From throwing them out of the house in extremely cold weather, to changing house locks on the spot, 45 people share their reaction when they walked in on their partner cheating.
[Source can be found at the end of the article.]
“MY bed, in MY apartment”
My ex, in MY bed, in MY apartment. I didn’t say anything for a good 5-10 seconds, just let them stare at me awkwardly. Then I said “all right, three-way.” and started to strip. Never have I seen a dude get dressed and disappear so fast. She followed him shortly after once I had my apartment key back in my possession. Haven’t seen/heard from her since.
“Does he like pancakes?”
Came home early from visiting a buddy so I could surprise my gf, I was the one that got the surprise
Found her and a dude asleep in my bed…calmly walked up to the side of the bed, gently woke her up and asked if she wanted pancakes. She must not have realized what was going on, said: “Hey baby, sure”.
I said “What about him? Does he like pancakes?”
The look on her face was worth every second of the shit storm that kicked up after that.
“A Naked Dude In Our Bed”
I walked into to find a naked dude in our bed, she was in the bathroom. It was a really surreal experience. The guy was a mutual friend and the entire scenario was completely 100% unexpected. I had come home unexpectedly and parked behind him, so I had to move my car so he could leave. I was just sort of in a daze the entire time. Obviously things didn’t last long after that. You typically envision yourself kicking some dude’s butt in such a situation but when it happens – especially with no prior expectation – it’s just so weird you’re locked up by confusion.
“Yours, Mine and Ours”
Left the bar we were at (together, I might add) to get some fresh air outside with a friend we were with. Came back in and saw her kissing some dude at the bar. Friend looks at me, very confused. Not wanting to cause a scene, I had us go back outside. Came back in when they were done, got everyone home where they needed to be safely, called her and broke up with her.
Granted, we weren’t working out and I was looking for an excuse to break up with her, but it still sucked.
“Ok it’s on”
I left on a Wednesday afternoon to go out of town for work until Friday night. She wasn’t working that day so I kissed her goodbye and left figuring that she’d probably crash at my place while I was gone. Once I got on the road I realized I left my paint meter (I was going to an auto auction in PA) at the house so I turned around and went back to grab it. I guess I was gone an hour? Anyhow, I get home and there’s a strange car in the driveway… I enter the house quietly, grab the paint meter that I had left by the door, hear her clearly having sex with some guy…. Ok it’s on. I walk outside, snap a pic of his car in my driveway and leave.
I sneak back out, call a friend of mine who works construction, he gets me in touch with his friend the locksmith. The next morning after she leaves for work the locks are changed.
That night I get a panicked phone call, many of them. I ignore them. The next morning I text her a pic of his car, told her the locks were changed and to not bother calling me or texting me as she was now blocked.
“They Were Naked In January”
I screamed that there was a fire. Locked them out of the house. They were naked in January in Hungary. -30 celsius. Happened 20 years ago.
“Won’t Be Needing This Anymore”
Walked in on fiancé in bed with a friend of hers she met while I was away. The engagement ring was on the nightstand next to them. I just calmly walked over, picked up the ring, said “looks like we won’t be needing this anymore” walked out, returned the ring, went home, punched a hole in the garage wall.
“Who Will Get the Dog”
I walked in on my wife of a few weeks with her coworker. Numb shock. I felt the same as when my friend died. Stunned and realizing my life was going to vastly change in that instant. I thought about my future, who will get the dog, where am I going to live. It took a day before the overwhelming sadness kicked in and I had a good cry.
“It Was Very Bizarre”
It was actually at a bar. I spotted him with another girl about a dozen yards away sharing wine and an appetizer. I went up to them and was just like “Hi, uh, I thought you were at Joe’s tonight?” He just kinda looked at me dumbfounded and went “Oh, hi, this is [my name], this is Laura”. It was VERY bizarre and we all just stared at each other for a minute before he had the balls to say “we are just finishing up here but I’ll come to your apartment later.”
