With the inauguration upon us, the internet has responded by turning it into a drinking game. But choose the rules you want to drink by carefully: you don’t want to hurt yourself!
This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.
And don’t forget to suggest your own drinking game rules in the comments!
1. Here are the rules I propose.
Yes, mylord: If Donald compliments himself,everyone must bow. The last person to bow downs their drink.
Wait, what? Everyone drinks when Donald Trump contradictshimself within one minute.
Unbelievable: If the words “you would notbelieve” are uttered, everyone present must reply “We believe!”,with the last person taking not one, but two shots.
Gloriousorator: If Trumpy forgets his speechand goes on a tangent, the first person to say: “Excellent point!” isallowed to assign two sips to anyone.
Wordatorextraordinaire: When Donny Don invents a word,the youngest person drinks any amount they want. Everyone else must take asmany sips.
Splitting hairs: If T-Dog mentions his hair, the oldest person drinks any amount they want. Everyone else must take as many sips.
Make America Drink Again: When Donaldine Trumpet says “Make America Great Again” everybody takes a shot.
bLbGoldeN
2. Youknow that thing he does with his hands?
Rivlev
3. I’m imagining it will play out like Scar’s speechin the Lion King. It begins slowly, with Trump reflecting on Obama’s presidencyand the death of democracy.
Then, he kicks it up. (continued…)
Keep reading on the next page!
So if the skiesturn red, his voice booms as Russian politicians slowly pour onto the stagebehind him, and Trump announces a new era where lions and hyenas live togetherdrink?
ahrdelacruz
4. Drink when he finishes his speech and says “Obama, you’refired!”
itwasme101
5. If Kanye West successfully interrupts and announces his plan torun in 2020 finish all liquor in your house and (optionally) send me say $50for making the big call.
noob_almost
6. Drinkevery time he mentions he has a friend.
aletz10
7. One Drink:
–sniff
-Mexico
-Dishonest
-Disaster
-Bad
-Sad
-Great
-Tremendous
-Very
-Terrific
gronke
8. Everytime he claims he’s the only person to fix something, drink.
Every time he says”big-league,” drink.
Everytime he says “fake news,” drink.
TheMalteseSailor
9. All I know is that if the speech starts to make perfect sense,you should probably stop drinking immediately.
Funandgeeky
Keep reading on the next page!
10. Take two Drinks every time hesays:
-China
-Hillary
-Putin
-Russia
-Trump
-Huge
-Inner Cities
-African Americans
-Fake News
-Trust me
gronke
11. Take ashot every time you feel displeased Trump is going to be president. If you’re aTrump supporter, take a shot every time you feel smug watching the speech.
A_Better_Change
12. Everytime he refers to himself as “humbled”, snort an entire ounce ofcocaine.
zodar
13. Drinkheavily every day for the next 4 years. That is my drinking game.
cooltape
14. Drink every time he makes a vague claim about experts, being anexpert, or knowing experts.
Drink every time he singles out a minority group of some kindfor scorn.
Drink every time he implies he’s the smartest person in theworld.
Drink every time he bashesliberals for some reason.
loughla
Keep reading on the next page!
15. If he actually surprises us with a well deliveredinaugural address, chug a pitcher of beer.
letsgetdangerous
16. I feel like Trump will get wind of any drinking game and thenedit his speech in such a way so that he kills all people trying to turn hisspeech into a drinking game.
TheNaBr
17. Drinkanytime he refers to anything as a “disaster”. Drink double for”total disaster.”
Crap_the_booze_out
18. Drink for every vague superlative.
“Huge” “Great” “Best””amazing” all get shots. You’ll be dead by the third sentence.
JCashman317
19. Step 1: Take a shot every time he sniffles.
Step 2: Find a good AAsponsor.
Yer_Moms_a_Sherpa
20. Take a shot every time the crowd gets loud and he stops talking so hecan point at someone.
Take 4,000 shots if he shows up wearing a Make AmericaGreat Again hat.
Anonymous
Keep reading on the next page!
21. Pro Tip: If you’re underage and still want to playa pseudo-drinking game, find some of those jelly beans that have a 50/50 chanceof being disgusting (bean-boozled, I think) and replace “drink” with”pick a random bean.”
Lumcakes
22. Tequilashot every time he says the word deal. You will need several gallons.
RobbieWoods
23. Chuga fifth at the start so you’ll probably have to go to the hospital. Then theycan repeal and replace your liver.
TmickyD
24. When he says his first word, start drinking. Don’tstop until after the impeachment. Trust me on this.
lespaulstrat2
25. No, Trump has not written his own inaugural address. Trump liesto constantly boost his ego. Trump’s speech will have been written by someoneelse, and it’ll be obvious when he veers off of it. Each time he does, DO ASHOT.
Neapola
26. Alittle off topic, but if you can, skip watching the address in any form andread the transcript later. Trump is an insatiable ratings addict and it wouldjust kill him if people didn’t tune in to watch his inauguration.
throneofmemes