Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.
Tragic, especially considering they didnt exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.
The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet his two newest eternal residents, and despite rivers of lava and torrents of brimstone, theyre standing around in jackets.
Not hot enough for you? asked the Devil.
What, this? Nah, this is like a Spring day in Chicago.
The Devil doesnt take lightly to such a slight, so he decides to really turn things up. The renewed eternal hellfire and inferno has made the screams of the tormented souls in hell even louder.
Rivers of lava overflowing their banks. The Devil goes to check on his two Chicagoans, and sure enough he sees them lounging in shorts and t-shirts.
Not hot enough for you? the devil queries bewilderedly.
What, this? Nah, this is like a July in Chicago. In fact, I think the humidity was worse in the summer of 96.
The Devil is even more incensed. He comes up with a new idea. Turn the thermostat way down. The cursed souls in Hell are greeted by new but equally unbearable type of torture. The lava stops flowing, brimstone stops glowing, and wouldnt you know it, the ground they stand on has frozen solid.
The Devil again searches out his two Chicagoans, and to his dismay, theyre hugging and cheering.
Whats this all about!? the Devil roared.
THEYVE DONE IT, ITS FINALLY HAPPENED, THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!