The Couple Claimed It Was A Psychological Issue, But He Had Other Theories
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“My wife and I once met a friendly couple on holiday, and we chatted and drank for a while. After about half an hour, the man confessed he had a dark secret…he uncontrollably poops his pants, at weddings, christenings, work, etc. Apparently, it was a psychological issue. The only thing that helped stop it is was anti-diarrhea medication.
I offered him what we had from our medicine travel box which he gladly accepted. After that night, we avoided the couple like the plague for the rest of the holiday. The weird thing was his partner was a psychologist who claimed she was trying to help him through it. I suspect she was actually programming him, whispering, ‘Poop yourself’ in his ear as they slept. My favorite quote of his, which still makes my wife and I burst out laughing, was, ‘I’ve lost count of the number of family gatherings I’ve ruined.’
Her Class Partner Decided To Unload All Of Her Past Traumas
“My 10th-grade bio lab partner and I had class together for a full semester. The following semester she wasn’t my partner, but I’d say hello to her in the hall on occasion. One day I was hanging in the classroom at lunch, and she came in, sat down, and gave me her whole life story.
She was a foster kid who’d bounced from family to family. There was one place where the foster mother used to watch all the kids shower to make sure that they were clean. She shared bedrooms with up to 6 kids at sometimes, and there was a creepy foster dad at the last place.
I was listening to this absolutely disturbing laundry list of experiences, and the only thing I could think to say when she was done was, ‘Is this a cry for help? Should I tell someone? Are you ok now?’ She said, ‘No the place I’m at now leaves me alone, I just thought you should know.’
All in all, she was an alright lab partner. Other then that intro, she seemed relatively normal. I even ended up going to her foster home for study groups once or twice. The people seemed decent and welcoming.”
The Lawless Lady Would Stop At Nothing To Confess Her Deeds
“I used to row people down the Grand Canyon on a whitewater raft as a professional guide. One day a woman got off the bus, came over, and asked if she could ride on my raft. I said sure, and we got her settled in.
About 30 minutes later as I was pulling off the beach for a 14-day trip, she looked at me and said, ‘Hey, can I tell you a secret?’
‘Uh, sure.’
‘Should I tell my husband about the 2 pounds of crank in our freezer at home, or keep it to myself?’
‘Um, so let’s talk about raft safety here. If the boat starts to tilt, you may hear me call out ‘high side!’ and if I do that it means you should move to the highest side of the raft, usually towards whatever the raft hit…’
‘No, I’m serious. He doesn’t know and I’m pretty sure it’s a major felony. He’s a government contractor and he would lose his security clearance. I’m just looking for an opinion…’
‘If you do fall out of the raft, I’d like you to get into what we call the river position, with your toes breaking the surface and your body flat, on your back. Take a second and look around to find the raft, and follow my directions. If I’m not in the boat, I’d like you to swim to it and get on top of it if you can, even if it’s upside down.’
‘We’re on this trip because we want to make a baby, but my boyfriend is also on the trip and I’m not sure how it will work out.’
‘There are rattlesnakes in the canyon, and they like the areas next to the river. If you do encounter one, make sure to not get any closer. Back away slowly and it’ll go on its way and you on yours. There are also scorpions, and they like damp clothing, so make sure to shake out your sandals and clothes before you put them on…’
‘You don’t mind me telling you this, right?’
The trip ended in a stabbing and a divorce. It was intense.”
He Couldn’t Believe The Woman Conned Her Way Into Being A Nurse
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“Back in 2009, I had just started a new nursing job (I’m a registered nurse) and was doing orientation training, alone, on a PC in the education department. A girl came in to do the same, sat across the table from me, and starts chatting. She learned I was an associate degree nurse and said she’d just graduated from the nursing program at the local university. She said she cheated (her words) the entire program and could give me the tests and notes to complete an RN-to-BSN program there. I was shocked at her admission; we had just met!
She then went on to ask me if I wanted to buy a large flat screen, and asked if I’d heard about the recent train robbery where thousands of dollars of electronics were stolen. She told me her boyfriend had been in on it and had some televisions he needed to offload. Eventually, she asked if I was into pills, and said she could generally get her hands on any type and that I could pay via adult favors. I awkwardly said, ‘No thanks, I’m gay anyway.’ Then she said her husband could also trade pills for favors. I immediately reported her to the education department.
