'I Walked My Dog With A Remote Control': People Share The Laziest Thing They've Ever Done

I’ll do it later. My mom will do it. It’ll work itself out. The excuses we tell ourselves to justify our laziness!

These Redditors shared stories that can teach us all a lesson in energy conservation.

[Source listed at the end of the article.]

“I lived in a loft apartment and was having a lazy weekend with a friend. We decided to order pizza but neither of us wanted to go downstairs and answer the door.

So, we did what any lazy girls would do. We found a basket, an old jump rope, a bathrobe sash and a scarf, tied them together, and lowered the money down in the basket. We had the pizza guy tie the rope around the box a couple times so we could bring it back up.

We tipped him well enough to make it worth his while, but he still called us ‘weird’ before he left.”

“I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes the dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, other times he wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I’m comfy in bed.

Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once dog decides where he’s sleeping, I’ll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.”

“I was in a class called OJT (On-the-Job Training) in high school. Every day, the last period of school was dedicated to me being able to leave class to go to ‘work.’ We were given grades by our employers, which would then turn into grades for the class.

As a high school senior, I convinced the teacher that oversaw this program that because I had my own ‘corporation’ that I used to sell stuff on eBay, I should be able to be my own boss. She agreed.

I failed that class because I didn’t bother to fill out the paperwork to give myself a grade.”

“I was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep, but didn’t want to get up. So I called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. When my mom came in to bring me the phone, I asked her to turn the light out when she left. I then hung up both phones and went to sleep.”

“In college, we hooked up those upside-down water bottles that people put in hamster cages to our headboards with a wire. The idea was that we could drink from them when we woke up after a night of partying. It enabled us to just open our mouth instead of having to move any other part of our body.

We didn’t get much water out of it.”

“I drove to class. Saw the escalators up to my third-floor classroom were broken. Stared at the stairwell door for a moment. Went home.”

“The passenger seat floor in my cars have become basically waste bins that get cleaned out when they rise to be level to the bottom of the seat, or a little lower if the stars are aligned and I’m dating someone.

Until it reaches that height, I throw a towel across the mess to cover it, and then it just looks like I have something on the floor–something that’s not a small landfill of Red Bull cans, water bottles, and the paper that covers the straws at Dunkin Donuts.

It originally started as having a towel there for mud and snow, but I found myself occasionally tucking garbage under it when I had to give someone a ride. Eventually it became a habit of towel covered trash piles. I recently got a new car, so I’m really planning to not start doing that again.”

“I actually managed to wash my bed sheets for once. The problem is I didn’t put the sheets on my bed till 2 months later.”

“I used to have one of those ‘clap on, clap off’ lights in my room. I hated clapping, so I just made an audio recording of me clapping and mapped it to one of the programmable keys on my keyboard.”

“I shot about 10 nerf darts at my light switch while lying in bed. I missed all of them and slept with the lights on.”

“I once attached my dog’s leash to my RC monster truck car and walked her around the cul-de-sac with it… all from the comfort of my living room. Please don’t judge me.”

“My TV was on my dresser and I didn’t have a remote. I had turned off Netflix in an effort to go to bed. I decided a few minutes later that sleep is for the weak, and decided to go for more Netflix.

I never got up to turn my tv back on though. I watched hours of Netflix on my tiny phone to avoid getting up for 5 seconds.”

“Last semester I went to class from Monday to Thursday. I had yoga class Tuesday and Thursday, which gave me an excuse to wear yoga pants all day on those days.

By the end of the semester, I was wearing them every day, disregarding my jeans completely on Monday and Wednesday. It got to the point where I would sleep in them, roll out of bed, throw on a bra and t-shirt, and call it a good outfit.

Every day.”

“Not me, but a buddy of mine confessed this. He was laying in bed one morning. He picked his nose and had no where to put it… so he put it back in his nose.”

“One of my best friends and I determined that we share a common thread of laziness. We bump our bodies off of walls and other tall rigid objects in order to make 45 or greater turns in the house. It’s not anything we did intentionally, we just kind of discovered one day when we were back in high school.”

“I was once at a huge restaurant, sitting in a corner and getting terrible service. Instead of getting up to find my waiter, I pulled out my phone and called the restaurant to send the waiter back to my table.”

“I was watching TV with a roommate, and the TV remote was right in front of us on the floor. Instead of just leaning over and grabbing it, we use pillows, hoodies, and feet to finally get it close enough that we literally didn’t have to move to get the remote.”

“I accidentally clicked on my CD drive in Windows, and the disc drive opened up because where was no disk. The tower was out of reach. Instead of standing up and walking four feet to close it, I Googled how to write a software program to close it.

10 minutes later, success.”

“I was laying on my bed and I had to search something in Google on my web browser. Unfortunately I had a wireless mouse, my keyboard was across the room, and I had no will to get up.

I literally scrolled around the web page I was on at the moment to find and copy each letter of what I needed to search with my mouse and paste it in the web address bar.

I will never forget. It took a good few minutes to do my search. I was ashamed of myself that night.”

“I was about 12 years old. I was sitting on my couch watching cartoons and eating buffalo wings. I didn’t want to get up and throw away the bones, so I just shoved the plate under the couch. I then (from the couch) began throwing each and every eaten wing and bone into one the corners of the living room, somewhere in between the bookshelf and the TV, until my dad walked in.

He was both baffled and ashamed… and so am I.”

“I’m a pretty lazy guy so I’d say it’s tough to narrow my actions down to just one choice. A couple of examples:

I have literally mastered the art of picking things up with my feet.

In high school I used to pay a kid a dollar every day to sneak to the cafeteria and buy me my lunch, so I could skip lines come lunchtime.”

“I was about to head home from work, but first went to a pizza shop and ordered a pizza for delivery to my house. I then asked if the driver could drive me there as were going to the same place. It was cheaper than a taxi.”

“For about 6 years of my youth I used to pretend to be asleep so people had to carry me everywhere instead of me walking. I became a pro at this, and I’m a small guy so people wouldn’t make much of a fuss.

I’ve also done this at least three times since becoming an adult, while completely sober. Thanks to good friends for carrying me upstairs, tucking me in, and not making fun of me.”

“I downloaded a movie on the Internet instead of going upstairs to grab the DVD.”

“When I was a sophomore in high school, I would tape metal BB pellets to my pens and pencils and carry a telescoping magnetic pointer so I didn’t have to bend over to pick them up if they rolled off my desk. It came in handy in the hallways too.”

“I threw away all my dirty dishes once and just bought new ones because I really didn’t want to wash them after they’d been sitting in my sink for three weeks. I should feel shame about it, but instead I just feel like a forward-thinker.”

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These comments have been edited for clarity.