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‘Come Back With A Warrant!’ The Best Responses When Someone Knocks On Your Bathroom Stall.

By Toula K
January 19, 2018
Shutterstock / fizkes

Have you ever find yourself at a loss for words when someone knocked on your occupied bathroom stall? Perhaps you mumbled something like “hello?” or “someone’s in here!” Not to worry, these people have you covered. Here are the best ways you can respond to someone when they interrupt you while you’re, erm, doing your business.


1. “What are your sins my son?”

FatKanibal


2. I like saying “No, thank you” as if I’m politely declining their offer to join me.

OhTheHueManatee

3. “GET ME SOME LAXATIVES AND SUGAR FREE GUMMY BEARS, THIS IS GONNA BE A BATTLE TO REMEMBER!”

PM_ME_ZELDA_HENTAI_


4. “What’s the password?”

Nomadic_rhubarb

5. Say “seat’s taken” like the kid in the opening scene on the bus from Forrest Gump.

Anastik

Continue reading on the next page!

6. Come on in, the water is fine!

Ryanpilot

7. Just scream as loud as you can and don’t stop ’til they leave the bathroom.

TheRealWondertruffle

8. “Thank God! Did you bring the butter?”

GreenCoffeeMug

9. “Who is it?”

Russian_ram

10. “The flash drive is under the sink.”

Nixalo

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11. Throw the spare toilet paper roll over the top of the stall and bonk them on the head with it. Bonus points if you can reel it back in.

battlecats44


12. “Come back with a warrant!!”

CerealKilla1

13. “You can’t rush art!”

Giantess_Here_AMA

14. ” We’ve been expecting you. Come in.

AtrociousAli

15. “Dave’s not here, man.

dewaynemendoza

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16. “You don’t want this stall. Trust me.”

-917-


17. “Hold on, let me finish my sandwich!”

pidgebo

18. “Finally, reinforcements.”

DirtySingh

19. In a panicked voice say, “I came alone like you told me to. Here’s the briefcase with the money; please don’t hurt her!”

decadude

20. Nothing to see here, just move along, sir! And when they start walking away you call out again, Sir…sir! Just move along.

historicTurd_forSale

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21. “You’re just in time, I really need some help.”

leland73

22. Just knock back from the inside, and say nothing.

Back2Bach

23. Let out the most bloodcurdling scream you can manage, then drop a penny into the toilet bowl.

N546RV


24. “Who dares disturb the Great and Powerful Oz?”

VexAndSilence

25. College student here….”f*** off” seems to be the appropriate response in my household.

BleedGreen207

Continue reading on the next page!

26. I like to loudly whisper, “I hate the way you make me feel about myself.”

JSodapop


27. Had a friend come to town and we loaded up on loads of shitty food as he crashed at mine, and we made our own Harry Potter drinking game because fucking why not. We managed 4, 5 and 6 before crashing. When I woke up in the morning, I couldn’t find him, and the bathroom door was locked. I knocked, only to be greeted with him yelling stupidly loudly:

“Expecto Pooptronus!”

Rivuzu


28. Dammit mom, I need my alone time!

BiggerBangTheory

29. Dunder-Mifflen, this is Pam.

siggypatch


30. …Dad?

steely_phil_shortman

Source 1, 2

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