From getting revenge on a cheating girlfriend by giving her stuff back while she's working to a father dressing up as Santa Claus and teaching school bully a lesson, people share the most messed up way they've extracted revenge on someone.
[Content has been edited for clarity.]
The Evil Case Of Poison Ivy
“I’m immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard (about a full acre). I’d left it on this concrete area behind our garage (because that’s where it was near when I pulled it out). Anyway, I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood. I didn’t always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A ‘Big kid’, probably 2-3 years older than me, was always a real jerk. He’d do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was going to high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing. Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset.
I got my super soaker and was going to shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. I placed some in a bucket of water and stirred it all up good, then dumped that in my super soaker and went back to the pond. On the way back home he came around messing with me again. I hosed him down and he broke my super soaker, but man it was worth it.
From what I hear he didn’t go back to school for almost two weeks.”
Stick To Your Promises
“I used to live in a very small town, like 250-300 people. We had no stores, gas stations, etc.
One day a local guy decided to open up a little store that sold the basics like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of us high school kids to work the store and promised us $50 a week for the summer to be paid at the end of the summer.
We agreed and started working. We gave up that summer stocking shelves, cleaning the bathroom, lawn care and whatever else.
Well, the end of the summer comes around. It’s our last day of work, and he comes by with our paychecks. $50. For each of us. For the whole summer…
Needless to say, we weren’t too happy, but his words were ‘what are you going to do about it? Drop the key off at my house since you won’t need it anymore.’
We came up with a plan to pay this jerk back. Before locking up the store for the last time, we left a window unlocked. We dropped the key off at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store. Grabbed as much as we could. We made off with probably about $1000 worth of stuff, locked the window, then left through the emergency exit that had no alarm. There were also no cameras of any kind.
Next day there were cops there. He accused all of us of doing it but had no proof. He ended up having to shut down the store a few months later because the town heard how he didn’t pay us and stopped doing business there.
I don’t feel bad. He deserved it.”
Revenge On Lord Of The Flies
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“A friend and I were fishing at a local creek when my friend’s brother pulled up. Being the jerk he normally was, he started throwing rocks in the creek to scare the fish and then he threw my friend’s bike in the creek. We were 13 at the time, my friend was crying and I felt so bad. I jumped into the creek and got his bike out, and told him we would get his brother back.
About a month later we were fishing again it was the dead of summer. I told my friend today is the day we get his brother back. I caught a 2/3 pound carp, threw it up on the side of the bank and left it there until we were done fishing. At the end of the night went back to his place. His brother’s car was sitting on the street. We took the carp, sliced it open and threw it under the driver’s seat and rolled his windows 3/4 up.
The next morning, we woke and I forgot about what we had done. Well, when I rode past JT’s car, I noticed the window was kind of black and when I took a closer look it was covered in flies. I actually got scared because I did not expect a window caked with flies. By the time I got home I was laughing in tears because his brother was always such a jerk to us.
Fast forward to baseball practice about 3 days later. My friend came to practice with a black eye but smiled at me when we made eye contact. His brother flipped out when he saw the fish, ran into his house and punched him in the face. His mom flipped out on his brother, and he was grounded for the rest of summer. His mom said that my friend would never do such a thing, and he played along and acted as if he had no idea. Apparently the smell never really left the car. We nicknamed his brother lord of the flies.”
Math Revenge On A Bully
“I was being bullied by this kid 2 years older than me in school, but I didn’t want to tell the teachers or my parents because I wanted to handle it myself. Anyway, he wasn’t hitting me or anything, he was just verbally harassing me during the day; but hey, I was fine with that, I had plenty of friends to hang out with and he was a lonely bully.
So we have to write a physics exam, and we all have those graphical calculators. You can write programs in them and archive them so a RAM reset can’t delete the programs, only a defaults reset can. Right before the exam, he came to me and told me to give him all the ‘cheat’ programs I had. Well, what he did not know is that I prepared one with wrong formulas for that jerk. When I transferred the program over to his calculator, I had a huge smile on my face. He got a 6 for that exam, which is equivalent to an F.
Sweet, sweet revenge.”
A Simple Comment With A Whole Lot Of Meaning
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“My girlfriend of 3 years that I dated through high school broke up with me during my first semester of college. We went to different schools, and I later learned she was hooking up with one of her guy friends there. Anyways, when we both were on break from school, she asked me to bring back all the stuff she had given me (presents, sweatshirts, cards, etc), so I drove to her house with all the things we’ve exchanged in the past 3 years.
