Good jokes make you laugh, bad ones make your day!
Below are 33 quick, half baked jokes that are so bad they are actually funny.
Check’em out mate!
1) Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Admiral_Burrito
2) I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
PopeliusJones
3) Someone stole my thesaurus last week. I have NO WORDS for how angry that makes me.
RodeoBob
4) Did you know that everything in the dictionary starts with ‘E’ and nothing starts with ‘N’?
I know mine starts with ‘M’.
Unknown
5) Why did the law student walk into the bar?
Because he couldn’t pass it.
I-_-II
6) A bird was sleeping in her nest at the top of a pine tree when suddenly she heard a lot of noise and the whole tree started to shake. She looked down and saw there was a very fat and clumsy elephant climbing the tree. The bird said: “Hey! What are doing?!!? Why are you making such racket???” The elephant said: ” I just want to climb up there and eat some pears!” The bird said: “There are no pears here you stupid elephant! This is a pine tree!!” The elephant said: “I know! I’m carrying my own pears!”
TheBlackPajama
7) Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Gilgamore
8) What’s green and fuzzy, has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree?
A pool table.
kwcc24
10) Where’s 9?
Seven eight Nine.
How many times do I have to tell you.
Author
11) What’s red and won’t fit in any pocket you’ve seen?
Mars.
Cheeriofun
12) What’s yellow and smells like blue paint?
Yellow paint.
Crando
13) Tell someone you have a GREAT knock knock joke, but they have to start it.
“Knock knock”
“who’s there?”
Enjoy the awkward silence as they try to figure out what just happened.
nobedthrowaway
14) “Hey, tell me a knock knock joke.”
“Knock knock”
“Come in”
Ohm_eye_God
15) “Knock knock.”
Who’s there?
To.
To Who?
To WHOM.
Caliblair
16) I told this girl I have a car built out of spaghetti.
She thought I’m crazy
until I drove pasta.
jkwolly
17) What’s Mozart up to these days?
Decomposing.
BattyAccountant
18) Do you know why, when geese fly together, one side is longer?
Because that side has more geese.
Storm_Bard
19) Why do geese fly south for the winter?
Because walking takes much longer.
trying_dutchman
20) What does ET stand for?
The national anthem.
TalkToMeAboutYourCat
21) What did the buffalo say when his son went to college?
Bison.
_Kenney_
22) What did the pirate get on his report card?
Seven Cs.
Ozocubu
23) A dyslexic man walks into a BRA.
Qwerty_Resident
24) What do you call a fish with no eyes?
“Fsh”
pakett
25) My dog has no nose.
Oh, how does he smell?
Terrible.
Piles_of_Puppies
26) “Knock knock”
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who.
W, H, O.
27) Two fish are in a tank.
One turns to the other and asks, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
maester_t
28) What are Mario’s overalls made of?
DENIM denim DENIM.
AntiparticleCollider
29) How do you make an egg roll?
Just push it.
oliveyoutoo
30) Shout out to all the people who don’t know the opposite of in.
HereComesDragonair
31) How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow his foot prints.
letsgocrzy
32) He digs, then she digs.
I dig, then they dig.
Not everyone gets it,
it’s some deep poetry.
JackApplebye
33) What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A Rip off.
BigAndy22265
A little laughter killed no one. Share these jokes with someone you think is taking life too seriously.