No matter how much you love someone, there will always be those tiny things they do that drive you nuts.
This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.
1. She takes her food out of the microwave with one second to go and doesn’t press cancel.
thebayallday
2. He doesn’t tell me everything that I would tell if I were him.
For example, once we were talking about our days and he said “and then I came home early after the funeral.”
“…funeral? Whose funeral?”
“You know. For Bob.”
“Who is Bob?!”
“My coworker, the one who died last week of cancer.”
He had been working with this guy for a year. In an office of maybe 20 people. He had never once mentioned a coworker named Bob who had cancer and died.
Meanwhile I tend to chatter every thought that passes through my brain. At first I thought he might be hiding something, but nope. He just genuinely thinks of different things to talk about than I do.
WaffleFoxes
3. When he tells stories he takes foooooreeeeeeever to get to the point, and sometimes forgets the point of the story in the middle of it. My worst trait: I am impatient.
alisonwonderland00
4. Left my phone in my truck by mistake yesterday. I had a text message telling me that Wayne Brady will be performing in Hamilton, followed by a bazillion missed calls. Apparently she was expecting a reaction. (continued…)
Keep reading on the next page!
When I called her back later to apologize, she was bawling her eyes out, certain that I had died. She had cancelled our dinner reservations, and was beginning to call local hospitals. I sit at a computer all day. With a desk phone.
No emails. No calls to my desk. This is my life now.
skookumchooch
5. When I ask her to repeat herself (because I didn’t hear what she said) she just repeats one word, making it even more difficult to understand.
GF: Did you hear the Queen was too sick to attend church at Christmas?
Me: Sorry?
GF: The Queen…
Me: Huh?
GF: The Queen!
Me:What?
GF: At Christmas.
Me: What the hell are you talking about?
GF: Oh forget it…
TheEpiquin
6. Instead of throwing the stickers off fruit in the garbage, she sticks them to the counter right above the garbage can. Used to do it randomly, until she found out how much it annoys me. Now she does it deliberately.
FourFingerLifeHug
7. He’s got the text conversation flow skills of a golden retriever.
Me: hey honey did you sleep well?
Him: sends photo of his cat. (continued…)
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Me: Aw I miss that kitty. What are you up to?
Him: Watching a documentary.
Me: Cool, what’s it about?
Him: sends photo of a pan of eggs and random stuff.
Me: Cooking breakfast? Yum what is it?
Him: Yes.
Paperbackhouse
8. He’s like a human heater and likes cuddling too much, so I end up waking up in the middle of the night literally sweating as he constantly rolls over to spoon me. Which is really sweet until I almost get heat stroke.
Derangedbuffalo
9. He refuses to take his socks off during sex. Says it’s important for traction.
kuzul_
10. He is like the classic stupid movie stereotype of a man watching sports. Especially hockey, he knows too much about it and will start screaming stuff like “AND THATS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE PICKED UP ANOTHER FORWARD IN THE GODDAMN SLOT!”
I can’t even say “they can’t hear you love” because I’ve said it so many times it annoys even me.
MimzytheBun
11. She seems to not always be wholly aware why it’s called an internal monologue.
florid_cad
12. My husband is an anti-hoarder. “What is that?” you ask. (continued…)
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“Why do we have this giant flashlight? We NEVER use a giant flashlight. Throws it away
One week later theres a black out. “Why don’t we have any big flashlights in the house? Why am I stuck using these little travel size ones?”
onesecondofinsanity
13. A situation comes up which can have multiple outcomes. She’ll think what the worst possible outcome could be, and absolutely fixate on it as being inevitable.
Tausney
14. She’s really good at figuring out movie plots, so she can spoil a movie without ever having seen it before.
Ronzjava
15. She takes her socks off in bed, but leaves them down by her feet under the covers. Once a week I have to go down there and get them all out or else they start to slide over to my side.
OpTicDyno
16. She sets the alarm for an hour and a half before she needs to be up and just keeps hitting the snooze button. I might have to leave her over this (not really).
Orphanpuncher0
17. She doesn’t rinse off her cereal bowls. If you rinse your cereal bowl right away it cleans so easily. If you leave it though, the cereal gets all hard and stuck. It turns a 5-second rinse job into a 2-3 minute rinse job.
averiantha
18. When I ask a question and she tells me a story without answering the question. (continued…)
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Me: Are you going to be home at 5?
Her: well I have class today, we get our exams back. Then I have to stop by Becky’s to feed her dog whiles she’s out of town with her boyfriend. Then I need to run to the store to pick up a few things so that I can make my mother something for her birthday.
Me: Okay… are you going to be home at 5?
Her: Yeah, probably.
Raaarrrghernle!
Shia501
19. He always compliments me, but when I try to give him a compliment he flat out says that he’s not that great and I think he thinks I’m making things up to make him feel better.
Let me love you, god dammit, you are an amazing human.
aropomposo
20. She’s horrible with interrupting to tell a story that I reminded her of while Im telling my own. Then she just talks forever about it until she realizes I’m staring at her because she interrupted.
buzzcut13
21. She can’t watch anything without stopping it and rewinding it over and over, either because she wasn’t paying attention or she wants to read some silly detail. It usually takes at least twice as long to watch anything.
stickwithplanb
22. Her farts are way worse than mine. Even the dog starts sneezing.
Early_Grace
23. She asks for permission whenever she wants to take something from the fridge.
Baby, we’ve been together for two years and you spend half your nights in my condo. Stop asking if you can take a Coke Zero and just take it.
Herpitdyderpdoo
Keep reading on the next page!
24. He’s gullible when it comes to news media. I’ve had to teach him how to research his sources before posting shit on facebook that’s blatant lies. He’s learned, but I still don’t follow him on Facebook because it gives me anxiety.
shylowheniwasyoung
25. He’s indecisive as hell. I love my husband with all my heart but whyyyyy do I have to park before we go into a drive through so he can look at a menu on his phone before he orders the same thing he gets every. other. time.
The other day I had to pick for him at a dine-in restaurant because he kept saying “should I get a salad or a burger?” long enough for the server to come back 3 seperate times to take our order.
squidofreptar
26. He’s so emotionally closed off. Unless he’s drunk off his ass, I have no idea how he feels the majority of the time.
winterhavenwoods
27. She is a semi-compulsive hoarder. We recently bought a new kettle and she refuses to throw away our old one. This would be innocent if we didn’t already have a backup kettle for our backup kettle. So we have 3 kettles. This is what it’s like with every purchase we make.
I’ve figured out she really hates throwing things away for nothing so I have started introducing her to selling things online. Personally I don’t even bother with it and just throw things out, but she seems be getting fond on selling our old stuff.
averiantha
28. He snores. And I’m not talking “roll him over and he stops” snores. It’s more a “consider building a sound-proof tiny house in the backyard and flipping a coin to see whose new bedroom it will be” kind of snoring. No matter what doors are closed in our house, I hear it.
WriteBikeB