Everyone loves to believe that they have a perfectly logical and acceptable reason for doing the things they do. I know I do, but that's because I'm always right! Unfortunately, "people" (not me) can't always be right. As a result, there are an abundance of situations where extreme measures are taken to defend a completely flawed view of reality. These situations usually end up with the offender having a figurative or literal "foot in mouth" result.
Apparently, being the bad guy is so common that Redditors have taken their guilty conscience to the internet to paint a picture of just how horribly wrong actually were. Content has been edited for clarity.
“You Gotta Go Buddy”
“I used to work security at a college bar and we would typically ask people to leave who were too wasted.
One night, I was posted up in the DJ booth because it was our normal shoulder to shoulder level of busy and I watched this guy start stumbling and drinking in a really weird way. I make my way over to him and tell him he has to leave because he is too far gone. He tries to tell me something but I can’t understand what he said because the music is so loud and he was slurring his words.
We get outside and he tells me that he has cerebral palsy which was pretty obvious after the fact – he was cool about it. I let him back in but I don’t think I have ever felt like a bigger tool than that night.”
Maybe That Was A Bit Too Aggressive?
“I was at a restaurant doing a coworker dinner thing when I noticed the woman at the next table was staring me down. Like, barely blinking, full-blown eye contact.
After a while, I started getting pretty agitated when my subtle social cues to stop staring at me went wholly ignored. After about 20 minutes of this, I had enough of this lady’s unsolicited rudeness, and I did the whole ‘Come At Me, Bro’ arms in the air move, thinking surely THAT would get my point across. I made a fairly big production of it.
Only then did I realize that the lady was completely blind.”
“His Face Just Crumpled Like A Paper Bag”
“I was in the fifth grade and there was this fat kid in class who had a very distinct and funny way of running (he waddled like a penguin). Everyone made fun of him but I always felt sorry for him, so I didn’t. His name was ‘Dino.’ Yeah, like in the Flintstones.
One day during PE we played ‘Shark.’ The class has to run from one end of the field to the other while a few of us ‘sharks’ tagged as many as we could. Usually only a few kids make it to the end.
That day, I was a shark. Most of the kids already got tagged or made it past the sharks, until I spotted Dino. He was near the end of the field. You could see he was running his hardest, really trying to make it, like his real life depended on it. Normally, all the kids made fun of Dino, but this day and that moment, everyone was CHEERING for him. Me, being a huge prick, run up to him but didn’t tag him right away. I jogged along next to him, smirking, keeping pace, looking at him in the face as he waddled his fastest. All the kids were cheering for him but I knew he wouldn’t make it. Just as he was about to cross, I tagged him.
I still remember his face to this very day. The way his face just crumpled like a paper bag. This silent but incredibly sad, intense but quiet sobbing. I felt so bad. I should have just let him go. Everyone felt bad. Everyone felt bad about everything we’ve said to this poor kid.
The next day, no one made fun of Dino anymore.”
Can Someone Disappear In Real Life?
“Two weeks ago, I was dropping someone off at Union Station. As I was exiting the parking lot, there was one of those gate things where you insert your ticket.
I inserted my ticket and the person behind me began honking. The gate was literally in the process of lifting up. I laid on the horn, screaming, ‘OKAY OKAY I’M GOING,’ but they kept honking. I hit the accelerator and zoomed off, flipping them off for good measure in a very obvious way (I drive a convertible so I put my hand right out the top), furious at them for honking at me to go when there was no way I could have gone any faster.
I exited and turned left. A few moments later, the same car exited and also turned left, and pulled up to me.
They put down their window, and I put down mine.
The lady in the other car said, ‘You left your coffee mug on the back of your car.’
She wasn’t even mad.
I was totally shocked; I looked behind me and sure enough, I had set my tumbler on the top of the trunk, and she had been honking to try to let me know.
