[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1. I did the role of the head of the galactic council in this low budget sci-fi movie,
Tyrshand
2. I auditioned for a “Camp Rock”/”High School Musical” type made-for-TV movie, which I initially did not want to do.
But I thought I had landed a role because they kept me around all day. They kept giving me sides and bringing me in to read different parts. Finally, after about 6 hours of this, the casting director said: “You were the best actor here today But it’s a shame we don’t have a part for you.
I_Stand_Correct
3. I gladly took a role in high school that saw me walking around the city in my underwear, pants around my ankles, for an insurance company’s safety PSA.
“This is how stupid you look when you don’t wear a belt.
shorthanded
4. I’ve been sent on several TV auditions for roles titled “Chubby Man” or “Fat Guy” and sometimes, if I’m lucky, “Scruffy Guy.” But that’s par for the course for a more “full figured” fellow such as myself. The most demeaning audition I’ve been on was for a production of Twelfth Night. I did my monologue (Dogberry from Much Ado) and when I was finished, the director told me I have no business doing Shakespeare, and I should give up. Then he asked me if I wanted to work on the crew. I took Second City classes instead.
Incidentally, turns out he was right: I’m garbage at Shakespeare.
eyes_are_grey
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5. I remember during a school play, on the very night my mom came to watch, some STUPID kid said her line too early and mine was skipped. Degrading, humiliating and unprofessional. One would expect higher standards from a grade six pupil.
dothatthingsir
6. When I was a kid my family moved from Thailand to America and the middle school I transferred to was doing a Musical called Welcome to America or something like that. It was about a kid (from Thailand) coming to America and basically learning about America through song.
I tried out for the part of the new Thai kid. I didn’t get it, a blonde American got it.
Sonicnbpt
7. I once auditioned for a local fried chicken chain commercial. Unfortunately, I couldn’t throw a Frisbee worth a darn, and I ended up either throwing the Frisbee out of range, or hitting the person in the chicken mascot costume. I ended up being a background child instead.
My lack of Frisbee skills was because I was 6, and had no concept of Frisbee finesse.
Artful_Dodger_42
8. Dead hooker on an autopsy table. Didn’t actually audition for the role, turned it down on spec, but I did think about doing it for a hot minute. In the brief it said “must be okay with being fully naked and completely still for several hours on a metal examination table”. There are much easier ways to make money and few things more difficult to explain to… anyone you have ever met or will ever meet.
throwaway7394716374
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9. I did a show about gay vampires thats still running. I went in for a silent on camera part of something not gay vampire related, and the one of the production staff looked at me and said I should have been one those gay vampires.
For that 12 hours on set I was torn between complimented, and wondering if I’ve been giving off this kind of image for sometime.
Araqiels
10. I’m a transgender woman, which means almost all I get offered are the demeaning parts. Prostitute and punchline being the top two. It’s rare enough to see casting calls for trans actors, and getting to the auditions just to hear: “Okay, so in this scene you’re going to be flirting with Bro A, but he doesn’t know you’re trans and he freaks out” just kills me inside every time. It’s one of the main reasons I almost exclusively do voice acting now, no one cares what you look like as long as you can sound right.
Elf-ears
11. I once had to play man eating soup while crying, the whole thing was just a bit surreal and was made even worse by two dudes walking about with weird masks on. I can’t really remember what came of it but was some dark indie film.
etphonedme3times
12. Not me, but my boyfriend. We both work in the industry though.
He once had to audition for something by screaming ‘sieg heil’ in progressively more aggressive ways. It apparently had nothing to do with what he was being looked at for, except that the character was German in the 1940s. After awhile he was really upset by it all and asked if he could stop for a few minutes and they just told him to ‘use it!’ even after he explained he was half-Jewish. I don’t know if he got that part but if he did he didn’t take it.
blink2356
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13. I auditioned for a typical stupid meathead role in a TBS show, all my lines were either allowing my friends to make me do dumb things or spouting nonsense. Didn’t like it because that’s what I was like growing up and I resented that part of me, but I wasn’t big enough for the role anyways.
toominat3r
14. I was cast as the title character at my college’s production of Equus. I’m a tall mixed male with mocha skin so I suppose playing a horse is what casting had in mind after I auditioned. Wasn’t all too bad though, as one member of the audience after opening night said that I “did a damn fine job prancing around.”
Char10
15. It was a commercial. It wasn’t the audition, it was what happened after. I went in, did my thing, didn’t get a callback. But I was Facebook friended by the casting agent who “liked my look” and “wanted to grab coffee” and when I said no, he said, “Are you even gay?” I quit a few weeks later.
aterrorcatsandwich
16. I was a comedian for a few years. Me and a friend of mine went to audition at a musical theatre type restaurant that needed comedians and funny actors.
