[Source can be found at the end of the article]
24. uh.. dont ever say that please!
Co-worker was born and raised in Armenia, had only lived in the United States for about two years. She mostly mastered the English language really quickly, except…
One day when she was leaving work, she pokes her head into the break room and says to us, “Okay guys, I’m leaving! Rest in peace!”
“Uh, I think you mean ‘Peace out.'”
“What’s the difference?”
“‘Rest in peace’ is what you say to show respect for a dead person.”
“THAT’S what Rest in Peace means? Why didn’t anyone tell me that? I’ve been saying it to customers for months!
gameshowutopia
23. Ill just be your mommy until we find your real mommy
A while ago I was in the mall on a crowded day when suddenly I felt a tiny hand clasp my palm. A little girl, maybe 5, had mistaken me for her mom and held my hand and started wrapping herself around my leg. It was so sweet and I knew it would frighten her when I pointed out her mistake- but when I did her confused expression was priceless. She continued to hold my hand while we walked around looking for her mom. It was extra cute because I remember doing that myself as a kid.
LianaLiana
22. When kids ask for the most bizarre things
Six year old: Daddy, can you buy me a German?
Me: A German? That’s a person from Germany. You can’t buy people.
Six year old: But I want to write on it and make pictures like my friends.
Me: I’m not sure they would like that.
It took a couple of more questions for me to realise he actually wanted a journal, not a German.
Megathorax
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21. What a champ!
Was at my local Target where a little girl (maybe like 4?) was with her parents. She was twirling around in circles and completely face-planted into the ground. Like face down butt up face-plant. I was expecting full blown tears and screaming to enrage from this child but instead she happily sang “I’m okay!” and got up and twirled again.
Thought it was the cutest thing in the world.
elsani
20. Why are you all laughing?!
At a big box store trying to keep my kids occupied while my wife checked out. Told my three year old it was time to leave and she went tearing after a woman who was dressed the same as my wife. Opened her arms and hugged the lady from behind with her face planted into the lady’s rear end. I was laughing the lady was laughing, the 3 year old was scared and confused.
BarneyFyfe
19. The correct pronunciation
The hostesses at the restaurant I work at are all about high school age and I love them dearly. Anyways, one day our manager gives one of them the wine special for the day to write on the chalkboard by the entrance. This girl didn’t know much about wines, and had trouble reading the manager’s handwriting, so instead of writing “Pinot Grigio” on the board, she wrote, “Pinut Grigle”. Now it’s really hard for me to talk about Pinot Grigio without calling it Pinut Grigle just cause it tickles me.
v0rtigaunts
18. Confused little girl
Was in a waiting room in a hospital and a little girl asked her father what was on his name tag. The father told her it was his name, and the little girl said “I thought daddy was your name.
WhenInDoubtFapItOut
17. This game is clearly broken
When I was younger I had one of those brain trainer games for my DS. One of the mini games would show you a colour written in a different colour if that makes sense (like the word purple written in yellow text) and you had to say the colour of the text into the microphone as quickly as you could, I guess to test your brain power or whatever. My little brother, about 7 at the time, was very good at this game for someone his age, but hadn’t quite gotten the hang of pronouncing his ‘r’s yet. My parents and I would sit there in silent stitches listening to him angrily yell ‘WED’ into the DS fifteen times over, while it failed to recognise what he was saying. It was so cute.
angelwithashotgun09
16. And the winner is
Playing the drinking game Kings, a ten was pulled for ‘categories’. For those unfamiliar, it’s a card-based drinking game using a standard deck where each card represents a different game that is played, usually ending with drinks. Categories means that someone names a category of “things” and everyone has to go around naming something from that category. If you fail to name something, you drink.
So I chose the category “80’s Hair Bands,” expecting answers like White Snake or Tesla. This young girl was the first person to go, and she confidently yells “A scrunchie!”
She technically wasn’t wrong.
cincyfan04
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15. Thats just awkward.
The cutest I’ve seen was when we were visiting a manor house open to the public for tours in the UK that had peacocks strutting around the grounds.
One boy asked the tour guide what those strange creatures were. She said, it’s a “peacock.” He said, “I pee with mine, too.”
The look on everyone’s faces was priceless – especially our young tour guide as she tried to conceal her amusement.
Back2Bach
14. Ooh look, something she has never tasted! yummy!
We had a new girl in my office. She was very bubbly, so she fit right in when everyone was Joshing around. One day, we all got sushi and she said, “I love wasabi!”
Then, eats a giant glob of wasabi, and runs out of the room with tears coming from her eyes and sweat pouring out of her face.
It was really cute. We gave her a hard time about it.
Anonymous
13. Best. Name. Ever.
I’ve got a friend named Preeti. One time Preeti and I were volunteering at an elementary school as part of our high school community service organization, and we were introduced to the kids (around 6-7 y/o) as “Ms. [my name] and “Ms. Preeti”. When one of the kids asked Preeti to go to the bathroom, the kid said “Ms. Beautiful” and it was all I could do to not say “awwe” right in front of the kid.
time-traveling-ninja
12. Im going to say that from now on
A few months ago my 6 year old little girl was eating dinner. She let out a burp and said “fart on me.” I waited a minute and asked what she said. She explained “I said fart on me. It’s what you say when being polite.” Me and my wife smiled and told her it’s actually pardon me.
ElwoodBlues_78
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11. Guilty is written all over him
My friend’s dad is Italian. They moved to Germany in the 60s and have lived here ever since.
