So I could see the hospital and also this dark “world” at the same time. Don’t know if I was hallucinating or not.

Not me, but a friend of mine overdosed one day while doing some stuff with his buddy. 

His buddy hadn’t done anything yet so he wasn’t imagining all of the signs of death on this guy (no pulse, cold skin, blue lips). My friend told me that those few minutes he was considered dead he saw nothing but white. 

Everything around him was bright white and in the distance was a dark shadowed tree. He then saw a woman, also dark and shadowed, so he wasn’t able to see her face. But her presence made him happy. 

She held out her hand to him and for a while he debated whether or not he should go with her. He decided not to and she simply walked away. Then he woke up again. 

Before that event he defined himself as Catholic but was never really religious. Afterwards he turned his life around and started devoting himself to helping others.

At about 2:00 a.m. I started to feel sick, so I reached for the container (I always had one by my bed because the meds I was on gave me really bad morning sickness) and threw up. It was a thick, dark red.

After that I only remember what happened in short bursts. I think my mum had got up to go the bathroom and I managed to hit the wall loud enough for her to hear. She came in and there was blood everywhere, coming out my nose and mouth, all over the bed and on the walls. Real horror show. 

Then I remember a paramedic being there, trying to help me out of the bed. I must’ve collapsed against the wall after that because next time I came around I was strapped to a stretcher and they were taking me downstairs.

Then I was in the hospital, surrounded by about 6 doctors with these huge lights pointed right at me. It was to try and keep me warm because I’d lost so much blood. I could feel myself sweating but I was still cold, it was a weird feeling.

One of the doctors cauterized my nose and I definitely felt that, it hurt a lot even compared to my insides tearing themselves apart with sepsis and C. Difficile. The doctor who did it was so nervous that he pushed the white-hot material they use for cauterization right through my septum. I still have the hole today.

The worst part of it all, looking back, is how peaceful it can seem. When I started vomiting blood, I went into shock. Hitting the wall to get my mum’s attention was a subconscious thing, the rest of me just stopped caring. 

When the doctors were trying to save my life, I just wanted to black out again. I didn’t want the lights to hurt my eyes and the doctors to hurt the rest of me any more, the unconsciousness seemed easier. 

That’s how it felt when I was in the ICU for a few weeks after that, doped up on ketamine and slipping in and out of life. Being asleep was easy, being awake meant more pain and less dignity.

So if you want to know what it’s like to be that close to death, it’s tempting. 

It’s like wanting to hit the snooze button on your alarm at 7:00 a,m. And maybe you do hit it once or twice but then you remember that you have work or school and that sleep can wait because you’ve still got stuff to do.

I remember what I’ve come to call “The Big Empty” in my therapy groups as just plain nothingness. It’s hard to describe and some people in this thread have managed it quite well but my description would be a void. 

There’s no darkness, there’s no you, there’s nothing. It’s such a complete lack of anything at all that it can’t even be described as empty because that would imply it could be filled with something. It’s hard to even realize that it exists because you can’t even really perceive it. 

A near-death experience like mine, I think, is like peering at the void but not going in. Just enough life left to know it’s there and not enough death to be engulfed and completely extinguished by it. 

My nosy neighbour apparently witnessed me through the window, broke said window and cut me down within 10 minutes. I was out for 3 days afterwards, but I have since fully recovered. I finished my in-patient and out-patient program with the Youth Services Bureau and have completely turned my life around. 

The fear of The Big Empty still haunts me, knowing that I will have to face it again one day and lose.

Stupidly mixed alcohol, meds and summer heat (young and stupid). 

Smoked a “self made cigarette”, the area used to be popular for shops where you go in and pick your flavors and what not. Well, they also laced it with spice I think (very common in the area as well).

Anyways. I started feeling faint, then eventually passed out. Was carried back to my apartment, husband at the time refused to call 911. I stopped breathing multiple times and, according to friends and said husband, my heart stopped.

I remember darkness except for where I was standing. It was as if I was standing on tiles that would light up only if I stepped on them. I saw something a little in the distance so walked towards it (in retrospect, kinda dumb to walk towards the light). At the end was my best friend, who had died, on a platform on these little tiles.

I hugged him and screamed at him begging him to let me stay with him. He pushed me off slowly and told me it was ok, but I couldn’t stay, that I “have to go back, it’s not time.” 

I screamed for him as I felt myself being pulled away from him. He kept saying it will be ok, I had to fight because it wasn’t time. The light around him grew darker.

I woke up gasping for air and trying to call his name. My husband and best friend was standing over me, shaking me trying to get me to breathe and wake up fully.

Yeah. That’s all.

My heart was stopped for a short time following a car accident. I woke up in the operating room and was then in a coma for 2 weeks after that. 