The next week, she showed up orienting in the intensive care unit where I was working. I told her preceptor about my experience, and she noted that the girl was incredibly arrogant but had virtually no basic nursing knowledge. After a few days orienting in the ICU, she was pulled back to the education department for another trip through the orientation program. She was not allowed back in the ICU due to her incompetence.
A few weeks later I saw her on a different floor, and she was ticked that she didn’t get to stay in ICU. Her reputation quickly spread around the hospital, and eventually, she was fired. Shortly thereafter I was browsing through the quarterly Board of Nursing magazine and saw that her nursing license had been suspended for mishandling narcotics, which was not surprising.
In the next issue of the quarterly magazine, her suspension had been terminated and the reason given was that she had died. A quick Google search for her obituary confirmed that it was indeed the girl, and her FB profile indicated she died of an overdose.”
He Was A Total Scumbag, And Showed No Boundaries At All
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“During my second conversation with a new acquaintance, we were talking about Magic the Gathering.
Him: ‘Yeah, I used to go rare card hunting with my cousin a lot. We had so much fun back then. But that’s her loss.’
Me: ‘Why?’
Him: ‘Well I thought she liked me, but she got all upset when I finally put a move on her. Like, if she didn’t wanna bone, why did she spend so much time with me? Whatever.’
Me: ‘Uh, so like, was she married into the family?’
Him: ‘Huh? No, she’s my uncle’s daughter. Real gorgeous, too. WAY prettier than her fugly older sister. But maybe her looks will start going downhill when she hits 18, too. You never know.’
For context, this guy was 25, talking about his 16 year old first cousin. I found out weeks later that she had a restraining order out on him, too. He was a really creepy dude.”
He Was A Modern Day Renaissance Man Who Had One Big Thing Holding Him Back
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“I used to work at a bar/venue in Santa Monica, and would occasionally work the door when not doing live sound. One day a very fit, well-dressed guy in his 20s (we’ll call him Dale) started dancing outside to the music coming from inside. Let me tell you, this guy could MOVE. I couldn’t help myself but let out the occasional holler, and we eventually started talking. He also happened to be a phenomenal singer, and I couldn’t understand how he wasn’t huge yet.
People were coming in and out of the venue and I was taking care of my responsibilities, but this conversation went on for about 2 hours. However, Dale would occasionally look at one of my patrons as if they’d personally affronted him, but it didn’t derail his train of thought and he never said anything about it. Then about 30 minutes into the conversation, he stopped mid-sentence, apologized, and said, ‘Bro can you tell me why everyone is looking at me? Are they here too? Like, you’ve gotta be kidding me?’
I was completely thrown off and didn’t know how to respond other than by assuring him that nobody was looking at him any type of way. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, then told me that ever since he moved to California a year and a half prior, he’d been followed and influenced by demons. Certain ‘people’ would turn their faces towards him and the demons would show their faces and smile with long, dagger-like teeth, almost as if to taunt him.
He started getting upset, looked at me and said, ‘Wow, I’m glad I can tell you’re not one of them. You’re good people.’ We spoke for another hour and a half or so, only occasionally mentioning the demons when I could tell he was getting flustered, and I would remind him that I’d keep them at bay as long as we were speaking.
I had recently moved into a hostel and, the morning prior to that shift, a housemate and I had a long conversation about his job at a mental care facility that offered medical and psychological screenings, and a room and 3 square meals for 13 days and nights.
Not wanting to insinuate a less-than-stellar living situation, I wasn’t sure how to go about offering Dale a business card for the care facility. That is, until he spent 20 minutes beating himself up for not being able to control the demons. The fact that he was homeless probably had less to do with their influence and more with his inability to control them in his mind. His level of self-awareness was inspiring, and I took that very moment to offer him a card. We spoke another 5 minutes before he hugged me and disappeared into the night.
The next evening I was sitting at home in the hostel and the housemate who worked at the facility said, ‘Do you know a Dale? He said you gave him our card, and I only gave those to you yesterday.’ I told him a brief version of our encounter and he was almost as dumbfounded as I was. That situation totally changed my perspective on the concept of ‘oversharing.’