The auditions were running late, so they were auditioning the dancers shortly after we got there. Someone yelled “You two! Get on stage” “Oh, we’re not dancers” We said. “Don’t care. Get on stage”
“Uhm, we’re comedians we’re…” “Get up there!” The woman yelled. So we take a place in the back. ALL of the other dancers seemed to know a certain dance routine of some sort. My friend and I had no idea what was going on. Music starts playing, so we danced as ridiculous and outrageous as we wanted. We even bumped into some of the serious dancers actually trying to audition.
Did not get either part.
CaptnSpalding
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17. Auditioned for the lead role in a horror movie. Went through 2 weeks of callbacks. Didn’t get the role, but the casting director called back and said “hey we still really want you around the process and we know you have done stunt work in the past. Could you play a dead body being tumbled in ocean waves?”. I went from leading man to dead body in one phone call. And yes I took the job, and almost died filming it. Good times.
Dalenskid
18. I auditioned for a locally made film based around highwaymen at the writer/producer/director’s house and one of his first statements to me (before having seen me act) was ‘you’ll be perfect for the female lead, but there’s a naked scene you’ll have to do.’ as a 19 year old, i was very much firmly nope, but i did come to set a few times before my mum insisted on accompanying me and, after having poked around further than me, discovered the cameraman was a porn cameraman, most of the rest of the cast were gypsies and the ‘set’ was a styrofoam and candle filled death trap. Literally a shipping container of potential fiery death. I told the director (who I think was hoping I’d change my mind on the naked scene) by text that I wouldn’t be returning and he replied by slagging off my mum.
campfiresare4humans
19. I got the role because I was big-boned. I was the zombie clown stand-in in the movie “Land of the Dead”. Now I’m not the main zombie clown, I’m his stand in. So I did everything they don’t need his face for. You see the back of my head, my feet etc. The guy playing the part was 300+ pounds so therefore they needed someone to match but they don’t want to pay Union wages for the back of the guys head so they bring in someone like me.
I got paid about $200 for 6 hours work which isn’t great but I had a private trailer and got a good meal even though I wasn’t in the actors union. (Normally people not in the union only get snacks and leftovers)
The worst part was I had to be down on my knees eating some guys guts for hours. Being a 300 pound guy makes kneeling for long periods of time very hard. I didn’t want to complain though as that was my biggest thing.
Shageen
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20. Here’s when I quit auditioning for commercials: I’d been in Hollywood for years, had some success doing voice-overs, occasional tv part, lots of stage work, but a national commercial can pay several thousand dollars and money is good, um-kay? I went to an audition for a “What would you do for a Klondike bar?” commercial. The set up was, “Would you cluck like a chicken?” So, there I am, a 40 year old man, sitting on a stool in a room with a camera operator and three casting agents sitting at a table. I begin to cluck. “buuuk-awk!” I flap my arms. “buk-buk-bukAWWK!” I bob my head. “BUK-AWWK!” The casting people are sitting there watching me as if they’re deciding whether to trust me with their life savings. Meanwhile I’m thinking to myself, “Fer Christ’s sake, I’m a grown man. I have a college degree in theatre.” Buk-awwk. “I’ve been lauded for playing Macbeth and Prospero.” Buk-buk-AWWK! “What,” I asked myself, “has become of my dignity?” Afterwards, I dropped my commercial agent and never went out on another call. Adding insult to injury, I didn’t book the gig. They didn’t like MY CHICKEN! And I do a great chicken, lemme tell ya. I can do a Pullet or a Road Island Red. I can do an irate rooster that’ll knock your socks off! I once did an entire evening of barn yard fowl at the Long Warf in New Haven! Screw those guys.
requisitename
21. Back when I was auditioning, I got a call from my commercial agent for major beverage company. He was like, “it’s a big one kid”, and was one of my first big commercial auditions. I was amped. They were looking for “Track Guys, athletic and fast”. So I was like, “well I’ll wear some track shorts” which in hindsight wasn’t smart. So I roll to casting with my running shoes, short ass track shorts, and a tank top. I’m nervous and the ONLY person dressed the part. Oh man. I go in and there’s a treadmill in the room, seems normal since they are looking for track runners, until the CD asks me to get on and turn it up as fast as I can run. So I get on and crank the thing wanting to impress. Right as it gets up to speed she hits play on this loud ass CD player and starts screaming at me, “NOW DANCE! DANCE!” Confused, I was like a deer in the headlights, “DANCE??”, “YES, DANCE YOUR ASS OFF!” So the best I could I started to move my arms with the beat, which at the time I was a raver, so the movements came out as if I was popping and doing the ball throw, and as it sounds it was the most embarrassing thing. Annoyed she stops the music, “ok thanks.” And that’s how my commercial audition career started. It didn’t last long as I fell in love with directing and pursued that path, which I’m so thankful I did because I love my career. I did end up booking two commercials as an actor, so, it wasn’t all terrible.
DirectorHammers
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