Kids say the darndest things right? Well… they also say the most terrifying things.
Here, parents of Reddit were asked to share the creepiest/most terrifying thing they’re child has ever said to them. The results might make you wonder what really goes on in your kid’s head.
My sons were about 2 and 4 when their pet goldfish died. I attempted to use the situation as an opportunity to discuss death and mortality. After I finished my explanation, my four year looked up at me with his big, blue eyes and asked, “Mommy, someday, will you die?” My heart filled with love and a little sadness, knowing this was one of those pivotal moments when the first bit of childhood innocence was lost,and I told him yes, someday, mommy will die.
“Good,” he said with a totally deadpan expression, and walked out of the room.
Later when we were about to flush the fish, he asked if we could eat him instead. I said no, we don’t eat pets because we love them, and he said, “When you die, I’m going to eat you.”
ClitorisMaximus
My four year old son said, “Daddy, I want to drill into your tummy, crawl inside and eat your dinner.”
The food was OK but I didn’t think it was worth that much effort.
yogsoghoth
I taught English in a school in Spain, and I wasn’t supposed to let the kids know that I speak Spanish (so that they are forced to communicate in English). A 10-year-old girl comes up to me one day, grabs me by the hand, and says, with the most horrifying straight face ever, “Te vas a la muerte”, or “you’re going to die”.
I was so shocked at the randomness of it that my jaw must have dropped. She then laughed her head off and said, “HA! You DO speak Spanish!” She then skipped away, laughing and smiling.
Creepiest thing a kid has ever said to me. And probably the most clever thing a kid ever did while I was a teacher.
[deleted]
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My 3 year old daughter was in the bath playing with her toys with me and laughing.
Suddenly her face deadpans, she looks me in the eye and tells me in a serious little voice “mummy, if you bit and ate all my fingers off I wouldn’t love you anymore.”
Likatiger
Once I was taking a nap on the couch. I was waking up, and just as I’m opening my eyes, I see my 2yo son walking toward me with a serious look on his face. He leans in close and whispers, “it happened.” He then leaves without another word.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, WHAT HAPPENED??
whiskey_sour
My 6 year old daughter in the passenger seat a few days ago looked at me and said: “Dad. When I’m seven I’m going to kill you. No wait when I’m eight.”
I had to ask “how are you going to do that?”
She smiled and said “I’m gonna drive over your head with this car.”
scarystrangle
I was putting my daughter to bed one night when she was around two. She said, “Mommy, who’s that?” “Who’s what?” I asked. “Those people talking to me. In my closet. Who is that?”
I just about crapped myself.
MrsAnthropy
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I was explaining to my niece the difference between things that can and can’t change about people, she was confused because she’d met a set of three siblings and the eldest wasn’t the tallest.
So I told her that one day even SHE, an itty bitty four year old could be taller than me, a big huge grownup. But even if she was taller, I would always be older.
She looked me serious as you like and says “you’ll be dead sooner too.”
dukeofbun
My two year old said there is a fairy in his room. He says it most nights. One day I was showing him some old family photos. I show him one of my mother and he points to it and says ‘fairy fairy bedroom’.
The photo was of my mum as a girl. She died 4 years ago.
AmandaHuggenkiss
My kid was in the bathtub one night with the bathroom door open and I was puttering around in the next room. She called out and said “hey mommy, who was that blue guy who just walked down the hall?” She said he was tall like “the shape of those men on the bathroom door like at a restaurant.”
Creeped me out!
Second_Location
My niece drew a picture “of a man in her room” that she kept telling her parents about. He had two different coloured eyes, and one was grey. When asked why it was grey, she responded “because he can see the storm coming.”
herobotic
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I was with my sister, her husband, and their two year old daughter. We were talking about loved ones that had recently passed (my father had died sometime recently). My brother in law went and grabbed a picture of his mother, who had died in a car crash when he was six, to show me. When my niece saw the picture though she started laughing. We asked her what was so funny and she looked at us and said “that’s my special friend who sings to me.” I still shiver a bit just thinking about it.
KaiserXI
When my niece was 3, she covered up my head with a blanket and held it down. I moved my head out where I could see her. She said “You can’t come out” and smothered me again. I laughed and said “Why?” She gritted her teeth and angrily said “Because I don’t want you to.”
savage-af-100-fam
When I was little, my grandfather, whom I called Pop Pop, always promised to take me fishing. Things always came up, or I wasn’t in town to go with him when he went, etc. He died when I was 7 and I never had a chance to go fishing. I had never gone fishing, and have not since he died either.
Fast forward 20 years, my wife and I have a 3 year old daughter. I’ve never spoken to her about my Pop Pop, and I’ve never talked about him in front of her. I haven’t brought him up to anyone since before my daughter was born. One day, I’m off with my daughter and she’s in her room. Suddenly, she comes running into the living room where I’m sitting, and says the following:
Her: Daddy, we have to go fishing! (We don’t live near a lake or anything so this was kinda weird for her to say in the first place)
Me: Why do we have to go fishing?
Her: Because Pop Pop says you have to take me!
Me: Wait, what? Who told you?
Her: Pop pop says you need to take me to go fish.
I’m not really a believer in an afterlife or anything, but I damn sure took her fishing. She has not mentioned Pop Pop since then, and it’s been almost a year since that happened.
chopsuey25
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My son always says odd things. Usually they’re funny but this one threw me for a loop. He is 8. I was telling him how much I love him and thanks for being in my life. He said: “I didn’t choose this life. I couldn’t control how it began. But I can control how it ends.”
ravenlily
My, then 3yr old daughter, walked downstairs in the morning and said “Look what I can do!” and she crossed her eyes. I asked her how she learned to do that and she said, “The boy taught me at night” Me: “What boy?” Her: “The boy with the glasses.. he did this” and she held her finger up and zoomed it to her nose and crossed her eyes. She said he laughed and laughed.
Not too scary right? Only…. that’s how my brother taught me to cross my eyes when I was 5 years old. He died when I was 7 years old.
suedaisy
Not my child but myself. I once got my toe stuck under a door when I was young and lost skin due to it. When I went to kindergarten the day after, the teacher asked what happened. I told her my dad did it with a knife. My parents had to come to school that evening for a talk.
Oops.
Brugman87
When our dog died, without us yet having properly attempted to explain death, our then two year old said, “All her thoughts left her body.”
therealquiz
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One time my kid said: “When you turn off the lights, that’s when the black circles come. They come down like this (holds his hands in the air above his bed), and they stay for a second, then zoop! they go inside! (slapping the hands to his chest).”
Then, barely holding back tears, “I hate it.”
handshape
Child had woken up early so she was watching cartoons next to me in my bed while I tried to wake up.
I’d heard a funny sound downstairs earlier that I mentally blamed on the dogs.
Then kiddo leans over to me and remarks “Oh, there’s a man in the house.”
AWAKE AWAKE AWAKE
(Never found anything, never got any further details from her.)
effieokay
When my son was small, I was talking to him about growing potatoes. I described how you bank up the earth around them as they grow, and he said “I used to do that when I was an old man”.
cheeselet
My mother in-law was picking my son up from school because I had some shit to do, she was supposed to just drop him off (I really dislike that old witch), instead he comes running through the door and yells “daddy I invited grandma for dinner.”
Facepalm.
[deleted]
Some answers have been edited for clarity.