Once I got to her house, I saw that she had invited all her friends over and they were sitting with her along with her parents in the garage. I walked up with her stuff and exchanged. Everyone there had that smirk on their face like they were laughing at me. I gave her back her things and said, ‘if only I could give back your maidenhood.’ The look on her parents’ faces was absolutely priceless, and I walked out of that lion’s den with the biggest smile on my face.”
Losing A Best friend and A Boyfriend At The Same Time
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“My best friend since I was 3 years old, started texting and flirting, then eventually sleeping with my boyfriend of 7 years.
He was apologetic, regretful, and begging for me back, as was she. It was a mistake they said, will never happen again, they said. Until it happened again. Well, my best friend had this obsessive relationship with this guy Billy, who was so heartbroken by her infidelity, he came to me. He felt like a loser having just lost both his girl and his job, so I hired him at my job where I was a manager.
We became good friends, and my now ex-best friend was going nuts. I then started a rumor that Billy and I were dating, and serious about it. She saw us in a car together, while I was bringing him home, and went nuts. She started texting me saying ‘how could you do this to me?! Why would you do this to me?!’ but I ignored them. I dipped off the road and dropped him off at home, and unfortunately had to fire him for stealing money from work.
All in all, I got my revenge. I got them all upset, but never actually did the horrible act of cheating that they did. But they all think I did, and I’m ok with that.”
Screwing Her Over By Simply Telling The Truth
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“11 years ago, I was working almost 24/7 and trying to deal with multiple deaths in the family over the period of a few weeks… no time for anything and going nuts trying to hold it all together. My (now) ex-girlfriend decided that she wasn’t getting enough attention and started messing around during ‘business trips.’ Eventually, I busted her flat out by recording a phone conversation of her talking with her friend about some great lovemaking in Florida with a bunch of guys and that was it. She knew I had the tape, so denial wasn’t an option. I decided to run with the truth, instead.
I left. I just left. I found a new place to live, and at that point, simply spread a few (documented) facts around. Not rumors, documented facts.
She was mishandling money at work (corporate/state/federal funds – bad news), misreporting consulting income on her taxes. I wrote to a couple of editors for publications showing where she’d plagiarized materials (we’re both academics). End of career.
When she was held up to paying me the equity in the house we owned, she pled poverty and then showed up for work in a new Corvette! A few months later she moved to California and refused any payout on the house, which was on the market. I called the mortgage company directly (something they’re not used to) and begged her new address out of them (they have the information and aren’t supposed to give it out but when I explained the situation the woman at the mortgage company give it to me). My lawyer carpet bombed my ex who simply assumed she could hide from it and I had a check in my hand within the week. So she was broke, discredited, in trouble with the IRS and her funding agencies. Good enough.
End result: Not quite a jail, but the end of her long-sought academic career and certainly the end of her credibility. Ten years on, she’s managing a research institute out west but nobody respects her as anything but an office stooge and money-fluffer at this point. Should I have pooped on the Corvette? Probably, but simply the telling the truth rocks sometimes.”
The Neighbor That Never Forgets
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“When I was around 13/14 I used to hang out with my 21-year-old neighbors. I didn’t realize at the time that all these guys would do is convince me to do stupid stuff then run away when I got in trouble. This continued until I was about 17 when I finally realized what was going on. I was furious and wanted revenge but by the time I thought up a plan these guys had moved. I decided I would make my move anyways. These guys were serious stoners and always had parties. I went to a party once and chilled in the back. In my car, I had 5 cartons of heavy whipping cream that I had purchased 6 months prior (I left them in the fridge until that day). I took each carton and poured one in each of the air vents in the house. I had one carton left over, so I poured it into the A/C unit (not sure if it did anything). The smell coming from the cartons was so rancid and disgusting I had to stop myself from barfing a few times. A few weeks later the house was up for sale, no one would buy it because of the smell though (or so I heard). They gave up on selling it and tried burning it down. After an investigation, the oldest brother was arrested for fraud and served 1 year in prison. I haven’t heard anything about them since.”
Message Of Regret Over Facebook
“In 2009 I deployed for a 6-month tour to the Helmand Province in Afghanistan. Running at least weekly missions from Leatherneck to Nowzad. We were the only unit that would run that route in the entire AO, it was that bad.
