People working in sales will say things under pressure or their own ambition that may not entirely be true….at all. Reddit users were asked about their experiences with this, here’s some of the more outrageous answers.
1. No. It Doesnt.
I was at the local head shop to buy a replacement ash catcher after my roommate broke mine.
At the checkout he tries to sell some $15 goop for cleaning it. I tell him i just use isopropyl and salt. He looks at me seriously and say’s, ‘you shouldn’t do that, alcohol weakens the glass.’
I bust out laughing and responded ‘yeah i used to bartend and we’d had that problem all the time, vodka bottles spontaneously exploding.’
2. Yes. It does.
I was told by the guy at the liquor store that I should not buy wine because it will not get anyone drunk. “The alcohol in there is so low you would need to drink ten bottles.” He then suggested PBR.
3. I asked no one to put special wires under my house.
AT&T sales lady just told me I had to use their router so my internet would work with the “special underground wires” that they use _
4. Mmmmm, profit.
Employee trying to get me to pay an additional $90 dollars to let the “tech experts” there optimize the laptop I wanted to purchase. Apparently my computer would run up to 100x faster and I wasn’t qualified to do this myself. A quick Google search on my smartphone revealed it was a scam where they would just delete some of the programs that come with the laptop and do the initial turn on.
5. Oh does it now?
I was once told by a woman at the local farmer’s market that only organic food has any nutrients and everything else is just empty, because that’s what genetic farming does, it strips all the nutrients from food.
6. Cat brain wavestheyre sneaky little things.
A salesperson from a home security company told me the motion sensors will not detect cats because it can sense their brain waves. Didn’t go with that company.
7. You know what? Calling people names isnt nice. So yeah, maybe hes allowed to be a little defensive.
My brother (an idiot) was told that a special cleaning spray would make CD’s and DVD’s play better.
My brother now claims it makes his video games load faster and improves the movie quality beyond BluRay.
I tried explaining why he was a dolt, but it just made him defensive.
8. I know thats wrong. I couldn’t articulate why. But I know thats wrong.
I was buying a set of 4.1 computer speakers at a major chain and the salesman told me I should get the product service plan because “if one speaker is disconnected, then the current that was going through it is directed to the other speakers and that could overload and damage them”.
9. But really, how about the oils from your ear destroying your phone am I right??
“You need to get a screen protector because the oils and heat from your fingers will wear down the touch screen on your new Android phone.”
That day I learned that my fingers will destroy gorilla glass.
10. .so yellow and orange then?
I was looking at a display of binoculars and the sign said they had nightvision ones for sale. I asked the salesman which ones had night vision
“all of them”.
These were regular binoculars. I asked where would the batteries go in them – he said they had a coating on them to see infra-red. I looked through them and they were regular optical binoculars. I called him on this, and he says
“Did I say infra-red? I meant infra-green”.
11. We are the world. We are the children.
I was buying mutual funds, and the representative was showing us some ‘ethical’ funds. I noticed that Coca-Cola was on the list. I asked him about it, he immediately volunteered that Coca-Cola wasn’t all that ethical, but then said if the fund buys enough shares, they can change Coke’s policies !
We all just sat and stared at each other.
12. Fake it till you make it.
Was told by a salesmen trying to sell me a extended warranty on a $150 television “This is what I recommend to all my customers.”
Which is fine except that he was wearing a trainee name tag. “So, like four people?”
13. Yeah but did you say digital or did you say (digital) let’s be fair!
When asked why I was canceling my cable TV, I said that I was going to use an antenna to get (digital) over the air signals.
I was told that you can’t get TV over an antenna any more.
14. Think of the poor, video-game ignorant grandparents!
a guy from Rent-a-center told me the ps2 could also play xbox games
15. Sadly, its all too common to take advantage of people who just lost their loved one.
When we were making funeral arrangements for my grandfather, we got to hear all kinds of horror stories about casket failures so the funeral guy could sell us the casket with the 99 year warranty. I asked how often they would dig it up to check the seals. Took me a few minutes before I realized my mom wasn’t crying harder, she was laughing.
