You Don’t See The Problem Here?
“She was crazy hot, but she let her two dogs poop in her apartment, and she would leave it there for days. I’m talking dog poop dried and hard just chilling in her kitchen, living room, and bedroom. She thought I was weird for having an issue with it.
One dog was small, but the other was a decent size. There was no other reason other than she just didn’t think it was a big deal to let them poop in the apartment. The apartment was carpeted.
I have dogs, so when we walked into the apartment I was like, ‘Oh no, looks like one of your dogs had an accident.’
But she just went an sat on the couch and was like, ‘What do you mean?’
Me: ‘Um, there’s poop. On the floor. Right here.’
Her: ‘Oh, they just go in the house. Come, sit down.’
Me: ‘…’
I looked around and started noticing other dried up piles around. I must have looked confused, because she asked, ‘Why is it a big deal?’
Me trying to wrap my head around what was happening, ‘There’s poop in your apartment. POOP!’
She just didn’t care.”
It Looks Like She Dodged A Bullet With This One
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“I was casually dating this guy (as in, we had only recently met and only been on a couple of dates) back in college. He was educated, had a good job and his own place, and was polite. Basically, no immediate red flags.
One day, he wanted me to come over for a casual pizza night at his place. I had just finished up a 12-hour day due to my scheduling combination of nonstop classes and a part-time job. I was exhausted and did not feel like spending nearly an hour doing my hair and make-up to get all dolled up for such a casual date.
I texted him something along the lines of, ‘I had a long day, can we keep it casual tonight? I hope you’re okay with yoga pants and a hoodie.’
He responded with, ‘Actually, no, that’s not okay. When you’re spending time with me, you should always make a full effort to look your absolute best.’ Then, he started trying to tell me what to wear, something along the lines of ‘Why don’t you put on a pretty dress, make yourself look nice for me?’
It was one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever had. After he made the dress comment, I simply stopped responding. I never spoke to him again. He kept on texting me for a while, asking what was wrong and why I had just disappeared. I honestly don’t think he realized what he said was so off-putting.”
Good Thing She Learned That BEFORE The Date
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“I had a crush on this guy in my church for YEARS as a teenager. I started liking him at like 12 or 13 and was undyingly in love (or so I thought).
When I turned 18, I was about to move out and he asked me on a lunch date. That night when I got home, my mom was on the phone bragging to her friend that I ‘finally’ got the date I wanted for so long. Her friend was like…. ‘Um, you need to keep your daughter away from him.’
It turns out, he was babysitting for a neighbor (a family I actually babysat for and a family in our church too), and he took one of the little girls into the bathroom and made her take off her diaper or panties or something and was touching her when the older sister walked in.
The family moved away and he was in a very complicated legal case after that. I don’t know the results because the family moved away and I moved to college, and nobody heard anything. Even if it wasn’t true though, I lost all crushes and anything else for the loser.”
She Was A Master Manipulator And Liar
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“She told me all about her fantastic exciting life, but the more I got to know her, the more holes I noticed in her tales.
It turned out she was just an adept pathological liar, and I didn’t know her at all. The girl she had painted a picture of, across three weeks and multiple dates, was entirely fictional.
The magic died when I asked about a small inconsistency, giving her the benefit of the doubt, and she blew up at me, turned everything I had told her about my life into an attack on my character, and then acted as if she said it for my benefit.
All that just to deflect from my question.”
He Only Wanted Her For What She Could Do For Him
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“He was broad-shouldered, had wavy dark blonde hair, and a cleft chin. He sat in front of me in biology 101, and about halfway through the semester he said, ‘Hi.’ I died inside. His voice was melodious and deep. I knew he meant, ‘I love you.’
He wore thick corduroy pants and a nice button-down Oxford shirt and had a worn leather backpack. He was handsome.
Every Tuesday and Thursday in that three-credit class, I put on my tightest Guess jeans, waited until he was there, then sat down behind him and said ‘Hi.’ He would smile and say hello. I died every time. I told my roommates about him.
Summer came and we all went home. I was at my local bar with my friends and there he was. I couldn’t believe it.
I said, ‘Hey. How are you?’
He looked up from his drink and said, ‘Wow. Hi.’ We chit chat for a little bit.
Him: ‘Hey can you do me a favor?’
Me: ‘Sure.’
Him: ‘Can you act like my girlfriend?’
Me: ‘What?’ Was this a ploy to get me to be his actual girlfriend? Could my dream boyfriend be true?
He put his arm around the guy next to him. Yep. He liked boys.
Crush gone.
We stayed friends for a while and he was fun. And I always thought he was so handsome.
In truth, it might have been maybe dangerous for him to come out because it was the early 1980s in a rural area. So when I look back at it, I’m glad he thought he could trust me.”
It Only Took 9 Words To Kill The Crush Entirely
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“I was about 14 in the late ’90s, working basically as a volunteer babysitter/teacher’s assistant in Vacation Bible School in rural Mississippi.
