the victim but since they had a ZERO tolerance for violence she had to send the victims home as well as the bullies.
I told the Principal while looking my daughter in the eye and said “the next time you are attacked for any reason you have My permission to kick the snot out of them.
Of course the Principal was shocked and said I couldn’t do that. I told her I have a ZERO tolerance policy for idiots.
No problems after that.
Jeffrey Knight
4. We have four children, all of them are adults now. When my youngest boy was eight, his sisters came running home crying because two thirteen-year-olds were beating on my youngest.
I was so angry that I ran outside, hopped in the car, and started to drive up to the school where the attack was occurring. I fully intended on doing some beating myself. I was irrational and not thinking clearly and probably would have ended up in jail if I followed through with my train of thought. (continued…)
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Luckily, I saw my 16-year-old on my way to the school and yelled at him to climb in the car. We arrived while the two teens were beating on my son. I ran over with my 16-year-old and hollered at the teens to stop.
They stopped the beating and looked up. They instantly had a look of defiance and one even said something to the effect of what are you gonna do about it. You’re an adult.
About that time, my 16-year-old walked up. I smiled and said, I’m not going to do anything, but his brother is going to deal with you!
They ran away, and they never bothered my son again. Mission accomplished!
Wothbora Seer
3. A mean girl grabbed my son, for no apparent reason, right in front of me, and pulled his fingers back until my son, a wonderfully gentle soul, burst into tears. He was around six. She didnt get who I was. The look on her face
I rushed her and screamed at her to leave him alone projecting all my anger and aggression at her. She screamed in terror and ran home. As we walked home we passed in front of her house and the girl and a friend stood at the window making fun of us.
I knocked on the front door and angrily complained to the mother who brought the two girls to the door to apologize.
This is the only time Ive ever witnessed anyone bullying one of my children.
Kelly LaRue
2. We raised 5 children. There were bullying incidents through the years, but two stand out. I was helping our oldest wash her hair in the bath when she was seven, and saw a hand shaped bruise on her arm. (continued…)
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She explained, after some prodding, that two girls had started pushing and hurting her during recess. I asked if the teachers saw this, and she told me the girls were sneaky. I coached her on how to react the next day.
Recess came around, the girls started towards my daughter, and she said, very loudly, Stay away from me! You hurt me yesterday! I don’t want anymore bruises! She immediately had teachers right there, and the girls never bothered her again.
The second time was with our middle child, again in second grade. She was coming home with bruises, and explained that a boy in her class was hurting a girl, not just her, whenever he was angry or frustrated.
I went in and had a meeting with her teacher. She told me she knew about this and had been talking with Joey and trying to get him to stop, but it wasn’t working.
We both were concerned about what was going on in his home that he was acting this way. I suggested that she involve the whole class in role playing as part of an anti-bullying campaign.
She had children, boys and girls, come to the front of the class and practice loudly saying NO! when in an uncomfortable situation. When Joey realized that he couldn’t get away with pinching, etc. because the girl being pinched would yell Ouch! Stop that! That hurt! Or something similar, the abuse stopped.
Elizabeth Belden Handler
1. Ten years ago, my answer was tell my kid to punch them in the nose. If I felt that wouldn’t work because then kid is a lot older and bigger I would remove my child from the situation or tell the other kid to leave if it were at my home. After that talk to the kids parent. If that fails then obviously the parent accepts bullying and violence so I would respond in kind toward them.
Times have changed. Now I skip the first step of encouraging violence from my child as a response. And the last step changes from violence on my part to phoning the police.
It isn’t that my thoughts on the matter have changed, but society has. If you encourage your child to respond with violence or you do yourself, bullies today will then call the police as another form of bullying. Regardless of what they have done, whoever “stops the violence” through police intervention is in the right.
Jerry Mann