16. I bet she felt really smart. We all need to feel good sometimes.
Once my boyfriend and I were at Best Buy looking at HDTVs. He’s been following the development of OLED screens and while we were waiting for something and chatting with the sales lady OLEDs came up. I pointed out I didn’t want to wait for them to become sufficiently large enough since that would take years. The sales lady chimed in: “Also they’re organic so that means they’ll die.”
17. Oh, you don’t say?
A lady at some place told me that nail buffers “pull the natural oils to the top of your nails to make them shine”
18. Oh weird, I always incorporate the DNA of the various creatures I consume.
I was told that cooking with a microwave damaged the DNA of the food due to radiation. I explained non-ionizing radiation to the guy, and also how any possible radiation damage was nothing compared to the damage it would receive when it hit stomach acids, and finally that my goal when eating food was not to incorporate the DNA into my own but to digest it like other proteins.
19. Space-time cannot get up the hill!
My grandma was told she should get a faster Internet subscription because she lived on a hill and the electrons struggled to get up to her.
20. I’ll take it warm.
Asked a hotdog vender in NYC how to find the subway. Then tried to purchase a Pepsi. Knowing inwas a tourist, he asked for $5. I said “the sign says $2.50”. He said “that’s for the warm ones, this one is cold, so it’s $5”
21. Sue Meh.
“We integrate seamlessly with outlook!”
I record all calls I make, and after we had purchased said product and were trying to implement the outlook integration (without success), I called their support team only to find out that they in the future planned to make outlook integration. It was not something they offered now.
So I got my panties in a bunch and called the sales guy who claimed he never said that. Got a manager on the line who said he never would have said that… I must have misheard/misunderstood.
I told them I had recorded all the calls (with their permission) and would be reviewing my recordings to confirm if I had “misheard”.
They were like, yeah, you do that.
So I called them the next day and played them the recording of him explaining IN DETAIL just how great the outlook integration currently was, was definitely available at the level of service we were paying for, and that if we had any issues their support would love to help us out.
So, they were like, fine, sue us.
So we did. It was EXCELLENT.
Also – don’t fuck with me when I say I record calls. I’m not shitting you and I will look that shit up.
– they settled, so it didn’t go to court or anything. But it was really satisfying.
22. Its anything you want it to be, baby.
At a market in Mexico.
Me:What is this made out of? Wool?
Salesperson: Yes, of course.
Me: Because I’m allergic to wool.
Salesperson: It’s not wool.
23. Whoa, what a great deal.
Salesperson: This is carved out of real elephant tusk. That is why it’s so expensive.
Me: That’s terrible! Poor Elephant!
Salesperson: Just Kidding…It’s just hard plastic…10 dollar and it’s yours.
24. Some mechanics just have really vivid imaginations
If I don’t buy the new tires right now the old ones on my car will probably explode on my way home and cause my death and the death of anyone unlucky enough to be in my lane. I was 19, female with a tire that needed some air.
25. Positive spin.
I’d bought a pretty expensive vacuum cleaner from a home goods store, and when I got it home and tried it out it made this ear-piercing whistling noise. I brought it back to return it, and the salesman (trying to keep the sale) told me that all high-end vaccum cleaners made that sound, that’s how you knew it was moving air at MAXIMUM POWER.
I got my money back, he lost his commission, and I went elsewhere.
26. Babies are gonna be out of fashion next year.
when convincing my grandmother to buy boots for a 2-year-old a year in advance, the saleswoman said that by next year, no store whatsoever is going to be selling baby shoes and they will be impossible to find.
27. What a twist!
That they actually owned the furniture they were selling to me.
Payed for furniture at a furniture store . Was promised it would be delivered from the warehouse in a week. (the floor models were just demo models)
Come to find out they were in the process of bankrupting when I made my purchase. All the employees knew this but they wanted to get any commission on sales that they could. Another liquidation company already owned everything.
To get our money back we had to fight the charge with the credit card company. Ended up getting every cent back.
28. Okay, but thats clever.
I had someone press my door bell, I reminded them of the “no canvassers” sign below my door bell to which she replied; “ITS OK, IM NOT HERE TO SELL YOU A PAINTING”
29. Yeah but what if they just named their company technology after a beautiful geologic wonder?
A kid I work with told a customer a certain bike was really strong because of it’s “tectonic plates”.