One of the older boys was 16 and quite attractive. We were both assigned to clean up the Arts & Crafts room, which had been destroyed by a pack of children. We walked in, he scoffed and said, ‘I ain’t cleaning this up. My skin ain’t black.’
I’ve never lost an attraction to someone so fast in my life.”
I Guess She Helped Him Out In The End
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“She told me I was a vampire hunter in another life and that she was a vampire and she was afraid that I was going to kill her.
I was in high school and this girl and I had started talking through Myspace and AIM, then decided to finally meet up in school. Now keep in mind we had been talking, relatively normally, through AIM. It was nice conversations, slightly flirty as highschoolers tend to be. Anyhow, I got to school the next day after deciding to meet her, and she saw me, then hid behind the wall next to her.
Her friend said, ‘You need to leave.’ So I shrugged, then left. Later that day, once I made it home, after contemplating all day what I did wrong, she messaged me on AIM and said, ‘I’m so sorry about today, and I’m sorry about all these conversations we had. I didn’t know that you were a vampire hunter.’
Excuse me?
‘Yeah, I’m a vampire, as you probably know, and I could smell the vampire hunter’s blood in your veins. You probably don’t even realize you’re a vampire hunter, but you are – it’s in your blood and in your ancestry.’
I shrugged my shoulders, realized she was insane, and moved on.
Years later, I found her through a friend of a friend, and she told me that she was just really shallow and thought I was too fat, so she had to find some reason why she didn’t like me without ‘hurting my feelings too much.’
Jerk.”
Falling In And Out Of Love With Your Best Friend
“I fell in love with my best friend. We were both single at the time, both recently having broken up with our serious, longtime boyfriends only one or two months apart.
It happened gradually as we spent time together talking, drinking, going out, going on a holiday, to the movies, concerts, confiding in each other, having dinner together. I actually only realized I had fallen in love with him when at one of the parties we went to I came back from the bathroom and found him in the corner kissing some random guy. It felt like a punch in the gut. Not long after, I confessed my love to him. He didn’t feel the same way about me. So I took some time off from or friendship to get over it. It was terrible. Like watching the most beautiful thing in the universe slowly circle down the drain. But I did it. I watched it go.
Somewhere in between our time apart, he started dating someone. I was shocked when I first saw a picture. The guy looked almost exactly like me. Many a friend commented on the fact that we looked like brothers. Though everyone knew from our personalities that we were nothing alike. And here I get to what it was that killed my crush deader than dead.
The guy my best friend fell for was shallow, possessive, jealous, prone to creating melodrama, and just generally acting like an emotional narcissist. Although I tried befriending him, he actively tried to sabotage my friendship with my best friend. Almost succeeded as well.
Skip to eight years later: they are now married. My best friend is miserable and lonely in his faltering relationship, and now has developed a crush on me, his most trusted and closest companion. Gosh, we went through so much together and know each other so well. But even if he wasn’t with someone else right now, I can’t feel it back for him anymore. The fact that he chose to be with someone like that has just completely killed any romantic attraction I had for him.”
He Just Couldn’t Get Enough
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“I was talking to a guy, we had held hands but nothing beyond that. One day, he confessed he was in love with me. A little quick buddy, but that’s not even what stopped me. He commented I looked just like his ex. Even if that’s true, NEVER SAY IT. I can’t remember much more besides wanting to stop him mid-speech and give him pointers on asking someone out.
So I knew it wasn’t going anywhere when my friend asked me to help cover up hickeys…from that dude. She didn’t know we had been talking, I didn’t know they had been past talking. I bowed out, said you can have him but I don’t think you should.
I found out later he was talking to five of us at once, one was married. The married chick and I noped out of there fast, the others FOUGHT OVER THIS JERK! Hicky girl ‘won,’ and they started dating. Out of nowhere, he told me he would drop her in a second if I would give him a chance. NOOOOOOO.
I told her everything, showed her the texts, trying to save her from heartache. She didn’t listen or care. They’re now married, with kids, and he cheats so often she’s started cheating back in retaliation.
I was invited to the wedding but said no.”
What Are We Having For Dinner? Racism?
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“I’m Cuban but pass for pure Anglo rather easily with short hair. My cousins have given me grief about it for decades even though we all have first names like Heather, Gerry, Joey, and Stefanie.
I also was adopted into the family by my aunt and uncle (dead mom, deadbeat birth father) so I have my uncle’s last name and it is no longer Blanco.
Yes, Blanco. The Spanish word for white. A high tragedy with my ruthless cousins.
At any rate, as my high school crush and I approached the door to my house in order to meet my parents and have dinner with them, her face crinkled up in disgust when I answered her question about what we were having (yellow rice and chicken with black beans).
‘Like, you mean like spics eat?’
My tiny and very Cuban mom opened the door almost at that millisecond.
I was tempted to ask my mom to ‘chincleta’ the racist bimbo waffle next to me but instead drove the girl home during a quiet ride.
She avoided me during the next year and a half of school.”
