As we all learned at a young age, ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.’ Unfortunately, some people weren’t taught that. These people share the most insensitive comment they were told after they had just lost someone. Content has been edited for clarity.
First Day Back At Work Gone Wrong
“I lost my 35-year-old, soulmate husband unexpectedly on Memorial Day morning. I had gotten up to find him on the driveway of our home and had tried to revive him while waiting for EMS but it was too late. He had had a gran mal seizure and had what the medical examiner ruled a ‘Terminal Event’ and was taken from me and his daughter that idolized him, that day. Needless to say, it was a horrible, traumatic day such that I wondered if I could ever get out of bed again.
After several months, I decided to try to return to work when I was met by a co-worker who hugged me and asked how I was, and said she was so happy to see me.
She then said to me, ‘My family and I have been praying hard for you. We have been praying that you will get cancer really soon so you can be with him because we know how much you love him.’
I stood there dumbfounded by the hideousness of that statement. She then handed me a CD she had made for me (that I only played years later out of curiosity) that was full of the most tragic and mournful music I ever heard. I made it through about two hours at work that day but then went home and did not return for several more months. What little bit of healing had been shattered by that comment. When I did finally return, I avoided her like the plague. She was just one of many wholly inappropriate comments made by those who I thought cared for me.”
“My brother, who was in his early 50’s, died suddenly. I called one of the airlines to book a round-trip flight for his funeral. The lady informed me that the cost was $900. I told her the trip was to attend my brother’s funeral and whether they had a bereavement discount. She said they did, and that the cost would be $750.
I sort of muttered to myself, ‘Wow, that’s still a lot.’
At this point, the lady jumped in saying, ‘Well if your brother had planned better and had told you two weeks ago about this, you could have booked then and the fare would have been even lower!’
I was speechless, and slowly just hung up the phone.”
“63 hours after my mother’s death (my father predeceased her) I called one of her sisters to let her know of funeral arrangements (having called her on the day to inform her of my mother’s passing).
Having given her the details, she went on to ask if she could have her blender back ‘as Metta has had it for a frightfully long time.’ My mother had been on puréed food for a while due to her cancer and her sister had insisted she use her blender. I said I would try to remember it. She then started saying that my mother had told her she could have the dresser in the study and could I arrange delivery. I expressed to her that I found this odd as Mummy had said very clearly that she would like it sold and the proceeds to be given to her grandchildren (it was apparently made by someone famous, worth approx £12,000) at which my aunt blustered and started saying of course she meant to pay for it etc…
She then dropped the absolute bombshell.
‘Oh and you’ll need to make sure all the family photos are returned to me as they should be with blood family’
I was adopted when I was young. My family ARE my family. This woman chose that moment less than 70 hours after my mother’s death to effectively say that I wasn’t proper family.
She’s a vile woman who will be mourned by very few when she dies.”
“I was working full-time and taking night classes at a local community college. The class I was in was a trigonometry class and I had an A average. It required attendance, but my work (land surveying) occasionally caused me to be late or miss.
My wife was pregnant at the time and we lost our daughter to a cord death in utero. I missed the next couple of classes due to taking care of my family and burying our daughter.
When I came back to class I was informed that I had missed too many classes and had to go see the Dean of Students.
I promptly went to see her and she sarcastically, ‘Okay, I need to see some evidence,’ not I’m sorry or anything else just an ‘I don’t believe you’ so show me something!
I promptly told her to go read the obituaries, there aren’t any other people in our city with my last name.
That was 34 years ago and it still sticks in my craw. I did go back to class and the look I gave the teacher dared her to ask me for anything. I passed with the highest average in the class and subsequently had a meeting with the president of the college and discussed the college’s theft of tuition from working students, because you were given an incomplete for the class because of attendance, even if you had completed all of the course work or you were prevented from completing the course work. When I put it in that perspective, they decided to change their attendance policy.”
Uncle Frank SMH
“We had just returned back to our home from the church service for my mother. Mom had died very suddenly of a heart attack. My parents had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary a few months prior and were very happy their entire marriage. An uncle of my husband’s sat down next to him on the couch in the living room. We were all a bit shell-shocked at the suddenness of Mom’s death, especially my dad. Said uncle spoke up and said, ‘You know what you need, Joe?’
My dad just shook his head.
‘You need a good woman to help take your mind off of all this.’
We all sat there in shock. Thank goodness for my father-in-law, who snapped, ‘Frank, what the hell is wrong with you??!’
Nothing to do but shake your head and walk away. It has been 25 years since my mom passed, yet I think of that comment frequently.”