Sometimes dates are just awkward. Whether they're first dates or a couple's 100th time going out together, something spoils the mood for them and everyone around them, including the restaurant staff. These cringy experiences are indelibly marked in the servers' heads, showing them how not to act in their own relationships. Explore these extremely awkward tales of dates gone wrong. Content has been edited for clarity.
Someone Loves Himself
“I worked at an ice cream parlor, it’s kinda old-timey. There isn’t too much seating. Anyway, this guy comes in with a girl, they pay for their own cones and take a seat at two of the seven stools. The dude is talking and the girl is laughing and into it.
TWO HOURS LATER, THE DUDE IS STILL TALKING and the girl looks like she wants to cry or punch him in the face. They withstood the galeforce trauma of at least seven families with screaming kids, adults who ‘just love that these tiny places still exist!’ They also stuck around past several rounds of me sweeping around their feet and pointedly scrubbing the counter around them. The guy never asked her a question. Never let her say more than a few words before he stomped out her ‘rude interruptions.’
I eventually said, ‘Hey guys, we close soon. I hope you have a nice day, but I need to mop.’ We still had a few hours but I wasn’t just gonna listen to some idiot prattle on about himself if I didn’t have to. I watched them walk down the street and he was STILL TALKING. Like, get a room with yourself, guy. You’re obviously the man of your dreams.”
How An Aquarium Tore This Couple Apart
“I waited tables at this restaurant that had a big aquarium in the center. Like floor to ceiling huge.
A mixed age couple comes in and they’re nice but the guy is super quiet and nervous. Orders a McCallan straight but you can tell he really doesn’t drink, maybe sipped it twice. His date was probably 20 years younger and she seemed like she liked to party. She ordered two shots of Patron right from the start and took them both.
Another younger couple was sat next to them and staring at the aquarium. Part of the deal there was having to talk about the aquarium and fish while people ordered. If I was busy, I’d try to spiel two tables at once with the aqua script, then make a few jokes and leave.
I got both couples interested and talking then told them both I would be back. After I dropped the apps for both tables, I see the young girl still talking with the younger table and they decide to push the tables together and eat.
The whole time, the older guy is just smiling but I could tell he doesn’t feel comfortable. He barely touched his food and was just a fly on the wall at his own table. Eventually, they decide to take the party outside to do some dancing. During the summer they give free salsa lessons and people have drinks and dance.
Maybe an hour later, I’m taking a smoke break and I spot dude sitting on a bench crying. I walk up to him and give him a smoke and try to talk to him.
Apparently, his wife died about two years ago and that was his first time out since. He said he met that girl on some website and how she reminded him of her but she’s nothing alike and a bunch of really sad stuff. He said the girl left with that couple to go drinking and she just took off and left him alone.”
THAT’S How You Impress A Lady
“One of my first jobs in New York was managing a lounge in a high-end hotel. At around 3 or 4 pm, a guy that looked pretty cheesy (slicked back hair, bad suit etc.) came up to me and demanded that he get that window table tonight for his date (he had a reservation for 8 pm). I explained to him that I can’t guarantee it and he slipped me $400 with the ‘How about now’ look in which I eventually caved in and told him that I’d take care of it.
He then pulled another stack of hundreds and started counting them in front of me while asking if I could go a little extra by coming over to the table when he was there with the date and pretend that I knew him from a movie. At this point, if I’ve gone this far, why not?
Sure enough, he rolled around later in the evening with a blonde bimbo and after they’d had a glass of bubbly, I approached the tables around them, checked on how they were doing before going over to him and did the whole ‘How are you enjoying your evening?’ And before walking off I did an Oscar-worthy double take with a ‘Are… are you… by any chance..? You must be…’ at which point he had this douchy smile lapping up the ‘recognition’ he was getting from this young dude he’d just paid off. Most importantly for him though, it worked – she was loving it – and they left shortly after and he slipped me another $600 on the way out. It wasn’t awkward for them, just for me and all the rest of the waitstaff watching.”
When Being Courteous Gets Rude
“I worked as a cashier at a self-service cafe. The cashier counter is in between two big glass display racks displaying desserts and whatnot for sale on either side. I was taking their orders (mind you, there were more customers behind them) when they started fighting on who was going to get the bill.
They both started shoving cash at me past the counter when a $20 belonging to the girl fell in between the counter and the display rack. It was a really tight spot and neither of us could reach. The display rack is also really heavy and big. She then proceeded to ask me to get a knife and many other random things to get her $20. The worst part was the other customers were clearly impatient. Honestly, as a cashier, I’ve witnessed couples fight for the bill many times, but there’s no need to be aggressive, especially when it involves a third party like a cashier.”
Energy Vampires?
Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/Shutterstock
“A couple came into the restaurant dressed very goth. I wasn’t their server but I was running the cash register just a few feet away. They proclaimed to everyone that they were energy vampires, but not to fear them because they wouldn’t hurt us.
They said they didn’t need our food for sustenance, but they enjoyed the taste. After ordering the meal they then politely asked the waitress if she would stick around for a second so they could feed off of her aura so they could have enough energy for the night. The waitress said ok and gave me a side glance over her shoulder that I knew meant ‘I better get a good tip for this.’The couple clasped each other’s hands, closed their eyes, and made sucking sounds for a solid minute before leaning back in the seats and sighing as if they had just had a turkey dinner. The waitress was indeed tipped well for her delicious energy.”