“Oh, Don’t Worry Babe, I Do This All The Time”
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“One time, my ex wanted me to hang out in the bathroom while he was showering so he could tell me about his day. After a few minutes, the most god-awful smell to ever grace my nostrils appeared and I started coughing.
In between trying to breathe and trying to ask what happened, he interrupted me and laughed, saying, ‘Sorry babe, I couldn’t wait any longer.’ He then showed me that he took a dump in the shower. I was pretty grossed out but accidents happen, I guess.
THEN HE STARTED SMASHING IT WITH HIS FOOT SO IT WOULD ‘go down the drain.’
‘Oh, don’t worry babe, I do this all the time.’
I was done at that point.”
It Killed More Than The Crush
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“I had a major crush on a neighbor/friend of mine for years. Eventually, I built up the confidence to tell her. She didn’t feel the same way – fair enough.
The next day, we were both going to a mutual friend’s party. I walked in the door and overheard some of her conversation with her cousin which went something like this:
Cousin: ‘Why don’t you give him a chance?’
Crush: ‘Because he’s ugly.’
Yep. Not only did it kill the crush, but it absolutely killed my confidence.”
Little Miss Pageant Was Literally Too Cool For School
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“I saw this happen to a friend.
It was his going away party (he got accepted to an Ivy league school) and he had a crush on Miss [our hometown]. She was/still is drop-dead gorgeous.
He decided this bonfire party would be his night. He was going for it. They were somewhat friends and she flirted with him sometimes.
Right as he was telling us, we heard her go, ‘I’ve never even read a book in my life.’
Some girl asked about as a child or required reading for classes. She said, ‘I said I’ve never read a book in my life.’
My friend grabbed a bottle and downed a good bit saying he was going to need it. He almost got there and then came back later that night saying she was absolutely too stupid to talk to.”
It Was Always The Aliens With This Guy
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“I dated this guy for about a month and everything was going well. There were a few red flags but rose-colored glasses and all that. I was driving, he was in the passenger seat, and we were heading to my sister’s house to pick something up when Rihanna came on the radio. I started to sing along. He looked at me, dead serious and said, ‘You know all pop singers are controlled by the Illuminati and have to kill someone and sign a contract in blood before they can become famous, right?’
I didn’t know what to do. I mumbled, ‘Mm-hmm,’ while debating what would happen if I decided to tuck and roll. We made it to my sister’s. I told her he was crazy and explained what happened. She laughed and said he must have been joking.
When we got back to my place and he started watching Ancient Aliens and didn’t even look up from the TV to say, ‘Everyone knows we’re constantly being monitored by aliens. NASA doesn’t show live feeds of space because there’s so many alien spacecrafts up there.’
I asked him to leave and not come back.”
All It Takes Is A Little Homophobia To End A Crush
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“I had a huge crush on a guy throughout the first semester of ninth grade. I was really head over heels for him.
Then he said at lunch one day that all gay people had AIDS and deserved to die of it. Yeah… no.
We had both spent our whole lives sheltered in a conservative Catholic church/school, and at that point, I didn’t even know what ‘gay’ meant, besides bad. It had never occurred to me that people could be gay, and certainly not that I am bi.
But yeah. Dense as I was, that whole ‘deserving to die of AIDS’ thing instantly killed the crush.”
A Double Dose Of Rejection
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“I was tutoring a girl in calculus. Valentine’s day was coming up and she was getting hassled a lot by this other guy on our floor (college freshmen year) that was clearly into her as well. I was apparently more casual about my crush on her, because the moment he left the room to let me tutor her, she turned to me and said, ‘I hope he doesn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day.’
My first thoughts were potentially good. I had hoped it was because she wanted me to do something for Valentine’s Day instead. But then she continued her explanation by saying she just wasn’t ready for a real relationship yet.
This didn’t entirely squash my crush though. It wasn’t until about a month later when she was dating some other guy (not me, or the other guy from out floor) that I realized she just wasn’t interested in either of us.
That crushed my crush.”
It’s Easier To Not Think About It
“She was a devout Catholic and I’m an ex-Catholic. We got into a conversation about our beliefs and she said something like, ‘I don’t know if it’s right or not, but I stick with it because it’s easier than changing my mind.’
If you can’t be bothered to rub two brain cells together to contemplate your spiritual beliefs for a moment, then I’m guessing you’re not much of a thinker.
I kind of prefer to have relationships with people who can carry on a meaningful conversation from time to time.”
Her “Rocking Body” Hid Her Faults…At First
“There’s a relatively famous Instagram fitness model that lives in the same town as me. She had a rocking body that I was crushing on super hard.
I ran into her at a bar one night and ended up taking her home. The whole way home consisted of her talking about how great she was and generally just being condescending about anyone who wasn’t up to ‘her standard.’
She basically thought she was special for some basic qualities. I have never been more turned off by a nonphysical attribute so quickly in my life.
Looking at her page now, it’s clear as day that she’s super vain, but it took me meeting her to really grasp just how someone’s awful personality can make a gorgeous person hideous. I didn’t even know I had those sort of standards for women I wanted to sleep with, so I guess overall it was a net gain.”
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