“It’s The Lying”
I went into the other room and cried. Later, I talked with her a lot to try to figure out what happened and learned over a period of months that the problem with cheating isn’t the sex at all. It’s the lying that happens before and after.
Then I did a tremendous amount of research trying to make sense of the world again.
“A Part Of Me Knew”
A part of me knew he had been cheating on me with her. Intuition is actually what made me show up at the house. I walked in on them watching a movie together in his room and saw them, I said “hey girl. how are you?” and smiled at her.
She responded back with “Hey. I’m good.” in her shy mousey voice. Then I told them what happened in the movie followed by “its a really funny scene. Hope I didn’t spoil it for you.” Then I asked boyfriend at the time if I could talk to him outside. He said sure and followed me out to the side of the house and I calmly said “What you are doing isn’t fair to me.” He said, “I know..” Then I proceed to lose my temper.
“Went Through His Phone”
Wouldn’t take my phone calls or respond to text messages while I was at work. Looked and found his online dating profile. Came home, went through his phone. Had been cheating on me with multiple women. Sent and received nudes. Went to their houses. Took pictures of MY house and sent them to women claiming it was his and he “just bought it.” He didn’t respond that day because he had a date with a girl at Walmart. Woke him up after I went through his phone and told him I knew. His response, “this couldn’t wait until the morning?”
“Girl Who Would Freak Out”
Walked in, saw them, said “oh my God” in a disgusted manner, and have NEVER GOTTEN OUT OF ANY PLACE FASTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. It’s funny I always thought of myself as the kind of girl who would freak out and scream and yell but when it happened I was so embarrassed and didn’t want them to see my face or me at all.
She Left In Tears
I waited for her to come home from work all night. I get a call that she is going to her bestie’s apartment to hang (she forgot her phone at my house) but it’s been the same thing over and over so I don’t buy it. I sat there waiting and wondering if I was ready for the truth. Just because you know it’s happening doesn’t mean you’re ready for it let alone ready to believe it when you see it. I gathered what little self I had left at this point and I got in my car and drove to her work. I didn’t know what to expect nor how I’d react. I brought her phone for some reason. I was near her work and was far enough to see 1 car in the lot but it was later than they had closed and nothing else was open so I knew what was next. I circled through the drive through which wrapped around behind her work building (Starbucks). I came out to see his black charger and they were standing against it making out. I stopped near them with my window down and said “you forgot your phone again” and threw it out the window, it smashed on the pavement. I drove off back home.
She arrived with him 10 minutes later and her stuff was bagged and on the street (I was more ready than I thought). She tried to talk but I iced her. She called the cops but nothing of hers was inside so they didn’t let her in. She left in tears and I kept on keeping on.
“My Employees In My Bed
I had a guy who lost his job almost immediately after we started dating, who I financially supported in every way for 4 years, cheat on me with one of my employees in my bed, in the apartment I paid for.
When I came home early for work, I kicked her out (employee, and no I did not fire her) and tried to remain calm as I told my ex to pack his stuff and go. He kept saying he had nowhere else, and begging to stay just for the night so we could talk. I lost my temper and punched him the mouth. He left after that, but not before destroying all of my legal documents (SS card, birth certificate) and calling my family (who loved him for some reason) in front of me, apologizing to them and essentially trying to make them guilt trip me into keeping him around (which they did).
Turns out, it had been going on for a long time, almost as long as we’d lived together. I was single for YEARS after that.
“Said She Missed Me”
I started packing my stuff after surprising them in our bedroom. My girl was hysterical and running around crying and tugging on me looking like a dying, tearful muppet.
I gave the guy a “its all good” look, and packed up all my shit and was gone that night and fully out within 2 days.
According to bestie this set off in her some wild whorish cycle that she has yet to recover from. Saw her recently. She asked if we could talk, said she missed me, started crying, and she tried to sleep with me.