I saw nothing. It was exactly like being asleep.

The interesting bits are what you feel when dying, your body is dumping all of its wonderful chemicals and time slows down from the adrenaline or whatever. I saw the truck hop the median, I saw the car spinning like a carnival ride, which felt like at least 30 seconds when in reality my car only turned less than one full turn.

DMT is a hell of a drug, but the being dead part isn’t interesting or any sort of a religious experience.

Luckily you can’t remember what pain feels like. In retrospect this experience is a lot more interesting than it was at the time. It’s a lot like being high, in that your priorities are shifted really strangely while you’re in it. 

I didn’t care that I was messed up so much as that they were cutting off my pants or that I had $10 in change in the ash tray that I didn’t want whoever recovered my car to steal.

PS: Severe internal bleeding doesn’t really hurt so much as makes you feel too warm and want to throw that space blanket the emts put on you off.


About 5 years ago I had to get some pretty major surgery. I have had several over the years and this was going to be the last one.

I always get nervous about having surgery, but this time I knew something was going to go wrong. It sounds silly but I felt so strongly about it that I wrote a will and left it on my dresser just in case.

Anyway, things go wrong during the surgery and I start to bleed out. Things went even further south and then my heart stopped beating. I found out later that I was dead for several minutes.

Now I don’t know if this was real or a hallucination or a mixture of the two.

I woke up in what looked like space but there wasn’t any stars or light. I wasn’t floating so to speak, I was just there. I wasn’t hot/cold, hungry, tired, just a peaceful neutral kind of thing. I knew there was light and love somewhere nearby but I had no urge or need to go to it right away.

I remember thinking over my life, but it wasn’t like a montage. More like I was idly flipping through a book and snippets stood out here and there.

I don’t remember making a decision to stay or go back, I just woke up in the ICU two days later.

Whatever it was, it changed my thoughts on a few things. I am still afraid to die, but I’m not worried about what happens after that.

The first is being upside down and wondering idly why the opposite road was passing by inverted. The second is hitting the pole and stopping. It hurt, a lot. 

I cannot accurately describe how badly that hurt but suffice it to say I’m a person with a high pain tolerance to begin with and if I had been in my right state of mind I would have wept like a child. I just remember being on the pavement and things slowly going black and quiet, which honestly was a relief because it made the pain feel more distant instead of the crushing immediacy it had before. 

The only reason I didn’t fall asleep was a bizarre moment where I heard someone yelling “Ranger up! Come on man, get up. Get up. GET UP!” and then someone slapping my helmet (which was basically smushed really hard onto my head; the faceplate was bent up into my face and a good chunk was more or less shaved off). 

When I opened my eyes I saw my brother squatting on the pavement next to me. 

This was odd because my brother has been dead from an OD for several years. I couldn’t really gather the presence of mind to speak so I just looked at him. 

The only other thing I remember is him glancing at his watch and saying something like “They’ll be here soon” and then walking away. That and the ambulance ride to intensive care where I was pronounced dead and then opened my eyes a few minutes later and told them I wanted a Big Mac. 

Pretty serious WTF moment. I wish I could give more detail but I honestly don’t remember much of the incident and still have trouble with my memory as a result of the accident.

After 2 days with a very high fever and nonstop vomiting, my vision began to blur. Suddenly, everything went black. Like if someone had turned the lights off.

I could hear my parents and the doctor’s voice, saying that I wasn’t going to make it. I heard cries and something like a rattling, metallic sound.

And then I stopped hearing their voices.

After a while, it felt like I was in a dark room and my eyes had started to become used to the lack of light because I started to see some shapes again. I could see the bed, the pillows and a girl. She was sitting on the bed, a few inches in front of me.

I heard her voice. She told me that she came from a faraway land, filled with wonders and amazing things, and that I belonged there.

Then I started shaking uncontrollably. I vomited again and woke up.

Everyone was convinced that I was going to die. My parents made a party for me, with a priest and paper skeletons that posed as guests. (I’m Mexican, and the Day of the Dead is my favorite holiday). But I was feeling better.

Within a week, I recovered, but the fever was so high that I lost my hair. A month later, it started growing back, but it wasn’t curly anymore. From that day on, my hair turned straight.

Some time later, I told my parents about the strange dream that I had while I was sick, and they told me that, for a moment, I went completely limp and my skin started to get very pale. Even the doctor believed that I wasn’t going to wake up… But suddenly, I started moving (and vomiting) again.

She told me that maybe the girl I saw in my dreams was Death, and somehow she allowed to let me live in exchange for my hair.

After that incident, I developed emetophobia (fear of vomit) and never watched the Neverending Story film again, as the girl that I saw looked a lot like the Empress from that movie.