I turned red, burst out laughing, told her I was so sorry for being a prick, pulled over, and got my cup. Could not BELIEVE what a prick I had been and how coolly she responded to the whole thing.”
“We Stole The Cat”
“I got a kitten. My roommate wanted a kitten but couldn’t afford the $100 to get one. That should’ve been the first red flag but whatever. I got her a kitten for her birthday. She proceeded to lose interest and not give him attention or take care of him. When the kittens got ear mites, I paid the $300 to clear them up. I paid for her cat’s food, water, litter, licensing, vaccinations, neutering, and microchip. As a result of all that, everything was in my name. I made sure the babies always had food and water and clean litter. I trimmed their nails. I bought the toys, the cat tree, etc.
Well, my roommate was from out of state and took the kitten home with her over winter break. She didn’t stay on top of the cat’s nails. Two of his toes are half formed— and they grow between his thumb and the first toe, but they are just claws and not a full toe. If you don’t stay on top of trimming them they will grow into his paw pads. I paid the vet bill to treat his ingrown/impacted nails. The most heartbreaking part happened when she came back. This once sweet cat, was straight up mean. I’m not sure how he was mistreated, but I’m pretty sure he was.
When the lease was up, I was moving in with my boyfriend. I moved my clothes and cat first, and had been gone for about a week before coming back for the big stuff and to clean. Her cat had been without food and water for at least four days. The litter box was filthy. Just completely neglected while I had been gone. So in that first load that had my bed, tv, Xbox, other expensive stuff.
We stole the cat. Took him in the cat carrier (pretty much the only thing related to him she bought) and took him to my new place to be with his kitty sister. This happened first thing in the morning, maybe 8 am. At 4 pm, I get a text from her asking if i took her cat carrier. It was another hour before she even realized the cat was gone. She came unglued on me and assaulted my boyfriend and I when we came back for the last load. But I can’t say I feel bad about stealing that sweet kitty. This was all almost two years ago and the little orange dude is back to his sweet self. He’s my bud and he loves to lay on me and make bread. He’s also best friends with our one year old lab.”
Can’t Sit Here!
“So about a year ago, I was on a long international plane flight. I always book the aisle seat because I have a GI disorder that means I sometimes have to get to the bathroom with very little notice, so being trapped in a middle or window seat is suboptimal.
I get all seated for my flight, which is the second leg of probably 12+ hours worth of travel, and I’m so exhausted I start to nod off before boarding is even finished. I’m awakened by a man politely asking if he can have my seat. Groggily, I explain that, ‘No, sorry, I set it up this way because of an illness I have.’ Then, I get up so he can have the window seat (it was a small flight, so no middle seat, at least). The nerve of some people, right? If you wanted the aisle seat, why didn’t you just choose it beforehand, random dude? The world doesn’t revolve around you!
Well, about three hours into the flight I wake up again, feeling slightly more human, and end up in conversation with my rowmate. And within about five minutes, I discover that, no, he wasn’t asking to switch seats, he was telling me that I was in his seat. Apparently the airline had switched who was seated where so that he could be closer to his wife and daughter, who were sitting across the aisle. I hadn’t looked at my electronic boarding pass since going through security, so I didn’t notice the change. I apologized profusely and offered to switch immediately, but the poor guy just said it was okay and declined. Ugh! This middle-aged guy clearly had no idea what to do about a small early-20’s-something girl, who looks more like a 12-year-old than anything, telling him he couldn’t have his assigned seat.”
“Your Privilege Is Showing”
“My biology 101 class was huge. Almost 1,000 students. During one of our tests, I noticed a girl kept pulling out a device to cheat. I was incredulous. This is so unlike me, but TWICE, I reached over and gently pressed down on the device and said “No. that’s wrong.” She kept using it. I finished before her and when I was leaving my seat, I said something really snarky to her about it. A few days later, I was still mad. I told the teacher about it but before I could finish, she interrupted me with ‘Oh. That was you?’ She said it in the most spiteful tone. Apparently, English was the girl’s second language and the device was her translator.