“Had Her As A Waitress”
About 14 years ago, I caught a girl I was dating for about 6 months blowing some guy in a bedroom at a party we went to. I walked in, saw her and said “well, we’re pretty much done.” turned and walked out.
I was walking out of the house and she chased me down. She started yelling at me that it was my fault I caught her and I shouldn’t be mad because she was trying to hide it.
My wife and I had her as a waitress last year and she’s still mad at me. She walked to our table, saw it was me and walked off. About 2 minutes later a different person was our server.
“Called The Number And Told His Wife”
I had come home from working out of town and when I pulled up to the driveway there was an unfamiliar car parked in what would normally be where I parked. I didn’t think much of it and thought it might be my ex-wife’s sister. So I parked right behind it.
I walked in through the door, checked the mail and yelled that I was home. The bedroom door slammed shut and I still didn’t think too much about it as it was a few weeks before Christmas and thought they were wrapping presents.
After a few minutes, I finally walked back to the bedroom and knocked on the door. My ex-wife yelled back and said, “just a minute”. After a few moments I knocked, and again was greeted with “just a minute” but this time there was a tone in her voice that made me believe something was up. I quickly reached up and grabbed the emergency key and unlocked the door. There was my ex-wife half naked and the French doors, leading to outside, were wide open.
I immediately started to interrogate her, asking her who is he, what’s his name. She wouldn’t give it up. I continued on asking and probing, over and over. She finally gave me his first name and refused to give me his last name. So I immediately got on the phone with a close work friend of hers and asked her friend if she knew his last name and what street did he live on. After obtaining this information I looked up his information and got his home phone number.
I called the number and told his wife, now ex-wife, what just happened. She said it couldn’t be true. I told her that if she wanted the license plate number from his car, I would give it to her. At that time she finally realized that what I was saying was true and she asked for my phone number and said she would call me in the next day or two. After I hung up the call, I gathered up his belongings, shoes and shirt, put them on top of his car, moved my car (I had him blocked in) and yelled out into the darkness of night and told him by name to “get the hell out of here”. About ten minutes later I heard his car start up and he left.
“Weirdest 5 Minutes Of That Year”
Went to her apartment. Saw her having sex with some guy I’d never seen before. Before I can say anything, she says “It isn’t what it looks like!”
I crack up – who the hell even says that when they’re caught cheating? While I’m laughing, I manage to ask her what it is if it’s not what it looks like. After a little bit where she tries to come up with an excuse, I tell her we’re through and walk out.
Weirdest 5 minutes of that year.
“Closed The Door On Her”
I just left and cut all contacts to her, her friends, and her family. She then 6 months later came knocking on my door asking for me back. I opened the door looked her in the eyes as she was crying, begging for a second chance. I didn’t say anything and just closed the door on her.
“Boyfriend Had Two Other Girlfriends”
I was in college, dating a football player at a school where football is king. I had never dated an athlete before, and of course I had heard warnings, but he just seemed so nice, and he was cute and fun and I was naive. One night I decided to stop by his dorm room as a surprise. I get there and there is a girl in the hall, crying and banging on his door. I ask her what is up. She explains to me that SHE is his girlfriend, but he has locked himself in his dorm room with another woman, and she is devastated at catching him cheating like this. So in other words, in one moment, I found out my boyfriend had TWO other girlfriends at the same time! I was upset but really, I just had to laugh. Ok life, you got me. Never again. It was a great learning experience.
“End Of My Rope”
I couldn’t lash out. I couldn’t be angry. I was just in shock that someone I loved and trusted could do that to me.
My most recent ex confessed to cheating on me. I’ve yet to have a girl not cheat on me and I’m at the end of my rope.
“Why Bother Being Mad”
I came home from work and opened my door to find my wife asleep in a pile people. Some I knew some I didn’t, so I laughed. I then sorted through a beer bottle and ashtray deluge, got my cat, and left. She woke up in time to follow my truck through the parking lot. I moved on, that was it. Why bother being mad, all it does is hurt you more.