A month into the deployment, I was just getting 6 months into my first ‘real’ relationship. It was long distance, as I was stationed in North Carolina and she lived back home in New York. We were planning on getting married, but my Staff Sergeant gave me a little speech and I decided that it was best to wait until after the deployment.
She was already cheating on me 4 months into the relationship. I took it hard. It was all I thought about for 6 months while I waited to get back home. I had a bunch of her stuff, and she had some of mine. I never got any of my stuff back, but she had given me this tiny little dancer trinket to wear on my dog tags. Her mother had given it to her before she ran off, so it had some sentimental value to her.
Oh, and 5 months into my deployment, her new boyfriend who she left me for goes back to prison for probation violation. I got a message on Facebook that she ‘Just found out she’s six months pregnant, and it’s mine.’ There’s no way you ‘just find out you’re 6 months pregnant’ when you weigh 110 pounds soaking wet. It was a sham to get me back, there was no pregnancy.
6 months later, I arrived back home. I went to the Subway where she worked, and lo-and-behold she was working. I walked in, and she said ‘Welcome to Su…’ and cut off mid-sentence as she saw me, with a look of absolute horror on her face. I walked in, walked up to the counter, looked her dead in the eyes, set the dancer trinket on the counter, shook my head, and turned around and walked out. I could hear her crying before I got to the door.
I now have a great job, an amazing girlfriend, a sweet townhome and we’re about to get a dog. I’ve never blocked her on Facebook, I just don’t see her updates in my news feed. She’ll poke me every once and a while, but I never poke back. It’s nice to know that she can watch me be successful without her, and I know her life is in shambles. About once a year she tries to message me and ask me how I’m doing, but it usually ends with her going on some depressing rant about how she messed up and wishes she never cheated on me and left me.”
This Collateral Damage In Their Game
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“A buddy of mine posted an ad on CraigsList saying that I was selling my 2-year-old Vespa for $500. Obviously, that deal was not to be passed up so, throughout the day, I had about 50 people calling my cell home trying to buy my scooter. He finally took the ad down at the end of the day and we had a good laugh.
But I was plotting.
The next week, I went to google images and found some pictures of killer home entertainment systems and super-nice furniture and made a CraigsList ad stating that ‘I’m being deployed to Guam by the Army and my family is coming with me.’ I proceeded to list all of the items he was ‘selling’ and gave them crazy low, but not impossible, prices. Xbox games for $5 each. Flat screen for $150, etc. Enough to make it feel real, yet unpredictable. I added a photo of his house that I snagged from Google Streetview and said in the ad, ‘the sale starts Saturday morning at 4 am. Please don’t try to swing by on Friday as you’ll promptly be turned away. See you Saturday!’ He was awoken at 4 am on Saturday morning by a line of people all SUPER excited for the deal of a lifetime. He had to spend the rest of his Saturday morning trying to explain to people that it was all a joke and they needed to go home. Understandably, they were PISSED. I felt kind of bad for those people. They were collateral damage in our war.”
Jerk Customer Faking Injury For Money
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“One time when I worked in a small video store as an assistant manager. There was this one customer who was being a real jerk to the point where I got fed up and threw him out. He had been a jerk to every single other employee in the store, including our boss. He was just a mouthy harassing dude (it would take way too long to go into the details).
Anyway, I saw him in a little strip mall nearby one time and he was bragging to some guys about how he was cheating on his worker’s compensation. Then he pulled out this wad of cash and waved it under their noses like a Japanese fan. ‘I got all this free money from lying about my injured hand!’
Anyway, if you go into the blue pages of the phone book you’ll find this listing in all cap letters that says;
‘WORKERS COMPENSATION FRAUD HOTLINE’
Take a wild guess what video stores keep in their records? Full name, home address, and phone #. Not only did I turn this guy in, but was also able to provide great detail as to exactly how he was faking his injury as he explained it to his two friends.”
Father Of The Year!
“When I was in 1st grade there was this jerk that we’ll call Eric who essentially made my life miserable. He was constantly shoving me down, smacking me, or throwing things at me in class when the teacher’s back was turned. I often got in trouble for yelling at him or hitting him back, meanwhile, the sneaky guy was an angel in her eyes.