She reported my actions to the professor and was in tears. I then received a lecture from the professor about being more open minded to other cultures and how not everyone is privileged like me. It’s 15 years later and I still feel HORRIBLE about it. I wanted to (and still want to) apologize so badly, but the class was so huge, I never saw the girl again. I mean it’s bad enough that I acted so forward and egregiously, and that I didn’t take into account her circumstances may be different than mine, but it kills me even more that she was trying to do her best and some prick next to her kept telling her she’s ‘wrong.’”
Insert Foot In Mouth
“I went to a friend of a friend’s house to chill. Nice kid, but his house is crazy dirty – dishes stacked to the ceiling, laundry strewn like carpeting, old take out food bags from a ton of places everywhere, bags of garbage just laying in piles in the kitchen. The place stunk to high heaven and I had trouble getting comfortable.
Later, I commented on how dirty the place was to my friend. I think my exact words to my friend were, ‘Man, I don’t get how somebody even lives like that.’
Turns out the guy’s mom has cancer, and the guy has to help take care of her and his younger sibling, all while being a typical teenage boy. I felt awful for judging.”
A Little Intense For A Prank, No?
“I was the assistant manager of a fast food place in college. A bunch of punk-rocker-looking guys my age came in to eat, around the same time as some soccer moms with little kids. One of the punk rock kids was pretty intimidating: easily a foot taller than me and built like an athlete. They were all perfectly nice when they ordered their food, but once they got their cups to fill up their drinks, the big guy started screaming and cursing extreme profanities at the top of his lungs.
The moms all looked horrified. I’m ordinarily quite averse to conflict, so I was quite proud of myself when I marched around the counter and got right up into this big dude’s face. I looked him straight in the eye and told him that if he had a problem acting like a normal human being, he needed to get out of my restaurant.
He looked back at me and almost started crying. He whispered ‘I’m sorry’ and turned and walked away. He looked absolutely destroyed, and his friends followed him trying to console him.
Either that dude legitimately had Tourette’s, or the whole group of them was pulling a prank and were the absolute best actors I have ever seen.”
It Was Just Awkward For Everyone In Attendance
“I was at a Starbucks, sitting outside, along with a number of other people.
A gym-rat looking guy starts drawing attention to himself and pointing at people saying: ‘Is that white chevy over there your car?!’ After a couple of these a guy sitting near me says, ‘Yeah, that is my car.’
Gym rat (righteously): ‘You are a royal tool for parking in a handicapped spot! How can you be so selfish when someone who needs that spot might show up at any time? For all you know, he already drove through the parking lot, couldn’t find a space, so he headed back home empty handed. Blah blah.’
Car owner: ‘Sorry. I’m handicapped, but I forgot to hang the tag when I left the car.’
Gym rat: ‘Oh, really?’
At this point the car owner, who had been sitting down and showed no signs of handicap, stands up. The guy is bent in half, like his spine is fused in a 90 degree angle. He looked perfectly normal sitting down. ‘OK, OK, I’ll go to the car and hang the tag.’
Gym rat, upon seeing him stand: ‘Oh, ah, sorry. You don’t have to do that.’
The car owner slowly and uncomfortably walks the 40 feet to his car, opens the door, fumbles to hang the tag, then ambles his way back to his seat, rigidly bent the entire time.”
All He Could Say Was “Oops!”
“I was waiting at a red light and this white van came behind me and started honking the horn. Breaking the red light is quite common in my country so I thought maybe he’s just suggesting that we both skip the light and go. Being the good samaritan, I am did not budge. But the van kept honking the horn until the light went green soon after. So I started moving and then since I was so ticked off I slowed down my car right in front of the van, then would speed up and slow down again in the fast lane.