“I Just Walked Away”
I didn’t walk in on them I caught them at a hotel at 3:30 am 3 days before our nine year anniversary. I banged on the door and threatened them. No one opened the door and I could hear them whispering to each other somewhere in the room. She was freaking out. Crying but trying to muffle the sound. I could hear her telling her side action that I was going to kill them both. I didn’t. I told them they could have each other and I just walked away. I didn’t talk to her after that. One day after all that one of her friends told me that the guy she was in there with snuck out a back window leaving her for dead after I’d left thinking I was still there trying to find a way to get in.
“Drove Him To The Hospital”
I walked in on her, got pissed and broke his arm in 2 places and kicked her out. I then drove him to the hospital because I felt bad. After they put a cast on him we went back to my place drank beer and watched the game. To this day he’s one of my best damn friends.
Walked in on an ex and a good mutual friend having sex on the couch. Granted, we were all drunk (there were also others in the house, this was a party enviroment), but I felt that didn’t really excuse the incident. Before this happened, I’d always imagined if it did I’d be really angry/upset/violent, cause it just seemed like the normal way to act. How did I actually react?
I started giggling madly, threw my whisky into the air and proceeded to run around the party saying to every girl “I need a quick shag, who’s keen”. Good times. Good times.
“Never Saw Him Again”
I caught my boyfriend of 4 years cheating on me with my ex-best friend. I walked in on them in my house. I just stood there in shock and they just laid on the bed speechless. I turned around and walked out the door. I was almost to my car and he came running out apologizing. I asked how long it had been happening. He paused for a minute and then said “6 months”. I just got in my car and went home to my dad’s. The next day he came to my dad’s house asking to get some stuff he had kept there. My dad walked out to greet him with a shotgun in hand and told him to get off his property before he blew his kneecap off. Never saw him again. Although I did hear he got married has 5 kids and cheated on his wife. Now divorced.
“Laughing As I Walked Away”
Was dating a guy who lived in the same apartment as me named Dave. He was dating this girl Cara when we met so we were only friends, but we just had this chemistry between us that was insane. A couple weeks later he broke up with Cara. A couple more weeks pass and he kisses me. We start seeing each other more often after that. There was a big football game on, probably an FSU game, and we had about 10 people over to watch it. Dave was running late because “he had to work late”. He walks in the door and one of his buddies yells, “hey man, how was Cara’s?”
I look at Dave, he looks at me. I turn to the TV and sit there for a couple minutes. Then I left. The next day he caught me as I was walking to my car. I turned to him and very casually told him we should just be friends, then I winked, said “bada-bing” and “shot” him with each of my pointer fingers.
I just started laughing as I walked away because I had never done that before and I honestly just thought it was really funny. Then I went home and cried like a bitch.
“I Knew He Was In There”
I showed up at a party and all of his friends were acting weird and wouldn’t tell me where my bf was. When I tried to get in a room, they blocked my way. I knew he was in there. I got past his friends and opened the door. There was my boyfriend of 4 years, naked, with a naked chick on top of him.
I grabbed her by her hair and yanked her off of him and onto the floor. Then I picked her up by her hair, slammed her face into the wall and dragged her out to the party. I left her naked on the floor.
I went back to the room, yelled at him and then left the party. On the way out I ripped his side view mirror off and threw a rock at his windshield.
I’ve since learned how to deal with my anger.
“We Bonded Over Groceries!”
I brought home groceries one evening after work, and found my boyfriend have sex with what I think was his co-worker. I only ever met her once. Mind you, this is in my apartment, in MY bed – which just made everything that much worse (he still lived with his parents at the time).
The entire scenario became extremely stupid after that. I dumped an entire gallon of milk all over them and chucked everything humanly possible within grabbing range. Looking back, it was kind of awesome clocking the chick in the head with a package of hot-dogs, and no matter how soft bread is, it hurts when you throw a loaf of it squarely at someone’s dick.
