Recently, a Reddit thread asked people “What is your weirdest public bathroom experience?” Here are some of the users’ best submissions.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
I was peeing in the urinal when a drunk dude came in and stood right by me for a moment, then asked me, “Hey kid you wanna know something really cool you can do in here?” and I was like, “uh yeah sure.” He then took his junk out and started peeing while walking backwards away from the other urinal, getting pee everywhere. He was laughing and said, “Dude this is some Jedi stuff right here!” I practically ran out as quick as I can, it was super weird.
Baxter90905
Happened to a friend. He works in the mall and was taking a dump before his shift started. Some random dude walks up to the crack and starts peeking in to which my friend says “what are you doing?” Dude responds “I’m watching you!”
Buddy jumps up and starts to leave the stall and the guy bolts.
farjarrington
5 seconds after entering a highway rest area bathroom, the electric hand dryer turned off. Except it wasn’t the hand dryer. Some dude had been holding pitch on a nasty fart since I had walked in.
twitchy_gerbil
Going to the US for the first time and realising there are huge gaps in the doors, then fixating on the gap out of curiosity and making eye contact
BringCrashBack
I was once pooping in the college bathrooms and this one kid walked up to the stall door, toes sticking about 3 inches into the stall, and tilted his head so both eyes, looking through the door-crack and asked how much longer…
It was terrifying that this dude was that eager to see with 20/20 vision whether or not that stall was occupied.
I laughed.
B_U_F_U
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Was about 10 years old coming back from a Boy Scout camp in southern Virginia when we stopped to go to the bathroom at a gas station off the interstate. Me and my friend enter the bathroom when an old homeless guy was standing in there with the lights off. He says, “Come on in boys, the water’s fine.” We jumped and ran back to the car. Our scout leader thought it was hilarious and took us down the street to a McDonald’s.
My friend and I have been using that phrase ever since.
DiOffAtWork
Earlier this year, walked in to a rest stop bathroom. Guy in one of the stalls was naked, mopping poop off the walls with his shirt (which he was rinsing out in the toilet).
Well, not totally naked. He was still wearing his socks. His shoes were placed neatly at the door.
adenansu
Went to take a leak at a sportsman warehouse in Fairbanks Alaska. Three urinals. Two guys there already. The urinal remaining was to the left and not the middle (which was a sigh of relief for me).
Started to pee when all of the sudden the guy at the right hand urinal yelled at the guy at the middle urinal, “Goddammit James stop looking at my junk!”
Silence.
I finished after both had gone and made my way back to my wife. There I saw both guys and their wives and kids and a strong tense feeling among the husbands at each other.
So awkward.
I_like_PnutButter
Couple weeks ago I went to a Chinese buffet, shortly after, emergency bowel movement. So I’m sitting in there and some little kid comes in and starts messing around. Starts flickering the lights and then turns it off. The little kid starts throwing wet paper towel balls over the stall. Then he walks out with the lights off.
Jerryrozz
I was at a college football game, using one of those awful trough-urinals. It’s busy, naturally, and there’s zero privacy — as many do, I got a bit of stage fright and ended up standing awkwardly in the firing squad lineup for just a little too long.
Wouldn’t have been too bad, but the guy next to me wouldn’t stop complimenting me on my watch.
name_not_shown
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Around the time I was in high school I was at the mall with my family and took my little brother to the food court bathroom. We walked into the door and there was a kid of about 8-9 years old with his pants around his ankles dancing up and down just peeing everywhere. When we walked into the room he stopped pulled up his pants and ran out.
egnards
I used to go see the Christmas carol every year when I was a kid at a local theater. I don’t know if this guy was on drugs but he had a prosthetic leg and was acting really strange. Anyways at the end of the play I went to the bathroom and sometimes it takes me a minute on the toilet. I don’t like to rush. Well I guess this guy was waiting on the stall or something because I see him peek into the crack of the door and then begins to tell everyone in the bathroom “That kid take a poo, that kid take a poo.” When I finished, I booked it out of that bathroom. To this day I can just remember the raspy voice of that old man saying that kid take a poo.
redneckhipsterkid
Was using the bathroom stall at my work (Sears), and a guy came in to use the urinal and didn’t know I was there. He made loud motorcycle noises as he peed, even shifting his legs around each time the gear would shift.
He cut the engine as soon as I flushed the toilet. Made a beeline for the door as soon as I came out of the stall! I felt bad, he was so embarrassed!
BetaWolf47
I was 14 years old at a near-dead mall where a music group I was in held rehearsals. I took a break from the rehearsal to go to the bathroom and both stalls were full. I really needed to go and I didn’t think there were any other bathrooms there, so I just waited it out.
The people in the two stalls are dead silent for several minutes. I’m tapping my foot impatiently waiting. Then I hear one of them say, “So are we gonna do this or not?” Then I hear heavy breathing and something dripping on the floor, followed by getting toilet paper to mop it up.
I got out of there and just decided to hold it after that.
porsche_914
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One time I was at my hometown NFL teams game (Baltimore Ravens) and it’s the end of the game. I was having myself a pee in the men’s room before leaving when all of a sudden this drunk girl comes in, pulls down her pants and puts one leg above the urinal and starts peeing and giving everybody the finger saying to stop staring at her. It was so weird.
jtjones369222
Old woman in an airport didn’t lock the door and it was slightly open. So me in my sleep deprived state saw door ajar and went yes open stall! Pushed the door open and made super awkward eye contact with this really old woman. She was changing clothes for some reason.