Eventually, after I felt I had punished them enough I changed lanes and let them pass and decided to stare at them to show dominance. As the van passed by me I saw in bold red letters on its side written ‘Ambulance’ and I could see a family in there crying and the driver giving me judgmental looks. I gave an, ‘Oops. I’m sorry’ look back at them.
To be fair though they should have had a siren or the words written in the front of the ambulance. But still.”
Boys Can Be Harassed?
“Ugh I was crazy obsessed with a boy whilst at school and remember doing all this stuff too. We had late night rehearsals one evening, and I decided to carve ‘Guy’s Name is hot, I want to see him in the shower’ on one of the benches in the quad.
The next morning there’s a big debacle. He’s at the bench, and just standing and looking at it, this look of complete and utter confusion and then distress on his face. His friends were freaking out, and one of them went to wood shop to borrow a sander, and they sanded it off the bench.
I heard through friends that he’d been ‘deeply disturbed’ by it, and considered it harassment. I was 16, and didn’t realize then that boys even could be harassed. I laughed it off, told everyone he should man up. I acted all hurt that he hadn’t appreciated what I’d said.
It took me AGES to realize I HAD actually inappropriately harassed him, he was well within his right to be shaken up, and that I had acted like a complete prick.”
Well, That Was Awkward
“I used to work at Disney on Big Thunder Mountain. They’re all about efficiency and moving people through as quickly as possible, so you’re trying to unload people, load more, check 15 rows of lap bars and then pushing the button to start in about 45 seconds.
When you check lap bars, you just quickly walk alongside the train saying ‘push up on your lap bars please’ and motioning with your hands and trying to keep moving, barely making eye contact with the guests. You’re supposed to ask a guest 3 times before touching the lap bar yourself so it ends up being a ‘Push up on your lap bars please? Can you push up on that lap bar? Just push up on that lap bar for me’, as quickly as you can so you can check it for them and keep moving.
So it’s a busy day and we’re already running a little slow. I’m doing the check, get to a car with the lap bar still up so I make it through routine, again not really making eye contact, then go to move this guest’s lap bar for them.
This person had no arms. Just staring at me. I was still trying to move quickly so I don’t even remember if I apologized or not, but my “flight” set on fight or flight kicked in and I got that train out of there at lightning speed. Definitely blocked that one out of my memory for a while.”
“Sorry, Do I Know You?”
“Once, when I was about 20, I was with my boyfriend at a big station here in Melbourne this guy came up to me all happy and calling my full name like I was an old friend. I couldn’t remember who he was. Like no clue, not an ounce of recognition was in my soul for this person.
I replied, ‘Sorry, how do I know you?’ expecting him to just laugh and clear it up, then I’d face palm like ‘omg I’m an idiot! Of course! You’re prancing Leon from that time we found unicorns and tamed them’. But no. His face fell further than a drop from Mount Everest and the sadness on his face hit my heart harder than a haymaker. He fled from me, like actually low key ran to get out of there.
I was mortified, he looked like he wanted to legit commit suicide on the spot. I turned to my boyfriend expecting a ‘that was weird’ face but his eyes were not crumpled in confusion they were wide with the incredulousness of ‘why didn’t you just pretend you knew him!!’.
To this day I think about that person and wonder how they’re doing. If I knew who they were I’d send them a letter so they know I have PTSD over my reaction that caused their reaction that day.”
“I Was The Bad Guy In A Mom’s Gossip Circle”
“For a short time I was the bad guy in a mom’s gossip circle. In high school, my best friend called me and told me that his mother was mad at me. I asked why, and he said she’d told him that I had asked a girl to prom, but stood her up. At that point, I’d never even asked anyone on a date.
I asked him to put her on the phone, so I could ask her where she’d heard that. She told me the girl’s mother.
I called the girl’s mother. She told me she’d heard it from her daughter.
I told her I wanted to apologize to her daughter and she let me talk to her. I did apologize in case I’d done anything to hurt her or lead her on. She told me that the guy who had asked her out had the same first name as me. I guess everyone assumed the last name.”