They left half-naked, in the snow. I never returned their belongings they left behind. He’s now married to her, so I’m sure they can tell their kids “we bonded over groceries!”.
“I’m So Happy That They Did It That Night”
I walked in on my longtime live in boyfriend and my really good friend having sex in my bed. It was so strange, zero emotion. I just walked through my bedroom, and started pulling my clothes out of the closet in silence. She was mortified, apologizing.
I said, “Don’t worry about it. He’s your problem now.”
Packed up everything that was important to me, walked out, never came back.
Moved in with my girlfriends and my life changed RADICALLY for the better. He wasn’t an evil person, just a profoundly stupid loser that I thought was cool when I was 16 (he was 21). We lived together for 2 super lame years. She did me a gigantic favor.
She went on to have multiple kids by multiple fathers. She had sex our other best friends fiance. After having all of those kids she wound up going back to and marrying my ex. Who now supports those kids on his Walgreens stockboy wages. The same job he had when I met him nearly 30 years ago.
I wish them both well. And I’m so glad I’m not either of them.
Seriously, I’m so happy that they did it that night. We would have broken up eventually, but I might have wasted a few more years on that giant NULL of a relationship.
“Out On Deployment”
I was in the Navy and was out on deployment for 6 months after just recently getting engaged (it’s one of those stupid things that young military guys do). One day I get a letter from my fiance’s best friend telling me that she caught my fiancee and her BF together (this was years before email and smartphones were common). We write back and forth several times and eventually it comes out how she caught them, how my fiancee begged her not to tell me, and that the fiancee didn’t know that we were corresponding.
I eventually get back to the States and planned to play it off as though I didn’t know, but too many of my friends intercepted me with the news that is wasn’t just the one guy, but several, and let me know that she knew that I was aware. Eventually, we met, and the confrontation was minimal and tame. We broke off the engagement without a lot of drama – she kept the ring.
“A Really Awful Experience”
I was out for a friend’s birthday and boyfriend was out with his friends but supposed to meet up with us. We were texting but his replies got drunker until he just stopped replying. So last call happens and I go back with my friend to her place which was just down the street from my boyfriends apartment. I’m drunk and I know he’s drunk so I decided to head to his place so I can surprise him.
I straight walked in on him with some chick naked on top of him. There was lots of yelling and he tried to blame it on me. I will never forget the sight of him naked in the kitchen trying to hide his junk while telling me I made him cheat.
He also tried to tell me he couldn’t get it up so he never really had sex with her.
All in all, it was a really awful experience and it made me incredibly insecure for the next few years. Also jealous. It really messed with my next few relationships.
“What The Hell Are You Still Doing Here?”
I walked in after a 10-hour shift at work. They were on the couch she was under him. I walked into the kitchen grabbed a class of something to drink. Walked back into the living room. I told him to stay a bit because she would need help moving out. I told her to pack her shit. Then I sat down in my chair and turned on the TV. It took all of an hour for her to get her shit. The dude left immediately. She balled her eyes out while sitting at my feet. Commercials came on and I looked at her and asked: “what the hell are you still doing here?”
I shut down. It was a strange feeling. For a moment in my life, I just didn’t care
“College Had Some Great Memories.”
My buddy was dating a girl for a year. Came back to her apartment one night and found a dude in her bed with her.
So he did the only logical thing, pissed all over them and then forced himself to puke on them all before they woke up.
Man college had some great memories.
“I Still Have My Pooch!”
I walked in on my best friend having sex with my fiance. I knew something was up when I came home and my dog ran up to me crying. I kicked them both out; luckily I still have my pooch! I love that guy.
