When a man and a woman – or a man and a man – or a woman and a woman – and let’s not forget transgender people… When two – or three – or four – or more – people love each other very much… Oh forget it. Just keep it in your pants.
This is based on an AskReddit thread. Source at the end of the article.
1. A girl in my high school sex ed class didn’t quite understand how she could get pregnant if a dude pulled out before he finished. Then her basketball player boyfriend stood up and yelled, “Before a man shoots he’s gotta dribble!”
-guppycommander
2. When I was in sex ed many years ago, all the guys got to write questions for the girls on paper notes and vice versa. One of the guys wrote: “What is the largest thing you could fit inside of you?” One of the girls answered: “an infant.” Preach.
-offspringofdeath
3. In grade 6 sex ed, my friend asked “Why do girls use tampons instead of pads?” and before the teacher could say anything, another kid piped up with “Because they get orgasms when they use them.”
I f*cking wish!
-kitennnnns
4. Girl sitting behind me stood up and asked, “How many calories are there in semen?”
-RaptorGeezus
5. I took my high school’s health requirement over the summer. I opted for the four-week course, which was about 70% the cliche summer school crowd. We had all types of troublemakers.
Also there was a pregnant girl. She was pretty far along, already showing in the belly department. The teacher had just done the contraceptives lesson and was doing a little post-lecture review. she asked us, “What is the most effective form of contraception?”
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As expected, we said “use the pill specifically for contraception, but wear a condom to protect against diseases.” Totally legit, everyone was on board.
But the pregnant girl raised her hand and said, “Mrs Miller, I’m confused. I thought the safest thing would be to not let the boy finish inside of you, so shouldn’t the pull-out method be the safest?”
Our teacher explained the error of her ways, to which the girl replied “Damn, I thought pull-out would be foolproof. That’s what I’ve been using.” There were no words.
-kyaPryse
6. We had an inner city kid who openly asked in a very rural conservative small-town school whether it was possible for “the skeet to drip down from da booty hole and get a b*tch pregnant.”
The teacher just looked at him and said, “It is possible, not quite likely though. Great question Darius.”
-lilsureshot
7. In 6th grade some kid asked “if a guy c*ms it’s called ejaculation, so when a girl sprays liquid out whats that called?” The teacher said “females do not do that.”
The boy looked at her and said “trust me, they do. I’ve watched like thirty of them do it. It’s called the internet.”
-bobred92
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8. Our school’s gym teacher was missing her left hand at the wrist. It was a birth defect, she’s done some pretty cool things despite it.
In the 9th grade, we had her for the sex ed unit of phys ed. During her lesson, she was doing a bit about contraception. She was talking about different methods, then she got to condoms.
Someone asked “what happens if a guy is too big to use a condom?”
She took one, unwrapped it, applied it over her left wrist and rolled it all the way down her damn arm. Then said something along the lines of “and most of you boys think you need magnums?”
-dumbassbuffet
9. I went to a parochial (church) school. The pastor taught the sex ed class. At the end of the class we had question time. This boy asked the teacher if it was gay to take a picture of his own dick and jerk off to it.
-anonymous579
10. A chick asked: “If I have sex with my dad and have a kid, is the kid my brother or my son?”
-Seckzette
11. I went to a public school in Texas, where only abstinence only sex ed is taught, as part of a unit on health your freshman year….there were three pregnant girls in my class. It was a little awkward.
-texass363
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12. A kid in my sex ed class once asked “why are periods blue?”
He’d obviosuly seen a few too many tampon/pad commercials.
-DeCoburgeois
13. As a student I thought it would be funny to ask my grade 7 teacher what tea-bagging was.
I figured she wouldn’t know. Instead she went on a 15-minute speech about what it was and why people may want to do it. The class was so stunned, and I was pretty embarrassed.
-HeadNativeInCharge
14. A cute girl said, “I have never done this, but my boyfriend said sperm is good for the skin and can keep you looking younger if applied to the face. Is this true?”
I openly laughed and at the same time knew that she had been letting her boyfriend c*m on her face because he was able to convince her it was “good for her skin”.
-QA_QuestionableActs
15. My sex ed teacher in high schooland wanted to have a serious discussion about STDs because statistically speaking 1/3 students at my school already had one.
She explains this and that the two counties feeding into our high school had some of the highest rates of STDS in the nation. She then asks: “So why do you think that is?”
Before she can get in a word about condoms and staying protected, kid pipes up: “It’s f*cking Nebraska; what else are we going to do?”
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16. Some kid in my sex ed class asked if sperm floats … in the air … like a helium balloon.
-whimsicalsteve
17. In 8th grade sex ed class, the teacher (an old woman who was a nurse) did the usual anonymous questions deal, and it went about as you would expect.
But then she starts reading one to herself, and responds: “I, I…. I just don’t know…….. the exact, um… exactly how…. the exact circumference of Jupiter…”
Immediately, a stoner-type with long hair in the back of the classroom who had been silent up to this point pops his head up and says, “oh, that’s me. I’m tryin’ to do my science homework.”
-AirOrFourOhFour
18. In grade six, my sex Ed teacher – who was a bald, fat, and just disgusting to look at – opened the class with “You girls might think I don’t know much about your bodies, but I just got my wife pregnant for the second time.” No one said anything.
-Kittyroyo
19. A kid in my first awkward 5th grade sex ed class asked if it hurts to get an erection. They were supposed to be anonymous questions written on notecards but adding “from Paul” didn’t help his case.
-TZnerd
20. Our teacher was going over the male reproductive system and went on to say that the purpose of the scrotum was to protect the testicles. From the back of the classroom came the voice of a large football player yelling “Well it does a SHITTY job!“
-Ahh_Gene_Parmesan