https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRe…
I’m a bisexual, I was talking to some colleagues after work and one guy (who I never liked, he’s a pain to work with and he won’t stop bragging) decided to bring up the fact that one of our managers is gay. Everyone just commented on how they already knew that or how nice that manager is, and tried to move on to the next topic of conversation. But this dude wouldn’t let it go, he kept saying how he never would have thought the manager was gay, he said “not that there’s anything wrong with that” a few times but it was clear that no one in that group thought there was anything wrong with it except for him. I just said “well, you probably wouldn’t expect me to have a girlfriend either but I do”. And that’s how I came out at work.
tanglekelp
Coworker. He didn’t know I was day and kept talking about how he hates “flamers” and can’t understand why they can’t just be “normal”. I calmly explained that movies and TV shows stereotyped gay people and though they do exist like that, it’s a minority of gay people. He looked at me like I was crazy and asked “What. You think there’s guy’s who suck dick that don’t act like girls?” I smiled and said “Yeah. You’re talking to one.”
He got SUPER embarrassed and tried to back peddle what he had said, then started apologising non stop. I told him I wasn’t upset with him, and asked him not to let himself be fooled by stereotypes from media. We’re good friends now.
It was around the time NC passed their HB2 law and all of the sudden everyone was an expert on Transgender issues.
I was at a bar with some friends, my (now ex) boyfriend’s band had finished their set and another band was setting up. I was outside having a cigarette and talking to some people. My friend Julie was outside, smoking. Julie was transgender, but pre-everything, no hormones or surgeries. She still looked pretty passable, and most people were really cool with her, but this guy I was talking to started ranting about how this was wrong.
Now, this guy was a regular at the bar, he wasn’t here for the music, he liked “classic rock and country, ya know, real music.” to use his words. I’m sitting there with my cigarette, listening to him rant about HB2, How transgender people were all wrong, and none of them were pretty, they all looked like men in dresses.
I had this smirk on my face, “Not all look like men in dresses, many are passable and you’d never notice them.”
“I’d notice them. You can’t hide what God gave you. They don’t look like you or the other girls here.”
Now, I had to struggle not to laugh, as I too was transgender, but unlike my friend, I’d been on hormones for some time at this point.
“Girls like me?” I said, curiously.
“Yeah, pretty ones.”
I looked him dead in the eyes, “Thanks, but I’m sure your opinion of me would change if you saw the dick between my legs.”
He sat stunned for a minute, asked if I was joking, but I was walking away at this point, he shouted something like, “I knew the whole time.” I stayed away from him the rest of the night after that.
NESoteric
My dad.
Well, I am bisexual, but still. Non stop comments. Came out to him last night because the person who raped me threatened to out me. Not on my fucking watch, did it myself. He has only said “ok” and refuses to talk to me.
DontTrustmyResearch
Yup. Parents, family, random checkout people, classmates at Uni. Happens all the time. It’s almost always politically charged with religious opinions and/or “it’s just gross” type arguments.
If it’s during a conversation directly with me I crack a few gay jokes and find a way to work my boyfriend or bisexuality into the conversation just to see them squirm, never making a reference to the stupid shit they’ve just said.
Love it.
TheAngryRussoGerman
Basically constantly. I’m a trans man but am not out to my family so I get to enjoy a lot of transphobic comments (my favorite was when a distant cousin came out as trans and his family sent out these really cute little postcards about it, and my grandma was telling us about it and prefaced with “I don’t know whether I’m supposed to call her a man, a lesbian, or a what”), but I also get to enjoy a lot of homophobic comments as well. “I don’t hate gays but I think that they shouldn’t be able to get married.” “I’m okay with gays but I don’t think that they should be able to have parades.” Blah blah blah. This is in spite of the fact that, for some reason, everyone thinks that I’m a lesbian.
shiguywhy
I live in the armpit of the south, so it happens all the time. It’s most memorable when it’s your family, though. All three of my brothers have said, at least once, that they hate/can’t stand gay people. My oldest brother actually once told me he’d like to shoot up a pride parade. Safe to say I’ve gotten pretty good at keeping my damn mouth shut. Bible belt, amirite?
ChChChCharlie
Me: how can a man not like a big wet fanny in his face? Now gay friend (didn’t know he was gay at this stage and weren’t yet friends) : how can you not like a big cock spunkin all over your face? Me: ‘few seconds of ponderin’ hmm good point
Was then I wasn’t actually homophobic and that I just don’t like the way really really camp and flamboyant people (like the typical gay men in the tv) go on.
young-lecky
I’m bisexual. Catholic middle school and public high school in tiny towns out in the middle of nowhere. In a lot of cases I just kept my mouth shut (or pulled the “as a lesbian… supporter” defense). I find coming out to people in anger is a bad idea. I have to be in a particularly nice and educational mood to be willing to go through the process of explaining how bisexuality works, and being angry doesn’t put me in a nice and educational mood.
boopbaboop
My father is homophobic and has no idea that I’m bisexual. He is one of those guys who believe that being a person from LGBTQ+ community means that you have pyschological problems and that you should be treated. I tried to explain him that it is not a sickness and that it is normal but he wants a scientific truth and I can’t give him that because love is not science and he does not get that somehow.
SleepyMassie
A friend of mine was talking About how trans people shouldn’t exsist and that there’s only two genders. I was out to him already, but he probably forgot that I was trans so I reminded him. He dismissed me and said that I don’t count cause I’m a cool trans person. I just laughed a little and let him finish his rant.