SpacefaringGaloshes
In a bathroom in Busch Gardens. We had just stopped to use the bathroom after lunch. As we washed our hands we heard “Mom, catch!” followed by an airborne pair of soaking wet underwear which flew over the stall and promptly landed in my friend’s mom’s hair. She was horrified. We at least tried to convince her that we were close to the water rides.
Methebarbarian
My friends and I were toward the end of the night hitting the bars, so most of us were fairly intoxicated. We arrive at a new bar and my friend Joe and I decide we need to take a leak. The bathroom only has one toilet and one urinal, and a long line. When we get to the front of the line, the urinal is in use, Joe takes his place at the toilet, and I’m on deck. Then Joe leans back and yells “Hey, Aaron! Come cross streams with me!” The guy using the toilet jumps a foot, spins his head around to look at Joe, and goes “What did you say???”
I, very drunk and with a full bladder, decided whatever, and stepped up next to Joe to share his toilet. The urinal dude looks extremely relieved and goes “Oh my God, your name’s Aaron too? I thought he was talking to me and was really freaked out.”
And that’s how we made a new friend in the bathroom.
p3ng1
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Old man got arrested for cruising in the bathroom of Pearson Airport in Toronto. I was just taking a leak and I heard some guy in the stall say “Man, what are you doing?!” Went back to my gate while I waited for my flight which was right next to that bathroom. Watched an old man come out, get questioned by police and then arrested.
bclna22
In my freshman year of high school I couldn’t find a bathroom because I was new to the school. I walked around and around, finally finding one on the other side of the school from my classroom a couple of minutes before the bell was going to ring. I went in, trying to be fast, and in the toilet were meatballs. Someone dumped meatballs in the toilet.
A few months later, I went to a different bathroom, and there were more meatballs. They’re inescapable.
Pauole
A friend of mine went to a Porta-Potty after a concert. He was sitting and minding his own business when he felt the whole toilet unit being lifted up by a forklift and loaded onto a truck. He started yelling and frantically pounding on the door. He heard the engine of the forklift stop, then quickly reverse and lower the unit back down. The driver was quite apologetic for the mistake.
GotMyOrangeCrush
Went to the toilet in a newly refurbished bar. They’d made a storeroom into their toilet and had only one toilet in there so it was like this big room with a toilet plumbed into the far corner away from the door.
There was a slide door and I couldn’t figure out how to lock it. Eventually, I thought I’d worked it out and walked over to the toilet to do my business. Now, I’m a lady, so in order to relieve myself I had to take my trousers down to my ankles and sit down. I was mid-flow when the slide door was suddenly thrown open by a middle-aged bloke – I’d obviously not locked it.
In my shock (and to his), I immediately jumped to my feet and just automatically tried to run across the length of this big room to shut the door again. Some part of my brain understood I was partially unclothed and I tried to cover up, but in my panic it got confused, so I ended up running straight at this man with my knickers around my ankles, while clutching my fully-clothed breasts.
reallybigleg
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Not sure if this is weird or just embarrassing.
The first time I ever got drunk my older brother and some of his friends took me bowling. I probably had 6 beers as a small teenager and was decently stoned. The entire night someone would get up and go to the bathroom, and I’d realize a second later that I needed to as well, so I’d more or less follow them to the men’s room. Eventually one stall was occupied and the other was clogged. Fine, I thought, I’ll wait. So I did. I sat on the counter at first, until my drunk brain decided to see what it was like under the sink. So I was just chilling under the sink when a woman walked in, saw me and asked “What in the world are you doing?” I slowly realized that I was in the wrong bathroom, hiding under the sink and without saying a word I got up and stubbled out.
LennyDaGoblin
I was at a racetrack as a kid. The big toilet building was concrete breeze-block, one wall had door, three outer walls were one big connected trough (like a horseshoe shape), toilet stalls and sinks were in the middle.
Not sure how it started, but everyone was shuffling along as they peed. So, as you walk in the door, there was a space available at the trough, and as you are peeing, you are shuffling left, left, left, until you finished, at which point you were either at the end with the sinks and the door to leave, or at least closer to it than you were before if you finished early.
No idea how it started, but we thought it was pretty funny. Pretty much everyone else just carried on as if that was perfectly normal. Went back many times throughout the day and the system was still in place.
valiantfreak
Setting: Philadelphia, suburban station, waiting for my train home. Confident that there were more homeless inside the underground station than not, I really didn’t want to run into its public bathroom to go. Problem was I had an hour long train ride ahead of me, so I walked past the crowd of panhandlers and made my way into the bathroom. My mind could not have prepared me for what I experienced in the next 30 seconds. What appeared to be a mentally deficient homeless man had set up shop in a stall. Bags and clothes laid out on the floor, half eaten garbage, it was enough to make me gag. How did I know what this stall looked like inside? The man was slamming the stall door open and shut repeatedly… to the tune of the jeopardy game sound… which he was humming… while screaming and cursing in between… all while audibly defecating violently. The rest of the toilets looked horrible too, so I left. As I’m turning around to leave I catch a glimpse at a needle being plunged into another mans arm who was standing at the sink. Magically, the urge to go went away instantly.
Codyc541
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