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25 of the Laziest Scientific Methods Ever. #9 Is Hilarious.

By Laura McCallum
September 21, 2015
Shutterstock / Dean Drobot

#OverlyHonestMethods invites scientists, lab technicians, and students to explain their not-so-scientific rationale behind their experiments.

1.


Our samples were incubated for 80 minutes because that’s how long it takes for a drink, smoke and brief cry. #overlyhonestmethods
Cynical Science (@CynicalScience) August 5, 2015

2.


The sampling kits used were chosen b/c they were delivered to our lab by mistake and no one wanted to go return them #OverlyHonestMethods
Julia (@Julia_Shmoolia) August 1, 2015

3.


The control group had one less mouse because we accidentally cut off half its tail while drawing blood #overlyhonestmethods #biology #oops
k. vayyes (@ex_animo_92) August 20, 2015
4.


#overlyhonestmethods
Photos were taken using my old phone on a paddle pop stick and chopstick frame. pic.twitter.com/YcI2ToCHrt
Miranda Laird (@Miranda_Laird) September 9, 2014

5.


We chose 10,000 Bootstraps cause the number sounds Shakespearean #overlyhonestmethods
John Protzko (@JProtzko) July 10, 2015

6.


“This work has consisted of putting out fires before they turn into explosions.” #SelfAppraisal #overlyhonestmethods
Molly Peeples (@astronomolly) June 12, 2015

7.


We double-filtered our samples cos they got weird cloudy stuff in with just 1 filter and we decided we didn’t like it. #overlyhonestmethods
Phoebe Morton (@PhoebeM_SEI) May 22, 2015

8.


“Supplement 3 contains the analyses that contradict our conclusions; we are counting on the reviewers not to bother” #overlyhonestmethods
Sanjay Srivastava (@hardsci) May 22, 2015

9.


Considering using Jell-O instead of agarose in gel electrophoresis because that stuff is expensive. #overlyhonestmethods
Matthew Hackett (@gunslinger12373) March 25, 2015

10.


“Scripts had lots of unnecessary output b/c the lines scrolling up the screen make it look like you’re in the Matrix” #overlyhonestmethods
Emily J (@EmExAstris) March 17, 2015

11.


Using a previous year data set because a student froze our drosophila flies overnight and I didn’t want to start over. #overlyhonestmethods
Neurotic Chemist (@NeuroticChemist) February 21, 2015

12.


“A large flask was used because all the small ones were dirty and I didn’t feel like washing them” #overlyhonestmethods #ItsFriday
Ish (@just_ish) February 6, 2015

13.


The dataset was too small to perform any statistics on, but I’m sure its valid because it agrees with my hypothesis. #overlyhonestmethods
James Baker (@jbkr_) February 5, 2015

14.


“Reaction stirred at rt. for 70 days because we forgot about it until crystals were creeping up the side of the flask”#overlyhonestmethods
Sofia Fluttertail (@ZakuraTech) January 30, 2015

15.


#overlyhonestmethods
RT @fMRI_guy: “Methods: We sort of did a variety of things. When the results looked good we stopped.”
Helena (@Helena_LB) January 20, 2015

16.


All chemicals were purchased from Sigma unless otherwise stated. Ethanol (200 proof, bought from the back of a truck) #overlyhonestmethods
Meredith Frazier (@mfraz4) December 16, 2014

17.


We selected this peptide because its regulatory pathway was the least complicated and I wanted to graduate on time. #overlyhonestmethods
Brooke C (@brark) November 21, 2014

18.


#overlyhonestmethods
Results were obtained using pirated statistical software because my lab doesn’t get enough funding to pay licenses.
Dr. Gloria Santos (@HRHGloriaSantos) November 12, 2014

19.


“Samples were not processed immediately, but were stored on snow until roads became passable” #overlyhonestmethods pic.twitter.com/frZCN3L8ha
Jon Badalamenti (@JonBadalamenti) November 10, 2014

20.


A fluorescence-based assay was used to determine cell viability because the pretty pictures make me happy #overlyhonestmethods #phdlife
Mimi (@ThatMimiGirl) October 7, 2014

21.


PI lost a key trial mouse because it bit him and he flung it across the room. Found it later in trash can. #overlyhonestmethods
Julia Weed (@msweedinms) September 12, 2015

22.


The PCR didn’t work because the enzyme is a little shit that only works when it feels like it. #lab #OverlyHonestMethods
MCM (@Feminist_Autie) September 8, 2015

23.


#OverlyHonestMethods
Surrounding vegetation was removed because the researcher dropped his only pen in the pickleweed.
Frank Whatsoe’er (@frankatacorner) August 25, 2015

24.


The 50X TBE solution was left on the magnetic mixer for 6 hours because that’s how long I forgot it for #OverlyHonestMethods
Julia (@Julia_Shmoolia) July 29, 2015

25.


Buffer was 3.4X instead of 1X because the undergraduate thought “10 g” meant “shake the bottle until some pours out”. #overlyhonestmethods
Hilary N (@to_hil_and_back) August 5, 2015

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