He Had Just Met The Lot And Announced A Litany Of Bizarre Stories
“I once invited a new pal to hang out with me and my friend group. I met him in one of my classes, and we got along pretty well so I thought I would have him tag along after class to smoke and chill with us. He told me and all my friends, whom he had never met before, that he paid for a lady of the night to sleep with him, came within 2 minutes of getting hand action, then tried to copulate with her anyway since he ‘paid for his hour and was getting (his) hour. He then got arrested since she was being watched by the cops.
He also told us how he, a self-proclaimed ‘100% straight man,’ got wasted with a bi friend of his and let his bi friend do him in the butt while he jacked himself off. He told us this within minutes of the other story. Bear in mind, this wasn’t someone we had known for a long time. I had known him for about a week, and it was literally the first time he had met any of my friends. We no longer hang out with him; not because of his past strange experiences, but because he just didn’t fit in with us and resorted to literally stalking all my friends and I. He once chased me through town, not on foot, but in his car. He was an odd young man.”
His Prediction About His Girlfriend’s Trailer Park Cousin Turned Out To Be Spot On
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“I had been dating this girl for about 4 months. She was really family oriented and wanted me to meet one of her guy cousins that she was really close to. No problem! She kept talking about him, and I started to craft a mental picture in my head of what this dude might look like.
So one day I went over to her house and she said her cousin wanted to meet me. She drove, talking about him the whole way, and I was still trying to picture him as we pulled up to a trailer park. No big deal, I lived in a trailer once. But it was the rattiest, most worn out trailer with grass as tall as my knees (I’m 6’1″), and the porch was broken. She knocked and he said, ‘Come in.’
We walked in and sure enough, this dude looked EXACTLY like I thought he would. He had light brown hair with a mullet and a missing front tooth with a Pall Mall hanging out of his mouth. She introduced us and he didn’t shake my hand, just looked at me and said, ‘Have a seat.’ We sat down and he started asking me about my life in general. I answered everything he asked, and he started to warm up to me. I just wanted to get the heck out of there.
He was in his early 30s (I assume, I was 24 and my girlfriend was 19), was married, and had two kids. His wife did NOT talk without looking at him for his permission. My girlfriend would ask her something, she’d look over at her husband, he’d nod, and then she’d answer the question.
Then he laid out some DVDs and asked me to pick one. I end up picking Walking Tall with Dwayne Johnson. Every freaking five seconds, this dude stopped the movie and started talking about random stuff. Eventually, I asked to use the restroom and he pointed to the other side of the house. I went in and there were clothes everywhere, so I didn’t touch a thing and tried to get out of there as fast as I could. When I went to wash my hands and there was a Polaroid picture on the mirror of his wife, naked, with rope tied around her hands.
We ended up staying for FOUR HOURS at this house. At one point he started talking about how he got assaulted as a kid and his therapist said he needed to get it out in the open. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.
My girlfriend said she was finally ready to go but needed to use the restroom. She went into the same one I used, and the guy leaned into me and said, ‘Psst,’ and did the head nod for me to get closer. Then he said, ‘That’s a good lay, huh?’ I just looked at him, and he said, ‘I tried it a few times,’ and gave me that missing tooth smile. We left shortly after.
So…I realized that relationship was NOT going to work. I mentioned what the guy said to my girlfriend and she replied, ‘Darnit, that was a long time ago! Why did he tell you that?’ NOPE.”
She Had To Strip Down, Which Seemed To Trigger Some Old Memories
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“I was once at a summer barbecue party where there were about 15 people, and I knew almost all of them. One of the guys brought a girl who he had just started seeing, and I had only met her once for a few minutes prior to the party.
About an hour into the party she got very wasted, spilled a bunch of cranberry juice on her shirt, took the shirt off, then stood there in the backyard in her shorts and bra and spent the next several minutes telling us how her uncle used to touch her when she was a kid and how it has totally messed up her life and any chance she could ever have a decent relationship. At one point the guy she was with tried to calm her down and she screamed, ‘It’s easy for you to stay calm, you haven’t had your uncle inside you!’ It was effective, as it brought the party to a screeching halt.
She made a heck of an exit as well. She and the guy she was with went in the bathroom so she could clean up and put on a new shirt. They had brought a cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory with them and we were just getting started with the food so nobody had eaten it yet. She came out of the bathroom, put her wet shirt in a plastic bag, picked her cheesecake up, grabbed a can of Pepsi, and walked out the front door. I never saw her again after that. It was rough. I hope she can get help and have a reasonably happy life.”
