Did I ever tell you guys the story of how I fucked with my white coworker out of spite? No? Let’s go
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016So I had just gotten promoted and had moved to sit with my new supervisor and team. I was a little nervous because this area was white af.
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016I chose a seat next to the only other black girl on my team. Little did I know, that on the other side of me sat the Mayonnaise Monster
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016He comes to his seat and introduces himself as ‘Evan’. Asks my name. Mind you, my new desk has my name on it.
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016He looks at the name and says …….”What the fuck does this say”I brace myself for the fuckery like pic.twitter.com/PkzzJjHQWm
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016It is my full name and not my nickname so I give him a break and I sound it out for his simple assLike “LUHHHHH TOOORRR UHHHH”
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016He gets annoyed and tosses my name plaque back on my desk. He fakes confusion and says “Laquisha?”I’m like pic.twitter.com/Q7V3ZF3d0Q
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016Not today white Satan NOT TODAY!!!
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016I look him dead in the eye and sound it out again for his clearly dumb ass”LUHHHHH TOOORRR UHHHH”
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 He scoffs and says to my black ass face”Whatever, I won’t even try. All those names sound the same anyway!”
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 I struggle to hold my composure, smile and ask gently “Oh?””What. KIND. of. Names?” pic.twitter.com/in9TA7vg6Y
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 He shrugs and says “You know, those hood black girl names. They all sound the same so I refuse to try”And laughsIN MY FACE!!!
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 I’m like .2 seconds from losing my cool and my fancy new position.
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 I inhale and say “Yeah, I completely get it Todd”And smile as innocently as as possible pic.twitter.com/0RETk1jlYs
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 If you remember, his name is EvanHe knows that.I know that.He KNOWS I know that.
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016I spend the next 6 months referring to him as the whitest white boi names I can think of.
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 I mean to his face, to other co-workers, in emails, EVERYWHERE!!”Hi, Jake””Billy asked me to get this to you””CC: Josh”
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 It gets to the point where other people start doing it as well. Not only is it hilarious, but he is clearly mad af about it!!
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 Finally, he comes to my desk and asks to speak to me. He pronounces my name right this time.I say “Sure Sam, what can I do for you?”
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 He sighs and says” I get it ok, I’m sorry. Just please stop”I’m like pic.twitter.com/0eSm0geGiU
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 Finally I look at him and say “You know what Steve? I’ll give it a try. I can’t promise anything. White names don’t come naturally to me”
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016 The end!!Moral of the story: “Petty is as petty does”
ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) January 1, 2016