It was December, and the entire class was excited about two things: ‘Bring your dad to school’ day, and Christmas. Well, one day in class, our teacher was talking about Christmas and Santa Claus when Eric blurts out ‘Santa isn’t real! He’s just make believe for babies.’ The teacher tried to make him be quiet, but the damage was already done. The entire class was distraught, two girls actually had to leave the classroom because they were crying so much.
I got home and told my parents what Eric had said, and they convinced me that Santa was real and Eric was just a mean little boy. A few days passed without further incident, and it was time for ‘Bring your dad to school’ day. However, my Dad had canceled a few days before, saying that he had a really important meeting that he couldn’t afford to miss.
Well, the Dads all arrived to class shortly after lunch and were presenting briefly one-by-one when suddenly, who would burst into the classroom but Santa Claus. Letting out a big ‘HO HO HO!!!,’ the pudgy St. Nick strode into the classroom, hugged our teacher, and gave a brief presentation about elves and toy-making and his reindeer. He then went around the classroom giving all the kids mini-Reese’s, and right before he left, he said, ‘Say, which one of is you is Eric?’ The teacher pointed him out, and Santa went up to his desk and said something like ‘You know Eric, it’s not nice to tell people that I’m not real. If you keep being a naughty boy, you’ll be getting coal next week!’ Eric just looked back at him stunned and gave a sheepish nod. Santa then went and stood in the doorway, gave a cheery laugh, and right before he walked out looked me dead in the eyes and winked.
I was amazed and ran home telling my parents all about what had happened that day. Eric wasn’t as mean after that, and everything in the 1st grade was gumdrops and ice cream. It wasn’t until I was in high school that my mother revealed that the Santa Claus was actually my Dad. He had gone so far as to buy an expensive fat suit and mask in order to fool me and everyone else.”
When The Neighbor Keeps Parking In Dad’s Spot
“My dad used to live in an apartment building with assigned parking, as in every tenant had a designated space that only they were allowed to park in. Well, my dad would regularly come home to find someone else parked in his spot. He had asked this particular guy politely several times not to park in his spot and had even talked to the landlords who had done nothing about it, so one day he got home to find the guy parked in his spot again and decided enough was enough.
My dad had always worked on cars, ever since he was thirteen. He had a jack in his trunk and used that to jack the guy’s car up off its rear tires. It was a rear wheel drive car, which meant my dad now had control of the car. Using the jack, he pulled the car across the lot and left it somewhat hidden behind a dumpster. Then he let the car down, put away his jack, parked in his spot and went up to his apartment.
Later that day he got a knock on his door. It was a police officer with the inconsiderate neighbor behind him. The officer asked my dad what he had done with the neighbor’s car and my dad looked him right in the eye and said: ‘He parked in my spot and I’ve asked him several times not to do so, so I lifted his car up and set it over by the dumpster.’
Now, to give you an idea about my dad, he’s 6’5″ and back in the day was really well built. He also has only one eye, and the fake one he’s got has always been too small, giving him a constant ‘madman’ look. When he told the officer that he’d lifted the car and moved it himself and even pointed out where the car was through his apartment window the police officer’s eyes got as big as dinner plates. He turned to the neighbor and said: ‘Sir, I recommend you never park in this man’s spot again.’ Guy stopped parking in my dad’s spot after that.”
Be Fair And Square To Your Employees
“I worked at a place during college that served sandwiches and coffee. It was a cool place, a lot of people hung out there, and I liked everyone I worked with, but my boss was the biggest jerk in the world. One week on payday he got all the employees together and told us that we wouldn’t be getting paid that week and we would have to wait until next week. We were fine with that but when the next payday rolled around he didn’t have the money.
This went on for about a month. We were all working under the table and he told us that if we quit we would never get any of the money he owed us (we later found out he never planned on paying us). We found out he was blowing this cash on his pleasures. He stopped showing up to work for like 3 weeks, so it was just the employees running the store. In those three weeks, we gave away pretty much everything in the store for free. Literally emptied it out. Anyone who came in and ordered something got it for free. We even had a party there one night, open mic and everything.
So he finally showed up and he looked like he had been awake for a week straight. He came in freaking out, threatened to beat the crap out of us, started throwing things around. I was in the back and saw that he was double parked outside, so I called the campus towing company that was literally a block away. While he was freaking out at us one of the employees said, ‘Hey, your truck is getting towed.’ he ran outside and watched his Escalade get towed away. We all got out the back door and never looked back.”