Her Inability To Read The Room Made For An Incredibly Awkward Dinner
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“I once went out with my friend and her husband. I knew both of them really well, and she brought some friends with her too, which was just fine. I’m always up for meeting new people. We went out to some bars and decided to go eat at a restaurant after. Two of her friends didn’t join, but one of them who brought her boyfriend did.
We got to the restaurant and ordered food and drinks, but only after the friend got into an argument with the server about what drink she wanted. That kinda put me off, and my boyfriend and I shared a look while it was happening.
The food and drinks got to the table, we all started talking, and for the most part, it was a normal conversation. Then, out of nowhere, the new friend began talking about all the strange places her and her boyfriend have gotten it on. She talked about that for 20 MINUTES, most of which was her explaining how you get away with doing it in the bathroom of a train, and how awkward it was trying to make it work in an area that small.
She then pestered my friend to talk about all the strange places she’d done it with her husband, and I could tell my friend was slightly uncomfortable with it. I listened respectfully, but the whole time I was praying she didn’t ask me the same question because I was not prepared to share that information with her.
Finally the night ended, and my boyfriend and I got into our car and shared a look. We talked about how we didn’t enjoy her a whole lot and hoped were never forced to hang out with her again. Thankfully I haven’t! thus far.”
The Date Was Going Fine Until She Mentioned Her Unusual Family Background
“I met a girl through Plenty of Fish once, and she looked decent from her pictures but when I met her she was completely different. Not wanting to be rude, I swallowed my pride and took her out to eat, figuring I wouldn’t have to see her again after that.
Then on the drive back to her place, she asked me what my opinion on the paranormal was. Confused, I went with it and told her my thought. She then informed me that her sister was conceived during a satanic ritual, and went into detail about the multi-person conception of her sister. She even mentioned that an Ouija board predicted her birthday. I don’t remember much after that, but needless to say, I didn’t talk to her again.”
Her Tales Shook Him To His Core, And Then She Revealed A Giant Twist
“A girl in my class put up a Snapchat story asking for anything that may help migraines. I felt bad for her and sent her a message about warm peppermint tea being pretty good. We got to chatting and I’m not sure how, but fifteen minutes later I was left reeling because she’d told me her stepdad had assaulted her several times from when she was a kid up until earlier that year, and she’d been dealing with legal battles and flashbacks every day of her life since. I was 16 at the time, and man, I’d heard of stuff like that but it never seemed real. Truth be told, it kept me up very late that night and I was really shaken.
The next morning she messaged me saying that I was cool and she figured we’d become friends. I thought to myself, ‘Hold up, I thought we were already friends?’ It turned out it was a completely different girl from the one in my class with the same name, one I’d never talked to in my life.
We weren’t ‘friends’ very long, perhaps around a week. I honestly didn’t know this girl at all, yet I knew her deepest, darkest secrets. A big part of me wanted to be there for her, but I also knew I was way in over my head, so I just stopped talking to her one day. I’m well aware that was crappy of me, but I didn’t know any better at that age.”
She Dropped The Most Bizarre Bomb On Him, And Then Pretended It Didn’t Happen
“I was waiting in line to see a movie on opening night, back when I did such things, and my wife had gone to use the bathroom. Essential detail: this line was not a long straight line, but one of those winding ones with the strips and poles delineating the line area. It was pretty much just a roped off maze for people to line up in so that the line was controlled and didn’t take up too much space. Point being, you were not only standing behind and in front of people, but next to them as well.
After my wife had exited the line to go pee, the lady next to me started chattering and I was kinda like, ‘Uh huh,’ and, ‘Oh, yeah?’ and ‘Oh,’ and all that. I didn’t want to be rude, but I don’t really care to have a conversation with a stranger. I should note that she resembled the crazy landlord lady from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, just a bit younger.
I was pretty tuned out, but then my brain rewinded the conversation a bit like, ‘Hold up, what?!’ I couldn’t help but blurt out, ‘Uh, what?’ So she repeated what I had half-heard her say: ‘I can’t come unless someone really chokes me.’ Lady, like what? What the heck?
My wife came back just then, right as the line started moving, and so as the line snaked along I had to pass that lady like three times, and she completely ignored me like it just didn’t happen. Also, it wasn’t in New York or some similar nexus-of-weirdness type place where you’d expect that sort of thing, it was in the Midwest. What the heck.”
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