“Ok Don’t Lose It”
Came home early from nightshift to find her in bed with what I originally thought might have been her mom. I walked up to the bed to make sure the alarm was set, and noticed that either her mum was a lot hairier than I thought or it was a guy. So I sat down on the edge of the bed, turned the side lamp on thinking “ok don’t lose it”. Turned the bedside lamp on, turned the radio on the alarm clock up to max volume. She opens her eyes, and looks up, looks over the other side of the bed, the dude is starting to wake up. I just look at her, shake my head sadly, got up and left. Didn’t say a word. Left everything in the house and started anew.
“Cheating Was The Easiest Way”
I got a phone call from my boyfriend’s friend, who’s girlfriend had apparently been sleeping over at my boyfriend’s place a lot lately, informing me of the situation. I drove over and the roommates let me in; they apparently also knew what was going on.
I walked in, confirmed the two were naked together, walked out. Took a minute to start breathing again. He managed to put clothes on and came out to talk to me. I threw my keys at him. There was shouting. I went back home. He came over later and wanted to talk. We talked. Apparently, cheating was the easiest way to break up with me without having to break up with me; even he admitted it was a coward’s act.
And then I didn’t eat for 5 days. A few weeks later I caught a bad case of the flu. I lost my voice and was stuck in bed for two weeks, which in retrospect was the perfect excuse to lay around in self-pity and get the immediate sadness out.
After that, I dated a disaster of a human for two years. Took me a few years after that to digest the hurt I felt. Even now, occasionally my husband will make an offhand comment or act a certain way that makes me think back to that time I was cheated on. It makes me question my faith in him for absolutely no good reason.
I get that people make mistakes and nobody is perfect, but cheating is a really cruel thing to do to someone you supposedly care about.
7 Months Pregnant
I was pregnant with my oldest daughter and had extreme pain one day, so I came home early from work. When I get home I see two purses that I knew weren’t mine sitting on the stand. I head to my room to see if my then boyfriend could explain the purses; I’m hearing noises coming from our room. I opened the door to peek in and he is having a threesome. I close the door and just go back into the living room. I was shocked. I was supposed to be on bedrest, but I was the only one who had a job, so I was going to school and working while he got to stay home all day.
I was livid, but what was scary is that I was so furious that I remained calm. I went into the living room, sat on the couch and waited for them to come out; when they finally did I asked them if they had fun? Told them they needed to get out of my apartment. He tried to talk to me, but I told him he needed to get out. I calmly packed off of his stuff up, had a friend come over because I couldn’t do heavy lifting being 7 months pregnant and dropped his stuff off at his parents’ house that night. It’s still shocking to me that I remained so calm being that angry.
“One Of The Worst Memories Ever.”
Walk upstairs, he’s walking out of his room in his boxers and closes the door behind him, tells me he’s late for work and still has his hand on the door knob and won’t let go. I already know why.
I put my hand over his on the knob and he just looks at me, sighs and sort of runs down the stairs. I open the door and just see a heap of blankets and the comforter (I had just given him for Christmas) in the shape of a person. I pull the comforter off, see a naked girl half-awake.
I turn around, run downstairs and see his mom on the couch reading the newspaper (yes, he did this while he was still living at home). I ask her where he went. She can tell I’m pretty hysteric and asks me what’s wrong. I tell her I need to know where he went. She points to the bathroom. I run to it and it’s locked. I take out my bobby-pin from my hair, unlock it and jiggle open the door. I pitifully start hitting his chest while crying and he’s just standing there. Then I realize I just need to get out of there, so I run for the front door but his mother (totally unaware of what’s going on) is standing in the door frame, not letting me by until I tell her what’s wrong. I run under her arm and out the door to school. Ugh, one of the worst memories ever.
“I Still Love Her.”
I had been suspicious for a little while. I was away for work, we had fought on the phone the night before because I was suspicious. I came home the next day unscheduled, to apologize and make her a nice dinner before she went in to night shift, feeling like a jerk for doubting.