Meeeeeko
Working in video games, there are a lot of opinions on censorship and games’ ability to influence the actions of the people who play them
Speaking with a friend at the office one day; he is generally a level-headed cat but had just proposed to his fiancee and was talking about potentially raising kids. He said that MTV needed to stop glorifying “that flaming shit” and showing gay couples/weddings on TV because it sends a “bad” message to kids.
I told him that saying “gay people on TV makes your kids gay” is the same as saying “violent video games makes kids violent”. He stopped and smiled and we remained close friends until we both moved on from that job (although I never told him or anyone there that I was gay).
disorder_unit
Former co-worker. He spoke ill of our other coworkers (saying they’re idiots, etc.), looked at porn at work, slept in the job, and more. He said that he knew this nice transgendered girl and could set me up with her. Long story short: he was removed from the site I work at for a lot of reasons, including the deal he gave me over being gay.
meowplusderp
Yes. My parents. They are conservative Mormons and I remember the day gay marriage was legalized, we were at my eldest sisters house and I heard them say “They shouldn’t be pushing this lifestyle on us. It’s just not right”. I was kind of bothered by that but I let it slide because I was busy doing something and didn’t want to interfere with something that could out me if I didn’t learn to shut my mouth. Then later I heard “It’s just disgusting. I mean they can do what they want but don’t make us accept it. I won’t ever condone the lifestyle.” And I guess that just set me off. I got up from my seat and my parents, sister and my brother, who was sitting quietly across from me, all looked at me. I looked at my parents and straight up (no pun intended) said to them (something along these lines) “Well maybe you don’t like it or you don’t agree with it, but it’s their life. And stop being hypocrites. You have forced me to go to church for 13 years and I have had no say in it. You’ve shoved it down my throat. They want their equal rights and you people need to stop denying it from them. That’s horrible to tell others that who they love is invalid and it’s even more horrible to deny them the right to consecrate that love.” I then grabbed my backpack and headed to the front door until I stopped and yelled to them “You guys are just sad people, to even have the audacity to call someone else’s love disgusting is just horrible and I hope you guys realize how much harm words can cause” and I left. Best moment of my life.
Heda_SlaysAF
Not about anyone making homophobic comments but I felt the need to chime in with this.
Sitting in the smoking area of my workplace yesterday with a few others. A girl said that she has high blood pressure due to stress. Another lady we work with chimes in ”You’re not pregnant are you? I had that when I was pregnant!”
It was quite funny because everyone else in the smoking area knew that the girl with the high blood pressure is gay apart from the lady who asked her was she pregnant.
mashedpotato92
Pansexual female here. One acquaintence from high school was making jokes about gay people at a party, thinking he was a laugh riot. One of his buddies was giggling and hyping him up, but all the other people in the crowd were just as uncomfy as me.
Coincidentally, I invited my girlfriend (at the time) along, who was incredibly uncomfortable at these jokes, and after his long tirade, I formally introduced them, then turned to my girlfriend and said “See doll, I told you there’d be some ignorant people here.”
Never seen anyone so embarrassed (in front of at least 10 people) in my life, and my girlfriend thought I was pretty hot shit after that.
JJtheMUA
When my son was born my mother in law gifted us a book called “Bringing Up Boys” by James Dobson. It included a few chapters on identifying and preventing “pre homosexual behaviours”, and making sure your son understands the expectations of his gender role.
All my husband’s older relatives are that way, and aggressively so, and his parents sort of treat us as the nice heterosexual success story. I’m bisexual, and we are both involved in kink, and every bone in my body wants to casually drop it into conversation around my mother in law. Especially now that her two daughters are lesbian and genderfluid respectively. Surprise, lady, everyone is gay!
We’re keeping our distance lately in part because our son, as he’s gotten into toddler years, has taken an interest in barbies and barrettes and nail polish and I just do not want to hear whatever my mother in law has to say about it.
GhostlyGirl
I feel like everyone has. Most recently it was a group of girls in a bathroom basically saying lesbians were creepy and only going to hit on you. But I wasn’t going to confront five people about it, I’m not that brave.
Hoothootmotherf-cker
There was a blind synth player in my high school marching band. Incredible musician and singer. Also super homophobic. One day, while we were taking a break to eat lunch or something, my then-boyfriend sat down in my lab and snuggled up to me. Anyway, we were about three feet away from her, being super adorable, when she says, out of the blue, “Ugh! I hate gay people and their gay agenda!” First I chuckle. Then I realize she’s not joking. Anywayyyy, she clearly had no idea she was sitting right next to some very snuggly gays. So this girl continued to obliviously chatter on, and everyone just silently agreed never to tell her anything. After the initial awkwardness wore off, it struck me that the whole thing was pretty hilarious.
There have been lots of less hilarious incidents, too, but I’d rather not dwell on those.
DragonDragonCat
My manager, whom I speak with often makes condescending/”funny” remarks about gays/lesbians. I usually dismiss his attitude as stupid but when it comes to subjects that affect legislation or treatment of others, I make sure to correct him and provide a counter-argument to every bullshit he can come up with. He does not know I’m bisexual and have been in relationships with men before.
-Specter
It was back when I was a receptionist at a college. One of the security guards, a Haitian lady FOB, who I was friendly with started talking about a show she saw with gay people in it and how disgusted she was with them, not knowing that I am also gay. I kept my mouth shut, got promoted and moved on, but my partner who took my old job and is much more outspoken than I had no issue explaining that he was my partner. I only wish I could see the look on her face.
We eventually saw her at the office Christmas party and were cordial. I am a softie, I knew she had a kid to support and would probably lose her job if I reported her. I figured her views were based on where she grew up, so there was no point trying to change someones mind when it is so ingrained in their head that gays are bad.
BackRo11s