A few years ago, he was caught speeding (not very much over the limit) by a stationary speeding camera. He noticed the flash go off and asked his daughter what would happen now.
She told him not to worry and that he’d get his ticket in the mail. But he was so worried about having broken the traffic laws that he went to the police station the day after and told them “I did it.”
He was obviously asked to explain what he did and after telling them that he was the one who went above the speed limit yesterday, I guess the cops had a bit of a chuckle, thanked him and told him, he’d get mail.
ntrontty
10. Perfect choice of clothes for a fancy event
My significant other is a fluent but non-native English speaker. One night, he was talking about a particular event and how “everyone would wear tuxedos and night gowns.”
Took me a second to realize that he meant evening gowns, but I thought it was adorable. Yet another genuinely weird moment in the English language.
3pianists
9. At least she tried!
My wife is absolutely horrible telling left from right. It’s at the point where if I ask her which way to turn at an intersection I do the opposite of what she says. It’s the correct way about 90% of the time.
A few months that ago when we were going to pick up our marriage certificate I was asking for directions because she grew up in the area. She had already gotten it wrong twice on the way so she paused, thought about it for a moment, and the said “riiiiiiight”. While pointing to the left.
And then she wouldn’t make eye contact with me and started turning a bright shade of pink while I cracked up for the rest of the ride and until we actually made it to the registrar.
So_Incredibly_Bored
8. Ouch, kid. That has got to hurt!
I took my niece (7 years old) to a restaurant yesterday and we sat at a high top with my friend. My niece and I were getting up to wash our hands and she fell off of her chair. I picked her up and walked to the bathroom. She was crying and I asked her if she hurt anything and she said “no Kaitlyn. Just my pride.
LessThan12Pars3cs
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7. So worth it!
Met this guy on Tinder, probably our 4/5th time hanging out since our first date. End up stopping somewhere and I meet some of his family. Get back into his car on our way to original destination. He gets a text message from his mom and accidentally lets the car read it out loud. Word for word “She is the most beautiful girlfriend you’ve ever had!”. Dead silence because neither of us are the type to make the first move so we never discussed much how we felt for each other. Afterwards he was so awkward and tried hinting at asking if I’d like to be his girlfriend. Needless to say he ended up asking me out and 3 months later he’s still the most amazing man I’ve ever met.
pretz3lluv
6. When a prank turns into an act of kindness
When my brother was in college, the neighboring sorority went into his campus house and labeled just about everything with sticky notes. I’m not really sure what exactly the joke was, but I guess that was their idea of a wholesome prank.
My brother’s housemate was a super-sweet exchange student from China. He thanked them for the nice surprise, because he thought they were trying to help him with his English.
Ready-Player-2
5. You’re too good for me!
My husband had surgery and was having a really rough time coming out of anesthesia. Didn’t know where he was or why. From the things he was saying, he was about ten years in the past (before we met). Husband: Who are you? Me: I’m your wife. H: I’m married!! Me: yep H: No, you are much too pretty to be my wife.
It was pretty heartbreaking in the moment, but funny in retrospect. It took 3-4 hours, but eventually he remembered me and the rest of his life again.
Nevertrustafish
4. Lets just stick with his definition
My (then) seven-year-old nephew and I were watching a TV show, and one of the characters called another girl a “Butter Face” to insult her.
My nephew looked at me with confusion, said “Butter Face?”, and looked back at the TV. I was about to explain to him what that insult meant, but then a look of comprehension crossed his face.
“Oh, ‘cuz she’s got blonde hair, so her bangs look like a hunk of butter on her forehead. I get it!”
I thought his definition was hilarious, so I didn’t bother correcting him.
christinequizmachine
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3. Potatoes are the new natural disaster
My four-year-old step-kid was going on and on and on for like two straight breathless minutes about how her school handled a bit of bad weather, but it took us a while to understand that because we couldn’t figure out why she kept saying “we had to hide from the potatoes (tornadoes)!
janiebegood
2. When kids get angry but then re-evaluate their life choices
Little girl in the grocery store was having an argument with her parents. She looked like she was maybe four or five. My husband and I round the corner and this girl looks at us, then her parents, then us, and comes running down the aisle. “I’m going to go live with THEM and THEY will be my new mommy and daddy because YOU’RE MEAN!” My husband ADORES kids, and I am very obviously pregnant-we smiled at her parents and they said, “Oh. Well, Mr. and Mrs. New Dad and Mom-good luck with her,” before turning their cart and walking away.
The girl gets this brief panicked expression and I shouted, “Hey-wait!” Parents turned around, “Does she have allergies or anything?” “Nope, she’s healthy as a horse. She does need a nightlight though.” “Oh, that’s too bad-we don’t have nightlights.”
This girl let go of my husband’s shirt tail and hauled back to her parents so fast she looked like a cartoon character running. “I don’t really need that toy. I love you.” You could tell she really reevaluated her choices up to that point, and it was adorable.
KGRanch
1. All aboard the FEELS train
My boyfriend had a brain injury four months ago. He was in a coma for about a week and when he woke he had to relearn how to speak coherently all over again. The speech therapist had a session with me present so that I could practice these lessons with him at home. He (the therapist) would say a word and my boyfriend would have to give him a synonym or definition. The therapist said happiness and my boyfriend actually [cut] pointed to me and said my name. I did a weird mixture of crying/laughing and the therapist told him ‘no, that’s incorrect’ and my boyfriend pouted and frowned and didn’t quite understand his mistake. It’s a memory I think of a lot when we’re going through a particularly rough patch.
CelestialSeeker
(Source)