I pull on to our road and there’s a strange car in the driveway. I walk into the house and into my bedroom, and there’s a strange person in my bed (they were both sleeping, and pajama clothed). I shook her awake, said, “what the heck?” and left. She caught me on the porch and we argued. I left so he could leave without me being compelled to violence. Came back and talked more.
I found out he had slept there several times when I was out working, she to this day won’t admit to sex. Gave her the diamond earrings I had bought for her birthday the next week, then moved out a couple weeks later. We tried to work it out but because I was no longer willing to overlook things it died out when I finally got so depressed I shut down. Seems like a good use of 8 years.
The worst part, I still love her.
I actually walked up on them in the apartment pool. He was just humping away, totally oblivious that I had walked up and was standing there in shock. She finally saw me and swam away from him.
Nothing exciting happened. He tried to do the whole “it’s not what it looks like” crap. I gave him a good hit to the face. She hid from me because she knew damn well who I was and we had even hung out before
Worst part was… I had been staying with my parents for the week prior because I’d had surgery and he was too busy with work to care for me. I insisted on going home early to surprise him, even though I wasn’t quite well yet.
“Broke All the Plates”
Woke up to him banging my friend next to me in the same bed.
Got up, put my clothes on and drove home, broke all the plates in my kitchen.
Sorry there isn’t more justice.
“They Were Both Fired.”
I was working at the same job as my girlfriend of the time. I walk in to my apartment to find that she was sleeping with the VP of our company. I later learned that my girlfriend’s upcoming”business trip” was actually an intimate retreat with her and the VP. I told HR and they were both fired.
“I’m So Sorry!”
I had actually come home a week earlier than I was supposed to from the air force (this was a good 15 years ago) and figured I’d surprise her since she’d always talk about how much she misses me, would always send me pictures of her in the mail and write these long letters talking about our future together. Naturally, I assumed she would be more than excited to see me walk in the door a week early.
Pulled up to the house and figured she was home because her car was there so I was as quiet as possible. Even parked my car down the street a little so she didn’t see me pull up and ruin the surprise. Quietly put the key in the lock and slowly twisted…opened the door and the living room was dark. I thought… hm. Maybe she got picked up by some friends and went out somewhere. Oh well even better! I’ll set up our room by going to get some flowers and making everything look all romantic and irresistible…. (hey it’s been a few months, I was a bit pent up at that point). Start walking towards the bedroom and I hear this rhythmic squeaking noise followed by a deep grunt. My instinctive reaction was someone broke in and trying to rip something off the wall, so I went into ass-kicking mode until a few seconds later I heard a high pitched moan of a female. Yeah… I recognized that sound pretty well and knew what was happening. Being in the military I knew the worst possible thing I could do was anything violent so I wanted to fuck up whatever “moment” they were having. I walked towards the room very quietly while they went at it… of course they didn’t hear me because they were far too “deep” in their actions. Luckily the door was halfway open so I got down and started crawling towards the bed out of their line of sight, slithered over to the edge of the bed they were closest to and started slowly inching my head up the side until just my eyes were above the edge.
It took her a good minute (she was on the bottom) before she looked over and saw angry eyes staring at her. She freaked out so bad that she kicked the dude in the face and he fell off the bed and hit his head on the wall, she screamed louder than I’ve heard anyone scream in my life and bounced off the bed in a flailing, sweaty mess and I heard her ass hit the ground with a satisfying thud. I stood up and the guy was in a heap on the floor scared at this dude in full military garb standing over him with crazy eyes. She finally realized who it was and started bawling her eyes out saying “I’m so sorry! I was lonely!” blah blah blah… who cares. I started laughing hysterically and all I said was “Well dude, she’s your problem now. Hope you don’t mind herpes”
Walked out and blocked her from my life. Only to go on and date someone else who made my life miserable for the next 12 years. I really know how to pick em.
[Image Credit: Kaspars Grinvalds / Shutterstock.com]